Location Clues 1

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If you come across clues which are not on my list, can you please put them in the comments section and I will add them?  Thank you!

Press Ctrl+F to search.  Try not to enter any gender words like he, she, him, her, etc and just search for key words like “Chick-bone Hill” or “Hobbit House”.

Beijing, China

I know she was interested in the amazingly rare fossils found at Chicken-bone Hill.

I was rattling through the spectacular history of the city when your friend cut me off and asked, "That's where they invented Peking Duck?"

I know he got in trouble for pestering the tour guide to take his photo on the Dragon Throne.

I mentioned to your friend that Genghis Khan tore through there in 1215.

I hear she was sight-seeing in one of the public squares and asked where the tanks were. The authorities were not pleased.

She was meeting her friend at the largest public square in the world - a space big enough to fit a million people.

She said something about catching a little light opera at "the egg."

She's been fascinated by the history of this city ever since he saw Leung Kwok Ng in his most regal role.

He told me he wouldn't be allowed in the heart of the city. "It's right there in the name."

You might find him casing the joint from up on Coal Hill.

I just heard a snatch of what he said on his phone: "Meet me on the other side of the Meridian. We'll make the hand-off there."

I suggested he could take a detour and learn about Confucianism at the Imperial College.

I overheard him talking about a crystal coffin, and how many thugs it would take to carry it.

He seemed weirdly curious to take a look at the Great Leader.

He was eager to see a fossil of a Shantungosaurus.

She's been fascinated by the history of this city ever since he saw Leung Kwok Ng in his most regal role.

I told her if she gets out of town, she should take a trip to the Thirteen Tombs. She said that sounded like extra-bad luck.

I thought it was odd when she asked me where she could get a good look at a DF-1 missile.  But I figured it was safest just to answer her.

He mentioned he was going to a giant complex built to house a hospitals, schools, even a rollerskating rink. I asked what was so weird about that? And then he told me where it was built.

She mentioned she needed to get stealthier. You might find her shopping for locally-made sneakers at Sanlitun Village.

I hear she was sight-seeing in one of the public squares and asked where the tanks were. The authorities were not pleased.

She's been fascinated by the history of this city ever since he saw Leung Kwok Ng in his most regal role.

He's been fascinated by the history of this city ever since he saw Leung Kwok Ng in his most regal role.

Shanghai, China

She has her eye on the golden pistol of Pockmarked Huang.

She loves to collect small swords, and heard there's a society for people like her in the gardens where she's going.

Here, look at this photo she dropped of a jade rock in a garden. It looks exquisite!

She said she wanted to pick up some canvases by Chen Yifei while she's in town.

He wanted to catch a show at Jean-Marie Charpentier's Crystal Palace. I've never heard of royalty by that name, myself.

He wanted to explore the city's underground tunnels that still exist under the art museum.

You might find her trying to pet the cockroaches at the city's Natural Wild Insect Kingdom.

She said something about staying near the site of the 2010 World Expo.

She's headed to the "Paris of the East" - well, one of the cities that's earned that nickname.

I heard her say she might take a day trip in a submarine to South Korea, northeast of the city.

I bet you'll find her in China's largest port.

I bet you'll find him in China's largest port.

You might find your suspect in the museum, playing "heads or tails" in the Gallery of Ancient Chinese Numismatics.

She said she used to steal Swatches from kids on the playground, and now she was going to case a whole gallery of Swatch art.

She said she was looking for the largest Pearl in the city?

I heard her in passing, planning a meeting in "the second bauble."

She told me her daring getaway plan: basejump from the tower, duck over to the Pearl Dock, and she's gone. Personally, I bet she'll just hide in a broom closet.

She wanted to book a room in a hotel that wasn't too loud. A hotel of peace, if you will.

There's an Orson Welles movie about the city your suspect went to - or wait, maybe it was Hitchcock, or Charlie Chaplin! I think I'm confusing three different movies.

She's in a skyscraper with 88 floors marked by 13 bands.  If you count right, you'll find it.

She just texted me this photo - look at this classic Mao wristwatch she picked up at the Dongtai Lu Antique Market!

She could be at the Ancient Chinese Ceramics Gallery. She said he had a few gaps in her Qing collection.

He wanted to book a room in a hotel that wasn't too loud. A hotel of peace, if you will.

He said he used to steal Swatches from kids on the playground, and now he was going to case a whole gallery of Swatch art.

He could be taking a ride on the world's first levitating train, jumping up and down to see if he can make it tap the track.

I heard him say to someone: "Meet me at the old Bubbling Park Cemetery - and if you're late, I'll bury ya there."

 I heard her say to someone: "Meet me at the old Bubbling Park Cemetery - and if you're late, I'll bury ya there."

He's sneaking in via shipping container to the Jiangnan shipyard, and in a place that big you'll never find him.

He's in a city at the mouth of the Yangtze River.

He wanted to catch a show at Jean-Marie Charpentier's Crystal Palace. I've never heard of royalty by that name, myself.

He loves to collect small swords, and heard there's a society for people like him in the gardens where he's going.

Here, look at this photo he dropped of a jade rock in a garden. It looks exquisite!

She said she was ducking into the basement of an apartment building to look at propaganda posters?

He said he was ducking into the basement of an apartment building to look at propaganda posters?

If he gets there around New Year's, he might try out for a slot in the lion dances at Longhua Temple.

If she gets there around New Year's, she might try out for a slot in the lion dances at Longhua Temple.

I know he wouldn't miss the Dragon Boat Festival on Dianshan Lake.

I know she wouldn't miss the Dragon Boat Festival on Dianshan Lake.

He's probably at the Fish and Bird Market on Zhoushan Lu, trying to feed the fish to the birds.

She's probably at the Fish and Bird Market on Zhoushan Lu, trying to feed the fish to the birds.

He's paying his respects to the writer at Lu Xun Park.

Hong Kong, China

She was looking for the treasure of a vicious, somewhat Oedipal pirate.

She said she was looking for something that used to belong to a man named Cheng Po?

He said he was looking for something that used to belong to a man named Cheng Po?

She mentioned her boss's birthday was coming up and she was going to shop for rare tarantulas at the Goldfish Market. As she put it to me, "What do you get for the woman who's stolen everything?"

He mentioned his boss's birthday was coming up and he was going to shop for rare tarantulas at the Goldfish Market. As he put it to me, "What do you get for the woman who's stolen everything?"

Sure - she went to one of my favorite cities. I really thought the place would change when the British handed it over in 1997, but it's still a great place to make a fortune.

Your friend went to my favorite Special Administrative Region in all of China

She didn't say where she was going, but she told me if the heat got too … hot, she'd hide out on top of Big Misty Mountain.

Before she left, she spent a week brushing up on her Mandarin - because she didn't know that most folks speak Cantonese. I told her if she sticks to English she won't embarrass himself.

She mentioned she was going to prowl the record stores for the latest Canto-pop.

You might find her taking the MTR down Johnston Road to Causeway.

I heard he just plunged twenty stories down the Abyss Turbo Drop.

I heard she just plunged twenty stories down the Abyss Turbo Drop.

Before she left, she asked me if I had any tips for moving a sculpture, it shows somebody sitting down, and oh yeah, it weighs over 250 tons. I told her I'd have to get back to her.

Before he left, he asked me if I had any tips for moving a sculpture, it shows somebody sitting down, and oh yeah, it weighs over 250 tons. I told him I'd have to get back to him.

Look at her Facebook update: she stowed away in a shipping container, she can't get out, and she has no idea where she is! But she says he heard a bell ring 108 times today?

She said she was going to fly into the city and then sneak away by sanpan from Aberdeen Promenade. I guess her "sneaking away" plan doesn't preclude telling everyone where she's doing.

He said he was going to fly into the city and then sneak away by sanpan from Aberdeen Promenade. I guess his "sneaking away" plan doesn't preclude telling everyone where he's doing.

He told me he had a place to stay, but it was a bit of a climb. He asked me if I thought he could still get a sedan chair to take him there.

He was having trouble with his laptop, but he mentioned he could get a new one at the "deep water pier"?

He has to get up a mountain, but he has a weird fear of funicular railways. I told him hey, it still beats walking.

I heard he finally got up the mountain. Turns out he's holed up at the Governor's old lodge.

Kyoto, Japan

She was very interested to hear that she'd be passing right by the International Manga Museum.

She's been complaining she has a wicked Charley horse, so I told her there's a fantastic boar shrine that could fix her right up.

She told me this city's biggest festival was started to ward off a plague.  So far as I know, it's worked for over a millenium.

I warned her that if she's going in the summer she should look both ways in the street or risk getting crushed by a ten ton parade float.

She mentioned she was going to audition for the part of a samurai at the city's Studio Park.

She mentioned that the last time she was in this city, a monk would run by her hotel every single morning.

She's got a friend who's on a rigorous seven-year training regimen. I asked what would happen if her friend missed his goal, and, well - let's just say he'd better not.

She mentioned she was going down a narrow street for flower viewing?

When she told me the mountain she's visiting, I warned her whatever she does, don't interrupt anyone in the middle of a week-long fast.

She told me she's loved video games ever since the holiday season of 1985.

Odds are you'll catch her at a Purple Sanga game.

She told me she was going to wait in a castle for a little moustachioed man a red cap and shirt, white gloves, and blue overalls. I wonder where she's headed?

He told me she's loved video games ever since the holiday season of 1985.

Odds are you'll catch him at a Purple Sanga game.

He told me he was going to wait in a castle for a little moustachioed man a red cap and shirt, white gloves, and blue overalls. I wonder where he's headed?

He mentioned something about hiding out in Kawai's giant kiln.

He told me he wasn't sure he'd made the right choices in his life, but as they say where he's going, he's already jumped from the terrace of Kiyomizu Temple.

She told me she wasn't sure she'd made the right choices in his life, but as they say where she's going, she's already jumped from the terrace of Kiyomizu Temple.

She mentioned she was going to a temple with the tallest pagoda in Japan.

He mentioned he was going to a temple with the tallest pagoda in Japan.

I suggested he might want to check out the Mound of Ears, but he wouldn't hear of it.

I suggested she might want to check out the Mound of Ears, but she wouldn't hear of it.

Your train will roll by the Eastern Temple.  Jump off the back before you get to the station, turn left, and you'll be hot on his trail.

Your train will roll by the Eastern Temple.  Jump off the back before you get to the station, turn left, and you'll be hot on her trail.

I warned him that if he's going in the summer he should look both ways in the street or risk getting crushed by a ten ton parade float.

I warned her that if she's going in the summer she should look both ways in the street or risk getting crushed by a ten ton parade float.

He's trying to blend in with a Buddhist sect. You might find him reciting their nembutsu at Kiyomizu-Dera.

She's trying to blend in with a Buddhist sect. You might find him reciting their nembutsu at Kiyomizu-Dera.

He told me he was going to sneak into town through a giant underground pipe wearing a red cap and shirt, white gloves, and blue overalls. I wonder where he's headed?

She told me she was going to sneak into town through a giant underground pipe wearing a red cap and shirt, white gloves, and blue overalls. I wonder where she's headed?

Nara, Japan

I asked if she needed a reservation, and she said she'd be staying in one of the old-fashioned cottages at Edo-San.

I'll bet she headed out of town on either the Yamatoji Line or the Sakurai Line.

I asked if he needed a reservation, and he said he'd be staying in one of the old-fashioned cottages at Edo-San.

The city he went to was the capital of the country - for a measly 74 years. Back then it probably took 74 years just to get the letter saying, "Hey, guess what. You're not the capital anymore."

He's headed to a city on the eastern end of the old Silk Road.

I told her a great temple she could visit, but I warned her to keep an eye out for the deer poop.

She's hold up in a place that, its other merits aside, is a fantastic example of Kasuga-zukuri architecture.

I don't know why a Buddha would ever have antlers, but apparently she was excited to see one that did.

I don't know why Buddha would ever have antlers, but apparently he was excited to see one that did.

She said she passed a couple thousand stone lanterns on the road up and almost two thousand metal ones inside the building.  As she put it to me, "Who's gonna miss one?"

You might find him taking a stroll along the "path beside the mountains," near the headquarters of the Tenrikyo.

You might find her taking a stroll along the "path beside the mountains," near the headquarters of the Tenrikyo.

His ears perked up when I told him about the "Venus of the Orient," until I told him it wasn't the arms that were missing.

Her ears perked up when I told him about the "Venus of the Orient," until I told her it wasn't the arms that were missing.

The city he went to was the capital of the country - for a measly 74 years. Back then it probably took 74 years just to get the letter saying, "Hey, guess what. You're not the capital anymore."

He's headed to a city on the eastern end of the old Silk Road.

I'm no fan of cha-ga-yu, but your friend there can't get enough of it.

The last time I was in this city, I wanted to see the Water-Drawing Festival.  Trouble is, I got there too early and spent the whole time ducking monks waving huge pine torches.

Oh sure, I know where he went.  The town just celebrated their 1300th anniversary! The sake never stopped flowing.

He said he was headed to pay his respects to a court lady who drowned herself in a pond. I wonder if he knew her?

He dropped this odd slip of paper: "Meet me on the dragon boats under the harvest moon, out of earshot of the gagaku musicians." Sounds romantic!

She was torn on where to go next, but when I told her about the Monkey Festival, she was sold.

All I know is that she's in someplace called the Flourishing Law Temple, no doubt trying to stop it from flourishing.

All I know is that he's in someplace called the Flourishing Law Temple, no doubt trying to stop it from flourishing.

Tokyo, Japan

He seemed really intrigued when I told him about the kite museum. If you want to find him, head upstairs from the restaurant where it's housed and you should bump right into him.

He told me that most of what he knows about this city's history, he picked up from jidaigeki.

She seemed really intrigued when I told her about the kite museum. If you want to find her, head upstairs from the restaurant where it's housed and you should bump right into her.

He told me that the old name of this city means to "estuary." I told him this sounds like the dullest city ever - but he swears I couldn't be more wrong.

She told me that most of what he knows about this city's history, she picked up from jidaigeki.

I know where he went. I had a friend who passed through the city in 1923. The destruction was unbelievable.

I told him to make sure he's not in town when the great catfish awakens in the bay and brings destruction.

I know she was excited to see the birthplace of her favorite filmmaker, a genius who'd had plenty of "high and low" times in his life.

Your friend wanted to visit the radio station that once broadcast Iva Toguri D'Aquino.

She kept talking about grabbing memorabilia from the "drunken angel," her favorite film star of all time.

The neighborhood she's headed to is also known as "silver mint," on account of the Shogun minting coins there in the early 17th century.

You might find her at the record store, digging for old Ryuichi Sakamoto vinyl.

You might find him at the record store, digging for old Ryuichi Sakamoto vinyl.

I know she was planning to swing by the Sony building to see if they had any Walkmen left.

I know he was planning to swing by the Sony building to see if they had any Walkmen left.

She mentioned she'd be hiding out in the old Bricktown neighborhood.

He mentioned he'd be hiding out in the old Bricktown neighborhood.

I told him about a gate in the city he's going to. It's said that if you pass through it, it will free you of greed, hatred, and foolishness.  He said if he did that, he'd have to get a new job.

I told her about a gate in the city she's going to. It's said that if you pass through it, it will free you of greed, hatred, and foolishness.  She said if she did that, she'd have to get a new job.

You might find him napping in the park that the American Army called Washington Heights, before the locals changed the name.

Sure, he told me where he's headed. You know, they've really fixed the place up since the Fire of the Long Sleeves.

When he told me where he was going, I warned him to watch out for tengu - especially kawatengu.

All I heard was her mumbling as she walked by, but I know she said something about a lost treasure on "dream island."

All I heard was him mumbling as she walked by, but I know he said something about a lost treasure on "dream island."

Sure, I know where she went. My father was there once - he got to see Joe Frazier win his gold medal!

Sure, I know where he went. My father was there once - he got to see Joe Frazier win his gold medal!

She said something about a radioactive tuna.  I hope she just meant she microwaved it.

He said something about a radioactive tuna.  I hope he just meant she microwaved it.

She did say she was checking out the wreck of an ill-fated fishing boat that wandered into the wrong "snowstorm."

He did say she was checking out the wreck of an ill-fated fishing boat that wandered into the wrong "snowstorm."

I suggested if he has a free day, he should swing by the parasitological museum. He politely said, "No thanks."

I suggested if she has a free day, she should swing by the parasitological museum. She politely said, "No thanks."

You might catch him snoring through a matinee at the National Noh Theatre.

You might catch her snoring through a matinee at the National Noh Theatre.

Seoul, South Korea

He's a huge fan of Kim Won-ki, a.k.a. FruitDealer - look for a tournament and you might catch him there.

He said he wanted to see what a 72-foot tall man with a hammer looked like, and wondered if they'd bolted it down.

He must be running out of money - I heard he got kicked out after trying to sleep in a noraebang in Myeongdong.

He looked around, then said this place had nothing on Pimatgol.

She said she'd be hanging around one of the Five Grand Palaces - but I can't tell you which.

Sure, I know where she went. I still have a stuffed Hodori from the year they hosted the Olympics.

She told me she didn't want to linger in town, but she had to swing by the music fountain.

She said she'd be passing by a bell that used to ring 33 times every morning and 28 times at sunset.

She dropped this note, but it just says, "Make the handoff at 88 Garden."

He mentioned he's a big cabbage fan. I told him he'll be very, very happy where he's going.

You might find him shopping for used records in the Goblin Market, at the stadium.

When I rattled off the museums he should see, he was puzzled that they built one around a single food.

He wouldn't believe me when I told him about the health benefits of lactic acid bacteria.

She told me she didn't want to linger in town, but she had to swing by the music fountain.

He was nervous about going to this city. He said he didn't sleep for a week after he saw "A Tale of Two Sisters".

I've lived there, so I gave him some tips. I remember one October, I watched a fabulous royal wedding - only to find out it was a reenactment!

I've lived there, so I gave her some tips. I remember one October, I watched a fabulous royal wedding - only to find out it was a reenactment!

You might find her sunbathing on the quad at Yonsei.

You might find her shopping for used records in the Goblin Market, at the stadium.

You might find him shopping for used records in the Goblin Market, at the stadium.

She said she wanted to see the urban renewal project that uncovered a "lost" stream.

She told me she didn't want to linger in town, but she had to swing by the music fountain.

Sure, I know where she went. I still have a stuffed Hodori from the year they hosted the Olympics.

Sure, I know where he went. I still have a stuffed Hodori from the year they hosted the Olympics.

He might be lurking around Father Junipero Serra's first mission.

She might be lurking around Father Junipero Serra's first mission.

Long ago, the city he's in went by the name Wiryeseong.

He whispered something about a rendezvous in Gyeonghoeru, between the 47th and 48th columns.

Long ago, the city she's in went by the name Wiryeseong.

She whispered something about a rendezvous in Gyeonghoeru, between the 47th and 48th columns.

Bangkok, Thailand

He's after a relic connected to a kingdom of "a million rice fields."

He looked tense and tired. I told him to treat himself to a massage at Abhaibhubejhr College.

I overheard him say something about a house that had been taken apart and moved into the city. I guess that's what happens if you have a housing shortage.

He told me he was going to stowaway on a boat that's making a delivery to some monks.

You might find him shopping at MBK.

Here, he dropped this photo of a barge with all the snakes' heads on the prow.  What a beaut!

I'm not sure where she went, but she said something about a buddha. And I can confirm for you that it was round, and cracked a smile. Does that narrow it down?

I suggested she check out the bridge running over the River Kwai.

I told her the story of a stucco statue that cracked open to reveal a startling hidden treasure. Now she's gone to the same city to crack open everything in sight.

Sure, I know where she went. She was just telling me about a snake farm where I could see someone milk a Siamese king cobra.

I suggested he visit my favorite museum in the city, but he didn't seem impressed - said it was just full of knock-offs and fakes.

When he told me he was looking for a lawyer, I gave him the name of a museum where he could find one.

He had his cell phone's speaker on, and you could hear what sounded like paddles in the water and a man chanting, "bot heh rua."

You could try looking for him at the cabbage patch palace.

He told me he was going to prowl around Jim Thompson's house to pick up some tips on the silk business.

He just texted to tell me that the temple where he's hiding is fantastic - but he was really bummed out that they took down the Giant Swing.

Here, look at this coin he left behind. Is that a prang?

You could try looking for her at the cabbage patch palace.

She told me she was going to prowl around Jim Thompson's house to pick up some tips on the silk business.

I think she got stuck in a tuk tuk on Sukhumvit Road.

I think he got stuck in a tuk tuk on Sukhumvit Road.

She's after a relic connected to a kingdom of "a million rice fields."

He's after a relic connected to a kingdom of "a million rice fields."

I overheard her say something about a house that had been taken apart and moved into the city. I guess that's what happens if you have a housing shortage.

I overheard him say something about a house that had been taken apart and moved into the city. I guess that's what happens if you have a housing shortage.

He went south to catch the Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, but he was too seasick to pick any produce.

She went south to catch the Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, but she was too seasick to pick any produce.

If he has a day off, he may head to the zoo in Dusit Park. He heard they have star deer, and he's hoping they need an agent.

If she has a day off, he may head to the zoo in Dusit Park. She heard they have star deer, and she's hoping they need an agent.

I heard her plan a meeting with a stranger on the Skytrain to National Stadium.

I heard him plan a meeting with a stranger on the Skytrain to National Stadium.

You might find her doing her early morning t'ai chi in Lumphini Park.

You might find him doing his early morning t'ai chi in Lumphini Park.

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

He's probably at the History Museum, pawing the relics from Angkor Wat.

She might be at the old Norodom Palace.

She's at the temple dedicated to Tran Hung Dao - the hero who trounced Kublai Khan's army in 1287.

He might be at the old Norodom Palace.

He might be at Ho's museum, in the Dragon House.

He told me he had the perfect place to stay, but he was a little scared of the "black echo."

He said he'd try to stay underground, but he's not as brave as MacGregor.

Everything I know about the city where he went, I learned from Schönberg and Boublil.

He told me he'd be hiding in tunnels under the city?

She told me she'd be hiding in tunnels under the city?

She got off the train at District 3, rode a motorcycle taxi over to District 1, got totally lost, and wound up in District 10.

He got off the train at District 3, rode a motorcycle taxi over to District 1, got totally lost, and wound up in District 10.

She said she'd try to stay underground, but she's not as brave as MacGregor.

He was just asking me where he could get good binh soup.

I asked him who's buried in Marshal Le Van Duyet's tomb. It's a trick question, of course. The answer is Le Van Duyet, and his wife.

I overheard him planning a rendezvous at the Democracy Monument.

I heard your friend there showed up at the Acoustic Bar with an electric guitar.

He's probably at the History Museum, pawing the relics from Angkor Wat.

I'm worried he'll lose his dong at the city's Race Track.

I'm worried she'll lose her dong at the city's Race Track.

He just said he was going to see "the Jade Emperor and his four big diamonds"?

She just said she was going to see "the Jade Emperor and his four big diamonds"?

Everything I know about the city where she went, I learned from Schönberg and Boublil.

She's posted a photo of herself on Facebook in a Hindu temple, and that sculpture - I could swear that's Mariamman?

He's posted a photo of herself on Facebook in a Hindu temple, and that sculpture - I could swear that's Mariamman?

I know she's meeting someone, and I heard her say, "Meet me at the temple. Yeah, the one that used to be a joss stick factory."

I know he's meeting someone, and I heard him say, "Meet me at the temple. Yeah, the one that used to be a joss stick factory."

I caught a look at his eticket. He's flying into Tan Son Nhat International, and he chose pho bo as his in-flight meal.

I caught a look at her eticket. She's flying into Tan Son Nhat International, and she chose pho bo as her in-flight meal.

I heard her whisper: "Meet me by the statue of Avalokitesvara. The one where she's on a lotus blossom. No, I don't know what a lotus blossum looks like - ask the monks!"

I heard him whisper: "Meet me by the statue of Avalokitesvara. The one where she's on a lotus blossom. No, I don't know what a lotus blossum looks like - ask the monks!"

Manila, Philippines

I'll bet he's scouring the island for Yamashita's gold right now.

He did say he was going to get his kampilan sharpened while he's in town.

His hair was the second letter in that classic color acronym, RAY G BIV. I wonder how the Bivs are doing these days.

She said something about jogging across the MacArthur Bridge?

She's racing from Plaza Mexico to Santa Ana - if only to stay ahead of the fumes from the pollution.

Look for him taking a dip off the beach in Matabungkay.

I think he was planning to stow away on a ship in the China Sea Race and escape at the finish line.

My info's sketchy. I just know she's in an octagonal palace that was built in tribute to the "Tree of Life."

I know where she is, but act quick - she's speeding through town in a jeepney as we speak!

I told her not to miss a chance to catch a show at the Hobbit House.

I heard her planning a rendezvous in the the Chapel of Our Lady of China.

You might find her lurking outside St. Lorenzo's church.

You might find him trying to recite "My Ultimo Adios" by the Memorial.

He told me if he has time, he's going to head up to Kabayan to look for the famous fire mummies of the Timbak Caves.

Before he left, I warned him to watch out for the monkey-eating eagle.

He was hoping to get a good look at "The Spoliarium" while he was in town. Preferably from inside his hotel room.

I suggested he get away to Taal Volcano, but he seemed kind of nervous about it.

She's holed up in a major metropolis in the Philippine Archipelago.

She did ask a lot of questions about the Black Nazarene - like, how much does it weigh, and how many people would she need to carry it around.

My info's sketchy. I just know she's in an octagonal palace that was built in tribute to the "Tree of Life."

You might find him trying to recite "My Ultimo Adios" by the Memorial. 

I know where he is, but act quick - he's speeding through town in a jeepney as we speak!

I know where he is, but act quick - she's speeding through town in a jeepney as we speak!

My info's sketchy. I just know he's in an octagonal palace that was built in tribute to the "Tree of Life."

You're looking for a city that's right between Caloocan City and Taguig City. You can't miss it!

He told me he could get some incredible exchange rates at Binondo Central Bank, but I told him to be careful.

She told me she could get some incredible exchange rates at Binondo Central Bank, but I told her to be careful.

I would look for her behind the walls of Miguel Lopez de Legaspi's old fortress.

I would look for him behind the walls of Miguel Lopez de Legaspi's old fortress.

You're looking for a city that's right between Caloocan City and Taguig City. You can't miss it!

Singapore, Singapore

She mentioned she'd sail on a junk to an island between the Straits of Malacca and the South China Sea.

Before she left, I warned her that they take even the misdemeanours very, very seriously.  Just ask Michael Fay.

You might find him checking out the amazing malls along Orchard Road.

You might find her checking out the amazing malls along Orchard Road.

I heard him say he was going to visit an amazing building on South Bridge. I asked him where, and he said he'd rather walk through hot coals than tell me.

Here, he dropped this postcard of a temple with, oh, it looks like 72 deities posed around the tower.  Look at these colors!

He said he was going to go over to the Quay to look for a particular statue, but I warned him that the one down there is a replica; the original is somewhere else in the city.

I suggested he grab lunch at one of the restaurants at the pasar besi.

I suggested she grab lunch at one of the restaurants at the pasar besi.

All I heard as he was walking by was something about "raffles" and a "statue."  So, maybe he's raffling off a statue?

He wanted to learn about metal from Brader Bo's Vicious Volume.

Don't miss the dragon boat race. Your friend might be there, rooting for the local British Dragon Boat Team.

You might find him lurking outside the old yellow Treasurer's House, by the Istana.

I told him if he needs a quick snack while he's there, he shouldn't miss the Satay Club at Clarke Quay.

I know when she gets there, she's going to meet someone in Chinatown. Does that narrow it down?

It was hard to eavesdrop on him as he whispered into his phone, but I know he said something about meeting at a curio shop on Temple Street.

It was hard to eavesdrop on her as she whispered into her phone, but I know she said something about meeting at a curio shop on Temple Street.

She told me that everything she knows about this city, she learned from "Forever Fever," and that's the way she likes it.

He told me that everything he knows about this city, she learned from "Forever Fever," and that's the way he likes it.

I told her if she passes by a bar in this city, she should try Ngiam Tong Boon's famous drink. 

I told him if he passes by a bar in this city, he should try Ngiam Tong Boon's famous drink. 

She said something about standing by the Straits of Johor and thumbing her nose at Malaysia. She really hates their football team.

He said something about standing by the Straits of Johor and thumbing his nose at Malaysia. He really hates their football team.

You might find him inspecting the etched glass at Chettiar Temple.

You might find her inspecting the etched glass at Chettiar Temple.

You might find him trying to get lost in the celebrations of Hari Raya Puasa, over by the Sultan Mosque.

You might find her trying to get lost in the celebrations of Hari Raya Puasa, over by the Sultan Mosque.

Kathmandu, Nepal

He was singing under his breath: "I'll soon be seeing you/And your strange bewilderin' time/Will hold me down."

He said his music playlist for the trip had Cat Stevens, Bob Seger, Rush, OK Go, Will Ackerman, and... Godiego, I think.

He said he's off to a city in the Bagmati Zone.

I'd steer clear of your friend. I heard she stole the buffalo from Guru Mapa!

I'd steer clear of your friend. I heard he stole the buffalo from Guru Mapa!

She's planning a rendezvous at a café.  She'll be the one perusing a "Gorkhapatra," which she'll be holding upside-down.

He's planning a rendezvous at a café.  He'll be the one perusing a "Gorkhapatra," which he'll be holding upside-down.

I told her she could drive from the city over to India on the Tribhuvan Highway. Of course, she forgot to mention she's terrified of heights.

You'll catch him lurking around the museum built by General Bhimsen Thapa.

He was on the phone, muttering something about Yen. But it didn't sound like he was talking about money.

You're going to a city that was planned in the shape of a sword. I wonder how they sharpen it?

He had a violent allergic reaction to yak milk and checked himself into Bir Hospital. I would give him a day or two to settle down before you see him.

Here, look at this picture he sent me of a pagoda. I'm no arboreal geneaologist, but it looks like the whole building came from the wood of a single tree.

He's reconoittering by some kind of a wooden covered shelter?

He's headed to that temple, what's it called, the one the King built four hundred-plus years ago.  It's been standing all that time - what's the worst he could do to it?

He said something about "a stone house of arms and ammunition"?

She's at the KTM. The tri-city. Grab your Dhaki topi and get gone!

She's in a garden with six pavilions, named after each of the seasons. That's right - they have six seasons there, so pack accordingly.

If it's past noon, she's probably dreaming in a garden somewhere.

She said she had a yen to see the "pur" of "Kanti"?

He said he had a yen to see the "pur" of "Kanti"?

He's having some trouble at a temple - the holy monkeys just stole his lunch!

He said something about packing a Nepali topi and heading to the capital.

She said something about packing a Nepali topi and heading to the capital.

He said something about wanting to ring a bell - but it "wasn't puja yet."

She said something about wanting to ring a bell - but it "wasn't puja yet."

I mentioned something about Rana Bahadur Shah, and he said, "That rings a bell."

I mentioned something about Rana Bahadur Shah, and she said, "That rings a bell."

Agra, India

He's waiting for someone by the Gate of Magnificence.

Your suspect wished to have been in this city in 1556 when the great Hemu Vikramaditya conquered it.

She's just outside the city, paying her respects to Akbar the Great.

He was holding a ticket for a ride on the Palace on Wheels, and I'd swear it bore the code "AGC."

He's waiting for someone by the Gate of Magnificence.

Here, she dropped this note: "Meet me at the pool outside the House of Dreams.  DO NOT bring your swimsuit."

Here, he dropped this note: "Meet me at the pool outside the House of Dreams.  DO NOT bring your swimsuit."

She went to see one of the new seven wonders of the world.

I just know that she was meeting someone in a "drum house"?

She asked me where she could find a statue of Chhatrapati Shivaji on horseback. Is she doing some kind of a scavenger hunt, I wonder?

She's hiding in hands-down the most wonderful tribute anyone's ever paid to their wife.

She was spotted strolling along the reflecting pool in the charbagh.

He was spotted strolling along the reflecting pool in the charbagh.

I'm not sure where she's going. But I heard her plan a meeting "under the onion dome"?

He was last seen lurking by the mosque built for Jahanara Begum.

You could try arresting him in the spot where they arrested Guru Tegh Bahadur.

I warned her while she's in the TTZ to keep her emissions to a minimum.

She went to see one of the new seven wonders of the world.

While she's in town, I told her to pay her respects to Mariam at her tomb.

He's just outside the fort in the Shah Jahan Gardens.

She's just outside the fort in the Shah Jahan Gardens.

He was trying to round up enough players for a game of ludo in the Pachisi Court.

She was trying to round up enough players for a game of ludo in the Pachisi Court.

I'm not sure where he's going. But I heard him plan a meeting "under the onion dome"?

He said he's a huge fan of glazed tile decorations, and I knew just where to send him.

She said she's a huge fan of glazed tile decorations, and I knew just where to send her.

New Delhi, India

I could swear she was humming the latest hit by A. R. Rahman.

I warned her that the city she's headed to lies in the Yamuna floodplains. She assured me that her boss made her pass a swim test before she took the job.

I asked her to grab me a stuffed Shera, if they have any left.

He said he'd be in Victory Square, mentioning something about beating a retreat. Makes no sense to me.

You might find him in the biggest mosque in India.

Yeah, I know where he's going, but I don't agree with it. I like the old deli better.

He was telling me about an iron pillar that's stood for a millennium and a half without rusting. He thought it would make a terrific umbrella rack.

She was telling me about an iron pillar that's stood for a millenium and a half without rusting. She thought it would make a terrific umbrella rack.

I know where she went, but she didn't say why. Maybe she's a student of ancient Jain temples?

She was hoping to find a lotus in the National Rose Garden.

She said she was going to try and climb the world's tallest brick minaret.

He was terrified after he heard the stories about the Monkey Man. I told him it was probably just a manifestation of Hanuman - nothing to worry about.

She mentioned she was going to browse through Ashoka's edicts and then catch a cricket game.

He mentioned he was going to browse through Ashoka's edicts and then catch a cricket game.

She was hoping to find a lotus in the National Rose Garden.

I asked her to grab me a stuffed Shera, if they have any left.

I could swear she was humming the latest hit by A. R. Rahman.

I warned her that the city she's headed to lies in the Yamuna floodplains. She assured me that her boss made her pass a swim test before she took the job.

I didn't catch the context, but he was praising the Birla family for the great work they had done on a building.

He said he was going to check out the fossils at a museum across from Nepal's embassy.

He's headed to one of the city's great temples. I warned him to steer clear of the crowds on Janmashtami.

She said she was going to check out the fossils at a museum across from Nepal's embassy.

She's headed to one of the city's great temples. I warned her to steer clear of the crowds on Janmashtami.

You'll probably find him trapped in traffic in the middle of Connaught Place.

You'll probably find her trapped in traffic in the middle of Connaught Place.

I did spot him carrying a copy of the "Mint" newspaper.

I did spot her carrying a copy of the "Mint" newspaper.

I asked him to drop off a donation for me at the Jains' bird hospital. I hope he didn't just pocket it!

I asked her to drop off a donation for me at the Jains' bird hospital. I hope she didn't just pocket it!

Lahore, Pakistan

I heard he's holed up with some friends in Ravi Town.

You might find him as an extra in a Lollywood horror film. The way he looked was too disgusting to describe - and that was before the makeup!

You'll find him in Faisal Town, in A Block, or B Block, or maybe C Block, or... I forget the other one.

You'll find him near a building that was made by the "Conqueror of the World."

He's near a mosque near a fort. That's nearly all I know.

I sold him a book of the poetry of Shah Husayan for his trip.

I heard she hopped off the Grand Trunk Road and disappeared in the Town of Gardeners.

She mentioned she had to take part in a secret ceremony with the Dracula Club at Aitchison?

She's in the place they used to call the "City of Lava."

He's in the place they used to call the "City of Lava."

She's in a fort. And I don't mean the kind you make with your pillows at the hotel.

She told me she was going to try to steal all 13 gates of the fort!

She asked me where she could find a bottle brush, gulmohar, pipal, jujube, and ditabark. Luckily I knew just where to send her.

He asked me where he could find a bottle brush, gulmohar, pipal, jujube, and ditabark. Luckily I knew just where to send him.

When I told her she'd pass by one of the oldest zoos in the world, she looked baffled and asked how any of the animals could still be alive.

She's going to sneak in to a "Palace of Mirrors." Sounds a little vain to me.

I only know that he's in a famous Persian garden.

I bet he can't count all the pietra dura in Naulakha Pavilion.

I bet she can't count all the pietra dura in Naulakha Pavilion.

I know the garden he's in, but not the terrace he's standing on. He could be at Bestower of Pleasure, or Bestower of Goodness, or Bestower of Life? Actually, it's probably the first one.

He told me he was going to try to steal all 13 gates of the fort!

When I told him he'd pass by one of the oldest zoos in the world, he looked baffled and asked how any of the animals could still be alive.

He's in a fort. And I don't mean the kind you make with your pillows at the hotel.

He's going to sneak in to a "Palace of Mirrors." Sounds a little vain to me.

Look for him lurking down Jail Road in Gulberg.

He said he was headed to the city where they passed the Purna Swaraj.

I heard he's going to the city where they passed the Declaration of the Independence of India.

I heard she's going to the city where they passed the Declaration of the Independence of India.

Your suspect wanted to steal Tseko Mpolokeng's marathon number, no matter how sweatstained it is.

I heard she hopped off the Grand Trunk Road and disappeared in the Town of Gardeners.

I heard he hopped off the Grand Trunk Road and disappeared in the Town of Gardeners.

Well, if he made it through the Wagah border crossing, he'd be a dozen miles or so from his destination.

Well, if she made it through the Wagah border crossing, she'd be a dozen miles or so from her destination.

Have you tried looking for your target in Data Gunj Bakhsh Town? Well, why not?

She could be crunching numbers outside the Data Durbar Complex.

He could be crunching numbers outside the Data Durbar Complex.

Look at this!  She nabbed a photo of herself at a premiere with Reema Khan!

Look at this!  He nabbed a photo of himself at a premiere with Reema Khan!

Colombo, Sri Lanka

From what I hear, he's growing his own ayurvedic leaves for the International Tea Convention. James Taylor would be proud!

From what I hear, she's growing his own ayurvedic leaves for the International Tea Convention. James Taylor would be proud!

He wanted to visit an important temple with a hollow dagoba and a reclining Buddha.

She wanted to visit an important temple with a hollow dagoba and a reclining Buddha.

He was in here looking for someone named Chity so he could audition for his new band. I told him we do have a seat open in the quartet, but we don't exactly play metal.

I heard him whisper into his cell phone, "Meet me in front of the house where the prime minister was shot by the Buddhist monk." I thought he was talking in some sort of code.

She was in here looking for someone named Chity so he could audition for his new band. I told her we do have a seat open in the quartet, but we don't exactly play metal.

I heard her whisper into his cell phone, "Meet me in front of the house where the prime minister was shot by the Buddhist monk." I thought she was talking in some sort of code.

He's devouring a picnic lunch of kiribath and pittu at Hyde Park. 

She's devouring a picnic lunch of kiribath and pittu at Hyde Park. 

If it's monsoon season, you might spot him taking cover in Storm Lodge. 

I don't know much about the city he was going to, but I do remember the TV series. Peter Falk was brilliant!

If it's monsoon season, you might spot her taking cover in Storm Lodge. 

I don't know much about the city she was going to, but I do remember the TV series. Peter Falk was brilliant!

She's taking a grand pass through the city before she settles into the neighborhood. Or should I say a grande passo? A groote pas? 
I expect she's admiring the Bodhi trees in Victoria Park. Though come to think of it, I'm not so sure it's called that anymore. 

He's taking a grand pass through the city before he settles into the neighborhood. Or should I say a grande passo? A groote pas? 
I expect he's admiring the Bodhi trees in Victoria Park. Though come to think of it, I'm not so sure it's called that anymore. 

He had a map with him, but it must have been outdated--he pointed out the route he had planned for a trip to the capital of Ceylon! 

She had a map with her, but it must have been outdated--she pointed out the route she had planned for a trip to the capital of Ceylon! 

She told me she was interested in visiting a mosque that resembles a layer cake decorated like a candy cane. I can only assume she's a religious woman with a devilish sweet tooth!

He told me he was interested in visiting a mosque that resembles a layer cake decorated like a candy cane. I can only assume he's a religious man with a devilish sweet tooth!

Anchorage, USA

Like I told her, you know you're in the largest state in the Union when you're anchored down here.

I told her to check out the old Eccentric Theatre Company, although I think they've changed the name.

I told her to check out the old Eccentric Theatre Company, although I think they've changed the name.

She told me she's in a motel out in Mat-Su. Her room looks out on a totem pole!

You'll find her at an old wood-frame house. Look for the oldest one in the city.

She's hanging out at Oscar's place on M Street.

She mumbled something about getting a new winter coat at the Rondy.

Like I told her, you know you're in the largest state in the Union when you're anchored down here.

You're headed to the site of the old tent city at Ship Creek Landing.

She had a meeting at the convention center, but she had trouble finding her room. She always gets Athabascan names mixed up!

I don't know if this helps, but she said her favorite film of all time is "Snowriders II."

I don't know if this helps, but he said his favorite film of all time is "Snowriders II."

I'll tell you where she went! She went to see the dog sleds slide down Fourth Avenue!

She's going to the zoo that Annabelle built - or rather, that they built around her.

He seemed shaky about his destination after I told him about the Good Friday Earthquake.

I heard he was watching a dogsled race that went right through the city.

He's headed for a museum in a fire station. But that's all I caught from my eavesdropping.

I gave him tips about a canoe race he's entering. I told him it's not the paddling that'll kill you - it's the portage.

He was hoping to get into town in time for the Winter Carnival. You know, that mascot always reminded me of that thing in "Ghostbusters."

I heard him mumble, "Grumble grumble, that Marcus Baker ... acting all tough ... "

I heard her mumble, "Grumble grumble, that Marcus Baker ... acting all tough ... "

He was just bragging that he speaks Eyak. But I happened to know the last Eyak speaker, and it sure wasn't him.

I told her about my favorite James Michener novel. She loved the part about the mammoths crossing the land bridge.

I told him about my favorite James Michener novel. He loved the part about the mammoths crossing the land bridge.

Maybe she's working out at Pete's Gym, on the Park Strip.

Maybe he's working out at Pete's Gym, on the Park Strip.

I heard him say he's heading east of the city and into the mountains, unless he runs out of Grizzly Bear spray.

I heard her say she's heading east of the city and into the mountains, unless she runs out of Grizzly Bear spray.

She just texted me - she almost ran into a moose on Gambell Street!

He just texted me - he almost ran into a moose on Gambell Street!

Austin, United States of America

I told her the name of my favorite Cathedral, but I warned her it's a little run-down.

She told me she was going to see Hannemann's life work - if it hasn't been hauled away.

She said "Hook 'Em, Horns!" and then ran out with her hand in the air in a cow-shape.  So maybe she's decided to matriculate?

You know that fancy old car? The Something-Healey? Well, she had a plane ticket for Something.

She wanted to enroll in the McCombs School of Business.  Apparently, their disgraced dropouts make the best money launderers.

She had two tickets for a night showing at the original Alamo Drafthouse.  It would be a shame to waste that kind of money, so I urged her to remember the Alamo.

He had two tickets for a night showing at the original Alamo Drafthouse.  It would be a shame to waste that kind of money, so I urged him to remember the Alamo.

He's flying in from San Jose on the "Nerd Bird."

He was in the market for a new laptop, so he went straight to the source. Dude, he got a Dell!

He told me his next destination was incorporated on December 27, 1839.  What he didn't tell me was why he knew that, or why I should care.

I overheard him say he's browsing some uncommon objects on "SoCo"?

I overheard her say she's browsing some uncommon objects on "SoCo"?

She was going to sneak into a taping at KLRU.  Or maybe she was going to rob their pledge drive.

She was looking for a weird museum. I knew just where to send her.

I heard her on the phone, telling someone to meet her right by a "lucky lizard"?

I heard him on the phone, telling someone to meet him right by a "lucky lizard"?

She was headed to the old stomping grounds of the late, great Ann Richards.  Yes, Ann Richard's famous even over here.

She's heading somewhere along the Colorado River. Does that narrow it down?

He's heading somewhere along the Colorado River. Does that narrow it down?

He told me he wants to sneak into the largest carillion in the state and teach the students "Achy Breaky Heart."

She told me she wants to sneak into the largest carillion in the state and teach the students "Achy Breaky Heart."

Boston, USA

He wanted to visit a city with an NBA basketball team.  You should be able to narrow that down from 30, right?

She wanted to visit a city with an NBA basketball team.  You should be able to narrow that down from 30, right?

He said he was off to see Conan O'Brien's birthplace.  He'd even bought a big bag of red hair to knit his own wig.

She said she was off to see Conan O'Brien's birthplace.  She'd even bought a big bag of red hair to knit her own wig.

He was carrying a visitor's guide to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.  He was less interested in the collection than its history of enormous heists.

She said she was going to camp outside a game developer's office until they finally made "Zoo Tycoon 3."

She was singing to herself about loving "that dirty water."  I offered her some artisanal seltzer, but she declined - must be one of those hydromasochists.

He was singing to himself about loving "that dirty water."  I offered him some artisanal seltzer, but he declined - must be one of those hydromasochists.

He was off to see the world's most famous Pops.  The orchestral kind, not the number-one dad.

He said he was off to visit the Lampoon Castle.  Apparently they're very welcoming to transients.

She proclaimed she was headed to the university with the largest endowment in America.  I proclaim she was compensating for something.

She went to one of those buttoned-up cities where you can't buy liquor on Sunday.  She said that's why she was sure to travel on a Monday.

She wanted to count every book in Widener Library, so you'll probably have to book her on a million counts of theft.

She was carrying a brochure for Harvard's Memorial Hall.  To be clear: it was a brochure for potential buyers after she stole it.

She had a few "hacks" in mind to show the kids at MIT, and seemed especially excited about a stunt where she'd make their endowment disappear.

Your suspect was excited to take in a game at Fenway Park, then wait until the game was over and steal all the bases.

He was carrying a visitor's guide to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.  He was less interested in the collection than its history of enormous heists.

He told me he was headed to that skyscraper, the Prudential Center.  But geeze, I doubt he'll get a good insurance rate given his line of work.

He wanted to visit the college named for Charles Wesley Emerson.  I didn't know there was a college named Charles.

He was headed to one of the thirteen original American colonies.  Human, not ant.

She told me she had business in the Combat Zone.  When I asked which branch of the service she was in, she said "money laundering."

She was singing to herself about loving "that dirty water."  I offered her some artisanal seltzer, but she declined - must be one of those hydromasochists.

She had big plans to see "a Pats game."  I told her airport security wasn't a game.

He had big plans to see "a Pats game."  I told him airport security wasn't a game.

She was off to see the world's most famous Pops.  The orchestral kind, not the number-one dad.

He was off to see the world's most famous Pops.  The orchestral kind, not the number-one dad.

He said he wanted to carve his name into Plymouth Rock.

She said she wanted to carve his name into Plymouth Rock.

He's headed somewhere in the United States. I know because he'd made extra preparations to get through airport security.

She's headed somewhere in the United States. I know because she'd made extra preparations to get through airport security.

He went to one of those buttoned-up cities where you can't buy liquor on Sunday.  He said that's why he was sure to travel on a Monday.

She went to one of those buttoned-up cities where you can't buy liquor on Sunday.  She said that's why she was sure to travel on a Monday.

He wanted to see the site of history's most famous tea party.  No, not the one between a ten-year-old me and my four imaginary friends.

He was interested in seeing the architectural works of Edmund March Wheelwright, so you might want to look for someone with a Longfellow Bridge-sized suitcase.

All I know is, the city he went to is famous for its clam chowder.  Can't tell you which color chowder though, that's protected under thief-stranger confidentiality.

She wanted to go to the birthplace of Aerosmith.  I told her to walk this way.

She told me she was headed to that skyscraper, the Prudential Center.  But geeze, I doubt she'll get a good insurance rate given her line of work.

He showed me a picture of where he was going next, some place called Faneuil Hall.  Which I believe is named after history's weirdest-named person.

She showed me a picture of where she was going next, some place called Faneuil Hall.  Which I believe is named after history's weirdest-named person.

She told me she was headed to that skyscraper, the Prudential Center. But geeze, I doubt she'll get a good insurance rate given her line of work.

He told me he was headed to that skyscraper, the Prudential Center. But geeze, I doubt he'll get a good insurance rate given his line of work.

He was going to case the Houghton Mifflin Harcourt headquarters to prepare to steal a first-edition copy of "The Lord of the Rings"

She was going to case the Houghton Mifflin Harcourt headquarters to prepare to steal a first-edition copy of "The Lord of the Rings"

New York, USA

He mentioned he'd be hitting the used record stores, looking for Los Zafiros albums.

He said he had reservations at Peter Luger's. But now that I know he's on the run from the law, I suspect he stole that 7 pm slot from someone else.

All I know is, it's a city with a famous skyline.  How come nobody ever talks about cities' groundlines? Some are quite fetching.

He mentioned wanting to cross the George Washington Bridge.  But I'm not sure I'd want to cross George Washington - he defeated the English army!

She was obsessed with trying a Grey's Papaya.  I warned her to stay away from papayas that color.

She was such a jerk. She said the museum she was going to was so much better than ours because it had a full-size blue whale AND a sperm whale fighting a squid.

She wanted to go to Amsterdam, but not to regular old Amsterdam.  She wanted a New Amsterdam.

He had big plans to visit The Cloisters. But why would you want to see medieval art somewhere with no medieval history?

I know the city was famous for its museums, and even more famous for the postcards you could get in its museum gift shops.

She was looking forward to riding the Subway. I could tell because she had no sense of personal space.

She said she'd chosen her next destination based on hearing that she could own it in exchange for trade goods worth 60 17th-century guilders.

She was headed to a city that you would not want to eat salsa from, according to some commercials I saw a few years back.

He was headed to a city that you would not want to eat salsa from, according to some commercials I saw a few years back.

He said he was on his way to the headquarters of Goldman Sachs. That must be where they keep everyone's money sacks.

She wanted to see the work of Robert Moses. So I assume she went to the Robert Red Sea.

He complained there weren't enough people with identical laptops working on their novels here, so he was going to the West Village.

He was here for a while, but then left to find a park that was "a little more Central."

All I know is, it's a city with a famous skyline.  How come nobody ever talks about cities' groundlines? Some are quite fetching.

He was obsessed with trying a Gray's Papaya.  I warned him to stay away from papayas that color.

He mentioned wanting to cross the George Washington Bridge.  But I'm not sure I'd want to cross George Washington - he defeated the English army!

All I know is, it's one of those cities with a, what do you call it? Philharmonic. That Phil, he really gets around.

She said she was on her way to the headquarters of Goldman Sachs. That must be where they keep everyone's money sacks.

He said he was on her way to the headquarters of Goldman Sachs. That must be where they keep everyone's money sacks.

She was headed someplace where she could meet a delegate from every nation in the world. I told her she could stay here and do that on the Internet.

He was headed someplace where he could meet a delegate from every nation in the world. I told him he could stay here and do that on the Internet.

She told me she was headed to Italy.  Well, not actual Italy -- a much smaller version of the original.

He told me he was headed to Italy.  Well, not actual Italy -- a much smaller version of the original.

Chicago, USA

He was going to pitch the story of his childhood to "This American Life," but they said it was a little too pathetic.

They wouldn't let him into the first city he tried to visit, so he went to the second city.

 I told him to take the Brown Line to the Loop - and to remember to jump off before it goes around again.

He made me listen to a demo of his lo-fi folktronica EP. I'm pretty sure "Pitchfork" would give it a 3.2, but he wanted to deliver it to them in person.

She was just telling me that she "likes to shop in downtown Downer's Grove."

She's staying with a great-great-aunt off Pauline Avenue in the Ukranian Village.

He's somewhere along Harlem Ave.  I know that doesn't narrow it down much.

He told me if he get stuck in traffic on Lake Shore Drive, he'll just try driving on the lake shore.

He's going to a town where you can get away with a lot of things, but apparently not tax evasion.

He was hoping to catch a baby carriage rolling down the steps of Union Station.

He's going to a town where you can get away with a lot of things, but apparently not tax evasion.

He was hoping to catch a baby carriage rolling down the steps of Union Station.

He's staying in a student apartment near the site of the Columbian Exposition.

She's staying in a student apartment near the site of the Columbian Exposition.

She said something about going to an aquarium in a shed?

I warned him not to buy a blazer while he's there.  Everyone in that city has big shoulders.

I believe she's at the mouth of the Illinois and Michigan Canal.

I believe he's at the mouth of the Illinois and Michigan Canal.

He told me he'd show me his favorite basketball move - and then he jumped in the air and stuck his tongue out.

He was going to watch a team that had two three-peats in the '90s. What a time to be a fan!

He said something about going to an aquarium in a shed?

I know she was headed to a museum in a field.

I know he was headed to a museum in a field.

He kept raving about his favorite athlete - some baseball player who spent only a year in the minor leagues.

I warned him not to buy a blazer while he's there.  Everyone in that city has big shoulders.

He said something about spending a Sunday on "La Grand Jatte?"

She said something about spending a Sunday on "La Grand Jatte?"

He was excited to see Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert at Second City. I had to break it to him he's a few years too late.

She was excited to see Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert at Second City. I had to break it to her she's a few years too late.

He's a huge fan of Dillinger. Here, he sent me this photo of the bulletholes by the Biograph Theater.

She's a huge fan of Dillinger. Here, she sent me this photo of the bulletholes by the Biograph Theater.

She grabbed her fedora and set off to look for treasures at Indiana Jones' alma mater!

He grabbed his fedora and set off to look for treasures at Indiana Jones' alma mater!

He's staying with a great-great-aunt off Pauline Avenue in the Ukranian Village.

Nashville, Tennessee, USA

Here, he dropped this. It appears to be the insert from a Josh Rouse CD.

Here, she dropped this. It appears to be the insert from a Josh Rouse CD.

The only thing I can tell you is that he was wearing a jersey with a saber-toothed tiger on the front.

The only thing I can tell you is that she was wearing a jersey with a saber-toothed tiger on the front.

As far as I know, she's cruising down I-40 in a rental car.

As far as I know, he's cruising down I-40 in a rental car.

I've always admired the city for its contribution to American literature. With its fugitives and agrarians, it practically owns the Southern Renaissance!

I gave him tickets to the Oilers but it only made him angry. He thought they still played in Texas!

I gave her tickets to the Oilers but it only made her angry. She thought they still played in Texas!

She was trying to track down Andy Warhol's portrait of Jamie Wyeth. She said someone named Cheek had it. 
She was looking forward to galloping through the coffee fields. But only if she could get her hands on Tex Ritter's silver-plated saddle!
He was trying to track down Andy Warhol's portrait of Jamie Wyeth. He said someone named Cheek had it. 
He was looking forward to galloping through the coffee fields. But only if he could get her hands on Tex Ritter's silver-plated saddle!

Miami, USA

She asked me to rent her an airboat big enough to tow Vizcaya. Then she laughed, so I thought she was kidding.

She was looking for a new set of keys: specifically Largo, Biscayne, and West.

She asked me to rent her an airboat big enough to tow Vizcaya. Then she laughed, so I thought she was kidding.

She carried a fistful of Carl Hiassen clippings. Or was that Dave Barry? No I remember now: it was Ana Veciana-Suarez.

I don't want to speculate, but she did say she was looking for somewhere with rampant real estate speculation near Fort Lauderdale, where her parents live.

All I know is she said she'd just subscribed to the Herald.

She asked if I knew where she could buy gator repellent for when she hitchhiked Alligator Alley.

She made it clear she wanted no part of North, West, or East beaches.

She was already wearing a swimsuit and a ton of sunblock.

I heard him exclaim that he couldn't believe the Clevelander wasn't in Ohio.

The guy had a real obsession with pastel architecture.

He wanted to visit the original Joe's Stone Crab. I told him it had probably been eaten by now.

Sje wanted to visit the original Joe's Stone Crab. I told her it had probably been eaten by now.

He checked out a book about Hemingway's six-toed cats. And a book titled, "How to Sell Cats."

She checked out a book about Hemingway's six-toed cats. And a book titled, "How to Sell Cats."

Oh, I reserved his next room - don't recall where, but I do remember it had FDR's middle name.

So she's a crook? Well she won't be the only gangster who's been where she's going.

She mumbled something about a port city, so I assumed smuggling, but then she started waving around pictures of cruise ships.

He mumbled something about a port city, so I assumed smuggling, but then he started waving around pictures of cruise ships.

I caught her setting her watch to Eastern Standard Time. Don't know why she was being so sneaky about it.

She said that where she was going, "First you get the money, then you get the power...."

He said that where he was going, "First you get the money, then you get the power...."

She was headed for a city in the Tropics.  Guess she's not the day-job type.

I caught him setting his watch to Eastern Standard Time. Don't know why he was being so sneaky about it.

He was headed for a city in the Tropics. Guess he's not the day-job type.

He wanted to visit the original Joe's Stone Crab. I told him it had probably been eaten by now.

Oh, he was real interested in seeing where Scarface washed up.  Both raft-wise and career-wise.

So he's a crook? Well he won't be the only gangster who's been where he's going.

So she's a crook? Well she won't be the only gangster who's been where she's going.

She wanted to go somewhere she could get a bagel and a side of beans and rice. I guess that's a complete breakfast in Little Havana.

He wanted to go somewhere she could get a bagel and a side of beans and rice. I guess that's a complete breakfast in Little Havana.

She made it clear she wanted no part of North, West, or East beaches.

He made it clear she wanted no part of North, West, or East beaches.

She was already wearing a swimsuit and a ton of sunblock.

He was already wearing a swimsuit and a ton of sunblock.

He was obsessed with the destruction of an orange bowl. I told him there was a dishware store around the corner and he snapped that I didn't understand.

She was obsessed with the destruction of an orange bowl. I told her there was a dishware store around the corner and she snapped that I didn't understand.

He carried a fistful of Carl Hiassen clippings. Or was that Dave Barry? No I remember now: it was Ana Veciana-Suarez.

She carried a fistful of Carl Hiassen clippings. Or was that Dave Barry? No I remember now: it was Ana Veciana-Suarez.

Las Vegas, USA

I heard your friend auditioned for the Jubilee and knocked the headdress off his partner during a lift. Guess he shouldn’t quit his day job just yet.

Either he made it to the Clark County, or he’s seeing a mirage.

For some reason, he wanted to take a guided tour of “the Boneyard.” As they say, one man’s trash is another’s treasure. He asked if he could have his withdrawal in chips. I told him we deal in officially traded currencies only.

He asked me to book him a room at Bugsy Sigel’s old haunt.

He mentioned stopping in Paris, New York, New York and somewhere with a circus. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

He mentioned that he was a fan of the 51s. I can’t fault him that. It was an amazing year for the Yankees.

He must have been confused, because he told me he was headed to “Hawaii’s ninth island.” I informed him that there are only eight.

He told me he was going swimming in the second largest city in Myanmar. Though come to think of it, there’s not a bay anywhere near there!

He told me he’d be riding the Manhattan Express. I’ve certainly never heard the MTA referred to by that name!

He told me that for his next project, he’s taking a page from Daniel Ocean’s book.

He was hoping to catch this year’s Mint 400. I asked him if he was going to ride a Vincent Black Shadow, but he didn’t get the reference.

He was in quite a rush to get to the tables.  I had to explain to him that the planes don’t actually land on the Strip!

He was looking forward to relaxing with a drink on Cleopatra’s Barge.

He’s doing it his way in the Rat Pack’s second home.

He’s never missed an episode of CSI.

He’s planning a tour of the city’s wedding chapels. Could be quite interesting, though I must admit gothic cathedrals are more to my taste.

He’s wandering around a park with an old stockade built by Latter-day Saints.

I couldn’t tell you much about him, but he did show an unusual interest in atomic testing.

I don’t even want to know where he was going in that outfit. He looked like an extra from “3000 Miles to Graceland.”

I hear he’s looking for proof of extraterrestrial life around Area 51.

I heard he’s headed for Sin City. Sure sounds like his kind of place.

I heard he’s taking driving lessons from Mario Andretti.

I imagine he’ll be spending most of his time on the floor. He’s hoping to bring down the house.

I overheard him telling someone to meet him under “the neon cowboy.” The one with the checkered shirt.

I recommended him a Chiuchow place there, off Spring Mountain Road. They make a mean BBQ pork!

I steered him in the direction of a neon horseshoe.

I suggested he have a look at the Hoover impound, but he said he couldn’t see what all the dam fuss was about.

I wonder if he’s a “Titanic” fan. He’s is in the best place outside Quebec to catch a performance of “My Heart Will Go On.”

I’d look for him off Fremont St. He’s hoping to get his “golden arm” into The Cal’s Hall of Fame.

I’d start by looking for him at the high rollers’ “twenty-one” tables. Unless, of course, they’ve already accused him of counting cards.

If he breaks the bank, he might spend a mint at the Miracle Mile.

If he can’t get his hand into any casino safes, he’ll make a good faith effort at swiping the largest golden nugget around.

If he’s playing at one of the city’s central casinos, you might actually find him in Paradise.

If he can keep a straight face, he may wee bluff his way into the World Series of Poker.

If he’s on a losing streak, he might head west and camp in a valley by some red rocks.

One thing about him did strike me as odd: He kept referring to his trip as a “savage journey to the heart of the American Dream.”

He asked me for a ticket to “bright light city.” I told her she’d have “a swingin’ time.”

He booked a room under the name of Raoul Duke, and demanded a suite be prepared for his attorney.

He’s off to Helldorado Days, boots, spurs, and all!

He’s taking advantage of the best Grand Canal gondola rides outside Venice.

He’s wandering around the Mojave Desert, hopefully with an extra canteen squirreled away!

There certainly wasn’t much here for your philistine friend. His idea of high art is a trip to the Neon museum!

When I asked about his rhinestone jumpsuit, he explained he had an impromptu wedding to preside over.

Where he’s going, people tend to look the other way.  They say whatever happens there, stays there.

Word has it he’s traipsing around “the meadows.”

Word has it he stole a $5,000 pot from Scotty Nguyen!

You might find his at the top of the Stratosphere.

Your sticky-fingered friend has his sights on Mr. Showmanship’s candelabra collection.

I heard your friend auditioned for the Jubilee and knocked the headdress off her partner during a lift. Guess she shouldn’t quit her day job just yet.

Either she made it to the Clark County, or she’s seeing a mirage.

For some reason, she wanted to take a guided tour of “the Boneyard.” As they say, one man’s trash is another’s treasure. She asked if she could have her withdrawal in chips. I told her we deal in officially traded currencies only.

She asked me to book her a room at Bugsy Sigel’s old haunt.

She mentioned stopping in Paris, New York, New York and somewhere with a circus. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

She mentioned that she was a fan of the 51s. I can’t fault her that. It was an amazing year for the Yankees.

She must have been confused, because she told me she was headed to “Hawaii’s ninth island.” I informed her that there are only eight.

She told me she was going swimming in the second largest city in Myanmar. Though come to think of it, there’s not a bay anywhere near there!

She told me she’d be riding the Manhattan Express. I’ve certainly never heard the MTA referred to by that name!

She told me that for her next project, she’s taking a page from Daniel Ocean’s book.

She was hoping to catch this year’s Mint 400. I asked her if she was going to ride a Vincent Black Shadow, but she didn’t get the reference.

She was in quite a rush to get to the tables.  I had to explain to her that the planes don’t actually land on the Strip!

She was looking forward to relaxing with a drink on Cleopatra’s Barge.

She’s doing it her way in the Rat Pack’s second home.

She’s never missed an episode of CSI.

She’s planning a tour of the city’s wedding chapels. Could be quite interesting, though I must admit gothic cathedrals are more to my taste.

She’s wandering around a park with an old stockade built by Latter-day Saints.

I couldn’t tell you much about her, but she did show an unusual interest in atomic testing.

I don’t even want to know where she was going in that outfit. She looked like an extra from “3000 Miles to Graceland.”

I hear she’s looking for proof of extraterrestrial life around Area 51.

I heard she’s headed for Sin City. Sure sounds like her kind of place.

I heard she’s taking driving lessons from Mario Andretti.

I imagine she’ll be spending most of her time on the floor. She’s hoping to bring down the house.

I overheard her telling someone to meet her under “the neon cowboy.” The one with the checkered shirt.

I recommended her a Chiuchow place there, off Spring Mountain Road. They make a mean BBQ pork!

I steered her in the direction of a neon horseshoe.

I suggested she have a look at the Hoover impound, but she said she couldn’t see what all the dam fuss was about.

I wonder if she’s a “Titanic” fan. She’s is in the best place outside Quebec to catch a performance of “My Heart Will Go On.”

I’d look for her off Fremont St. She’s hoping to get her “golden arm” into The Cal’s Hall of Fame.

I’d start by looking for her at the high rollers’ “twenty-one” tables. Unless, of course, they’ve already accused her of counting cards.

If she breaks the bank, she might spend a mint at the Miracle Mile.

If she can’t get her hand into any casino safes, she’ll make a good faith effort at swiping the largest golden nugget around.

If she’s playing at one of the city’s central casinos, you might actually find her in Paradise.

If she can keep a straight face, she may wee bluff her way into the World Series of Poker.

If she’s on a losing streak, she might head west and camp in a valley by some red rocks.

One thing about her did strike me as odd: She kept referring to her trip as a “savage journey to the heart of the American Dream.”

She asked me for a ticket to “bright light city.” I told her she’d have “a swingin’ time.”

She booked a room under the name of Raoul Duke, and demanded a suite be prepared for her attorney.

She’s off to Helldorado Days, boots, spurs, and all!

She’s taking advantage of the best Grand Canal gondola rides outside Venice.

She’s wandering around the Mojave Desert, hopefully with an extra canteen squirreled away!

There certainly wasn’t much here for your philistine friend. Her idea of high art is a trip to the Neon museum!

When I asked about her rhinestone jumpsuit, she explained she had an impromptu wedding to preside over.

Where she’s going, people tend to look the other way.  They say whatever happens there, stays there.

Word has it she’s traipsing around “the meadows.”

Word has it she stole a $5,000 pot from Scotty Nguyen!

You might find her at the top of the Stratosphere.

Your sticky-fingered friend has her sights on Mr. Showmanship’s candelabra collection.

San Diego, USA

He said he always wanted to eat at the "Table of Champions" at Lucha Libre Tacos.

I would look for him in a city named for Saint Didacus of Alcalá.

You might find her pretending to rob a stagecoach at the Wells Fargo Museum.

She might be lurking around Father Junipero Serra's first mission.

She said something about checking out a "frozen zoo"?

She told me she went to school in this city. UCSD, CSUSM, SDSU - they all kicked her out at least once.

The only thing I heard him say was that he wanted to see the giant panda at the zoo.

He mentioned he's going to SeaWorld, to look for the grave of the original Shamu.

I gave him directions to the largest model railroad museum in America. Well, the largest accredited one anyway.

Sure, I know where he went.  I hope you catch him, because he stole my complete set of "Simon & Simon" on VHS!

Sure, I know where she went.  I hope you catch her, because she stole my complete set of "Simon & Simon" on VHS!

He told me he was looking for a woman from Tehuantepec?

He was hoping to get in some Over-the-line. He's been practicing with his two teammates all year.

She's staying in the city where the Spirit of St. Louis was built.

The only thing I heard him say was that he wanted to see the giant panda at the zoo.

He told me he went to school in this city. UCSD, CSUSM, SDSU - they all kicked him out at least once.

He said something about checking out a "frozen zoo"?

You might find her taking his headshots and her favorite monologue to the Old Globe Theatre. But I'm not sure which of the three stages she's near.

You might find him taking his headshots and her favorite monologue to the Old Globe Theatre. But I'm not sure which of the three stages she's near.

You might find her taking her headshots and her favorite monologue to the Old Globe Theatre. But I'm not sure which of the three stages she's near.

She's staying in the city where the Spirit of St. Louis was built.

He's staying in the city where the Spirit of St. Louis was built.

He came here in a panic. He kept mumbling under his breath, "Please don't let me run into the Whaleys!"

She came here in a panic. She kept mumbling under his breath, "Please don't let me run into the Whaleys!"

He told me where he was staying - but when I told him he'd be down the street from one of the most haunted houses in the country, he thought twice.

She told me where she was staying - but when I told her she'd be down the street from one of the most haunted houses in the country, she thought twice.

He said something about checking out a "frozen zoo"?

She said something about checking out a "frozen zoo"?

She went to the west end of the old Jackass Mail route.

He went to the west end of the old Jackass Mail route.

All he said is he's going after Don VanHooser's badge.

All she said is she's going after Don VanHooser's badge.

She told me she was looking for a woman from Tehuantepec?

High on his list of things to see is an actual Fisher Space Pen. I told him of the museum where the one that saved the Apollo XI mission is.

High on his list of things to see is an actual Fisher Space Pen. I told her of the museum where the one that saved the Apollo XI mission is.

He was hoping to get in some Over-the-line. He's been practicing with his two teammates all year.

She was hoping to get in some Over-the-line. She's been practicing with his two teammates all year.

He asked if there was a museum where he could get one of Jackie Cochrane's flight suits for Halloween.

She asked if there was a museum where he could get one of Jackie Cochrane's flight suits for Halloween.

He was on the prowl for model dirigibles, for his replica of the first Led Zeppelin album.

She was on the prowl for model dirigibles, for her replica of the first Led Zeppelin album.

Seattle, USA

He said while he's in town, he'll try to slip Jonathan Poneman his band's new demo.
The city he's heading to is said to lie on seven hills, Palatine not being one of them.

She said while she's in town, she'll try to slip Jonathan Poneman his band's new demo.
The city she's heading to is said to lie on seven hills, Palatine not being one of them.

She's planning to purloin the original Frappuccino recipe.
She's staying somewhere in the Pacific Ring of Fire.

He's planning to purloin the original Frappuccino recipe.
He's staying somewhere in the Pacific Ring of Fire.

Personally, I'd look for her near the U.S.-Canada border.

Personally, I'd look for him near the U.S.-Canada border.

She came in here singing "Jet City Woman" at the top of her lungs. Either she's completely oblivious to her surroundings or she's a huge Geoff Tate fan.

He came in here singing "Jet City Woman" at the top of her lungs. Either he's completely oblivious to her surroundings or he's a huge Geoff Tate fan.

Honolulu, USA

Look for her by the Eternal Flame on Beretania Street.

You might catch her trying to blend in with the figures in Hockney's "L'Enfant de les Sortilèges."

I made him promise to bring me back a yellow hibiscus. I think that's the state flower.

I know he submitted his short films to the HIFF, and he wanted to have an up-close and personal conversation with the judges about why they all got rejected.

Look for her by the Eternal Flame on Beretania Street.

We were reminiscing about that old Bob Eubanks game show, the one where he sent people into the "Money Volcano"? In fact, I think she went to see if there was any money left there.

That tough gal? I think she's holed up in a volcanic tuff cone.

I know she submitted her short films to the HIFF, and she wanted to have an up-close and personal conversation with the judges about why they all got rejected.

She mentioned something about "seeing Shangri La"?

I know there's a fantastic collection of Islamic art that she wants to get her hands on.

I know there's a fantastic collection of Islamic art that he wants to get his hands on.

He said he's staying in FDR's "Western White House" while he supplements his Social Security.

You'll find him lurking around the only royal residence in the United States.

He said he's headed to the queen's old home at Washington Place.

He's lurking around the dwelling of the "royal hawk"?

He made a New Year's resolution to see Jack Lord's office and if possible, turn himself over to him.

He told me he'd be "down by the harbor, diving for pearls"?

She told me she'd be "down by the harbor, diving for pearls"?

He whispered something about a rendezvous by the statue of the "Father of Surfing."

I told him to wear native dress if he wants to blend in. Next time I saw him he was weighed down by lei and clad in a mu'umu'u.

He's probably blending in with the buskers at Aloha Tower Marketplace - at last he can put all those ukelele lessons to use!

I heard she went to the four Wizard Stones, looking for a miracle cure for a runny nose.

She said she always wanted to compete in the original Ironman Triathlon.

She's hiding in a pili grass-thatched house.  Please catch her before she breaks out her hot plate.

She's hiding in a costume of shredded fiber. Just stand nearby and listen for the rustling.

He's hiding in a costume of shredded fiber. Just stand nearby and listen for the rustling.

I only know that she's hiding in a museum. Which one? What, am I doing your job for you?

I only know that he's hiding in a museum. Which one? What, am I doing your job for you?

She whispered something about a rendezvous by the statue of the "Father of Surfing."

I know he's going to a maritime museum to get ideas for his next surfboard.

I know she's going to a maritime museum to get ideas for her next surfboard.

San Francisco, USA

She came by asking where she could get some early Grateful Dead LPs.

I heard your henchwoman was prowling around Leland Jr.'s school, trying to grab some blank diplomas.

I overheard her saying that she was going to transmit her codes back to HQ from Sutro Tower.

She did leave this gift certificate for a restaurant on Geary, in Japantown.

I heard a spy satellite saw the suspect flipping through the collected letters of Emperor Norton I.

I had trouble eavesdropping on his call, but I know he said that he was going to catch a game at the 'Stick.

I had trouble eavesdropping on her call, but I know she said that she was going to catch a game at the 'Stick.

She asked me if I had a recommendation: should she go through OAK or SJC?  I suggested she go to whichever was cheapest, but she told me money was no object!

She mentioned something about heading to the water to listen to a wave organ?

While you're in the city where she went, don't miss Frank's museum - it's the bomb.

She had this far-out look in her eyes. She said she was going to learn about new ways of "seeing".  What could I say but, "far out?"

I heard the local police spotted him ambling down the Embarcadero.

He left behind this gift certificate for the Pacific Pinball Museum.

He never brings change for the laundromat.  I'll bet he made a stop at Washerwoman's Lagoon.

He told me he was going to see a "seismic soccer team."

He dropped this handscrawled map of the Mission District with all the ATM machines checked off.

She said something about wanting to climb up the fire nozzle in Pioneer Park.

Here, in the trash I found this crumpled-up receipt for a 47 mile cab ride from San Jose - no tip.

She mentioned something about visiting the childhood home of Joe DiMaggio.

Sure, I know him. For my birthday he gave me this autographed photo of Robert Franklin Stroud, perched in his cell.

Isn't this the guy who almost got arrested for trying to steal a kid's ice cream in Bernal Heights Park?

I overheard her saying something about catching a matinee at a theater near Market and 17th Streets.

I overheard him saying something about catching a matinee at a theater near Market and 17th Streets.

You're in luck, I just got a text message from her.  It says, "I searched the whole de Young Museum, but they didn't have anything about Dennis!"

You're in luck, I just got a text message from him.  It says, "I searched the whole de Young Museum, but they didn't have anything about Dennis!"

He said something about trying to catch a Mission Blue Butterfly on the Twin Peaks.

She said something about trying to catch a Mission Blue Butterfly on the Twin Peaks.

I heard him say he was going to try to blend in with the tourists in Anchorage Square.

I heard her say she was going to try to blend in with the tourists in Anchorage Square.

I know where he went.  Rumor has it he was throwing fish-shaped laxatives to the seals out on the pier.

I know where she went.  Rumor has it she was throwing fish-shaped laxatives to the seals out on the pier.

He left behind this hockey puck with a Sharks logo printed on it.

She left behind this hockey puck with a Sharks logo printed on it.

Sure, I was giving him directions for the subway.  I told him to take the yellow line in from Pittsburg, and connect to the red line out to Richmond.

Sure, I was giving her directions for the subway.  I told her to take the yellow line in from Pittsburg, and connect to the red line out to Richmond.

I think he was headed somewhere in the Tenderloin.

I think she was headed somewhere in the Tenderloin.

You're looking for a Pacific city named after St. Francis of Assissi.

I know he was planning to make a stealthy landing at Crissy Field, before I told him it wasn't an airfield anymore.

I know she was planning to make a stealthy landing at Crissy Field, before I told her it wasn't an airfield anymore.

You're in luck, I just got a text message from him.  It says, "I searched the whole de Young Museum, but they didn't have anything about Dennis!"

You're in luck, I just got a text message from her.  It says, "I searched the whole de Young Museum, but they didn't have anything about Dennis!"

I heard he was so filthy from his flight, he stopped to freshen up at the James Lick Baths.

I heard she was so filthy from his flight, she stopped to freshen up at the James Lick Baths.

You know, he mentioned something about buying an expo pass to the Henchman Convention at the Moscone Center

You know, she mentioned something about buying an expo pass to the Henchman Convention at the Moscone Center

San Diego, USA

You know, I noticed he was carrying a stack of Ken Kuhlken novels for her flight.

He told me he went to school in this city. UCSD, CSUSM, SDSU - they all kicked him out at least once.

You know, I noticed she was carrying a stack of Ken Kuhlken novels for her flight.

She told me she went to school in this city. UCSD, CSUSM, SDSU - they all kicked her out at least once.

Calgary, Canada

He told me he was going way downtown with Gary Burns.

Word has it he went there to pocket the Emerald Stone. If he can accommodate 162 suites and two penthouses, he must have one mighty large pocket!

She told me she was going way downtown with Gary Burns.

Word has it she went there to pocket the Emerald Stone. If she can accommodate 162 suites and two penthouses, she must have one mighty large pocket!

A little bird told me she was heading to Inglewood for the yellow-rumped warbler migration.
I certainly hope she'll be able to see the philharmonic. The Jack Singer hall is simply gorgeous!

A little bird told me he was heading to Inglewood for the yellow-rumped warbler migration.
I certainly hope he'll be able to see the philharmonic. The Jack Singer hall is simply gorgeous!

He let it slip that he's a huge fan of a feisty local singer.

She let it slip that she's a huge fan of a feisty local singer.

He's snooping around CPR headquarters. And for the record, it's not because of any interest in learning cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

She's snooping around CPR headquarters. And for the record, it's not because of any interest in learning cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

…. a replica of a Hudson's Bay Company fur trading fort…

Ottawa, Canada

She got in trouble trying to light a cigarette with the Centennial Flame.

I heard she's fixing bets on toboggans at Green's Creek.

I hear she was almost attacked in a plaza by a gigantic bronze spider that towered over her head!

She said she was going to the Rideau Street Chapel. But I thought they demolished it years ago?

She's probably at the Central Experimental Farm, looking for a two-headed cow.

She was going to check if she's too old to join the Royal Canadian Air Cadets.

I bet her she couldn't skate all the way there from Kingston on the Rideau Canal.

She's staying by the Notre Dame cathedral. Which Notre Dame cathedral? Hmm, she didn't mention that when I was eavesdropping …

I panicked when I heard - she wants to steal one of Joseph Casavant's organs! You'll save Joseph, right?

She was spotted running from the mounties in the National Capital Region.

He was spotted running from the mounties in the National Capital Region.

While he's there, I suggested he pay his respects by the Book of Remembrance.

He's meeting someone by a peaceful tower whose carillon boasts 53 bells.

She's meeting someone by a peaceful tower whose carillon boasts 53 bells.

I bet him he couldn't skate all the way there from Kingston on the Rideau Canal.

I heard she's having tea at a Prime Minister's summer retreat.

She barked on the phone, "Meet me by the stones of two Houses of Parliament!"

You know, Queen Victoria selected the city she's in to be the country's capital.

I joked that she should try to speak with King's mother at the tearoom.

I heard he wants to fiddle with the Morse Code decoder outside the war museum.

He said he's in a little hamlet named Blackburn?

I suggested she stay at the hostel at Nicholas Gaol, but the idea of sleeping in a prison made her nervous.

I suggested he stay at the hostel at Nicholas Gaol, but the idea of sleeping in a prison made him nervous.

She was going to check if she's too old to join the Royal Canadian Air Cadets.

He was going to check if he's too old to join the Royal Canadian Air Cadets.

He told me she was headed to Bytown and I said he's too late--they changed the name years ago.

She doesn't have much time, but she was going to fly by the Canadian Aviation and Space Museum.

He doesn't have much time, but he was going to fly by the Canadian Aviation and Space Museum.

She was last spotted outside the city at the Upper Canada Migratory Bird Sanctuary. She was asking the staff how they keep the collection from leaving every year.

He was last spotted outside the city at the Upper Canada Migratory Bird Sanctuary. He was asking the staff how they keep the collection from leaving every year.

She told me she has an irresistable urge to lick the most precious postage stamp at the museum in Gatineau. See that she gets help, okay?

He told me he has an irresistable urge to lick the most precious postage stamp at the museum in Gatineau. See that he gets help, okay?

Toronto, Canada

An uncle of a niece of a friend of mine said he saw your perp at the SkyDome, begging them to let him open the roof.

I heard your suspect listening to Rush. If you're a real Rush fan, you know what "YYZ" means.

He might be scoping out Casa Loma, that mansion up above The Annex.

You might find him prowling around the Korean art at the ROM.

We got into a big argument over whether William Gibson ever lived in Gibson House. I'm sure he didn't - but technically, he could have lived near there.

All I know is, you might find her in a park with a waterfall.

Is your suspect diabetic? I was desperately asked where insulin was discovered.

It was strange - I was eavesdropping, er, overhearing what your suspect was saying, and she mentioned going to a garden in the clouds?

It was strange - I was eavesdropping, er, overhearing what your suspect was saying, and he mentioned going to a garden in the clouds?

Your suspect's hiding out in a park. But not just any park - this one won a Governor General's Award.

You might find him scalping tickets outside the Shaw Festival.

I saw this guy. He didn't say where he was going, but he mentioned he was going to a football game - "pads and tackle" football, not "why can't I use my hands?" football.

Yes, he passed right by here a minute ago. He said something about "going to watch the argonauts"?

He just texted me, and he sounds scared. "The drivers here are so bad they're crashing into the buildings. Look, here's a news truck hanging halfway up a building!"

You know your perp's a giant sports fan.  In fact, he told me he was going to pay his respects at the grave of the man who first said, "He shoots, he scores!"

She darted north off Dundas into Kensington market, and she hid from the police in a yard filled with tie-dyed t-shirts.

You might find her prowling around the Korean art at the ROM.

I think you should look where "Strange Brew" was filmed, because your suspect kept calling me a "hoser."

Where did she go … she mentioned something about going to look for old Glenn Gould records.

I would start at the east end of Canada's longest transcontentinal rail route.  If you don't see her there?  Keep heading west.

I would start at the east end of Canada's longest transcontentinal rail route.  If you don't see him there?  Keep heading west.

I know this doesn't narrow it down much, but your perp said something about hiding in a city on the Great Lakes.

He made a reference to a city named York - although he said that's not what they call it today.

She made a reference to a city named York - although she said that's not what they call it today.

I heard they spotted him coming out of the Black Creek Pioneer Village, wearing period dress.

I heard they spotted her coming out of the Black Creek Pioneer Village, wearing period dress.

I heard that he was lost for three straight days in Honest Ed's.

I heard that she was lost for three straight days in Honest Ed's.

Quebec, Canada

He went to a very civilized city to see their Museum of Civilization.

I suggested he spend a night at the Ice Hotel, or "Hôtel de Glace," but he told me he hates a cold floor in the mornings.

I leant him some Roger Lemelin books for his trip.

He's staying in quaint farmhouse on the place they used to call Île de Bascuz.

I suggested she give "Les Anciens Canadiens" a read. She told me she got arthritis just thinking about it.

If she's low on loonies, she said she'll try to stay in the old army barracks in the park.

So she was telling me that in the city, there's a Foundry, with a model of the city.

He was griping about having to climb the "neck-breaking" steps.

Here's the joke I told him: So Churchill, Roosevelt, and William Lyon Mackenzie King walk into a Citadel …

Here's the joke I told her: So Churchill, Roosevelt, and William Lyon Mackenzie King walk into a Citadel …

He said he's staying near "the falls" - but that's all I overheard.

He packed a waterproof poncho and mumbled something about a meeting at Montmorency.

He's staying in quaint farmhouse on the place they used to call Île de Bascuz.

I bet him she couldn't find the fossils inside Église St-Roch.

She's probably keeping watch in Martello Tower 1. Or was it Tower 2?

He's probably hiding in the only walled city in North America.

He was planning a rendezvous at the Monument of Faith on the old parade grounds.

She was planning a rendezvous at the Monument of Faith on the old parade grounds.

I heard her on the phone: "Wait by the statue of Louis Hébert. I'll be hiding behind Marie Rollet."

He's headed for a museum in a fire station. But that's all I caught from my eavesdropping.

She's headed for a museum in a fire station. But that's all I caught from my eavesdropping.

She's probably sipping Caribou just up the cliff from the St. Lawrence River.

He's probably sipping Caribou just up the cliff from the St. Lawrence River.

I know she wants to ride an ice slide on the boardwalk?

I know he wants to ride an ice slide on the boardwalk?

What an odd picture she sent me - there's Lara Fabian and Roch Voisine, but what are they doing there with Winston Churchill?

He said something looking for an "ex machina?"

She said something looking for an "ex machina?"

I know he wants to ride an ice slide on the boardwalk?

You might find him looking for old Félix Leclerc records.

I know she wants to ride an ice slide on the boardwalk?

You might find her looking for old Félix Leclerc records.

Lima, Peru

She's going to an arms museum that's sitting on top of a gold museum. I assume the locals protect the one with the other?

She said she was going to a ceramics museum.  I didn't know why, until she told me about the "adult" section.

She's after a weaving that boasts almost 400 threads to the inch - just the thing to snuggle in on a cold Andean night.

She's outside an electricity museum, trying to make off with their tram.

She mentioned something about going to "Barranco." Is she jumping in a ravine?

She's holed up in Miraflores, by a beach on the Pacific.

La Catedral has been hit by earthquake after earthquake over the centuries, and it's still standing. I told her to swing by for good luck.

I told her she could get a fair view from the top of the "sugar loaf," but she said she's allergic to adobe.

I'll tell you where she went, but just be careful not to bother the mummies. They're not afraid to scold you.

She had a rendezvous at a huaca - that's all I know.

He could be keeping lookout by the cross on Cerro San Cristóbal.

He's probably lurking around in the vault at the Museo del Banco Central de Reserva.

He's probably lurking outside the Palacio de Gobierno.

She might try to join a crew at the Yacht Club Peruano, so she can leave the city in style.

I'm pretty sure she's flying into the airport in Callao - not first class or coach class, but maybe baggage class.

I heard she has a rendezvous at a "temple of the sun." Does that narrow it down?

I heard her whisper into her phone, "Meet me in the plaza, by the statue of Pizarro on horseback."

She's posing as an archeologist. Look for her in the House of the Chosen Women.

I heard him whisper into his phone, "Meet me in the plaza, by the statue of Pizarro on horseback."

He texted to tell me he just saw the Lord of the Miracles coming down the street!

He wants to try the surf at La Herradura, but I doubt he's ready.

He texted to tell me he just saw the Lord of the Miracles coming down the street!

She always brags that she's a cricket savant. I'll bet she'll try out at the club in Magdalena.

He always brags that he's a cricket savant. I'll bet he'll try out at the club in Magdalena.

She did stroll by humming Chabuca Granda's "El Puente de los Suspiros."

He did stroll by humming Chabuca Granda's "El Puente de los Suspiros."

He texted to tell me he just saw the Lord of the Miracles coming down the street!

La Catedral has been hit by earthquake after earthquake over the centuries, and it's still standing. I told him to swing by for good luck.

Look at the photo she sent me - it's a statue of a woman with a llama on her head!

Look at the photo he sent me - it's a statue of a woman with a llama on her head!

He did stroll by humming Chabuca Granda's "El Puente de los Suspiros."

She did stroll by humming Chabuca Granda's "El Puente de los Suspiros."

If he's in town on January 18, you'll probably find him swept up celebrating the city's anniversary.

He told me he wanted to leave a flower on the tomb of Saint Rose, but he couldn't decide what kind.

If she's in town on January 18, you'll probably find her swept up celebrating the city's anniversary.

She told me she wanted to leave a flower on the tomb of Saint Rose, but she couldn't decide what kind.

Quito, Ecuador

He said he's staying at a "really classy joint" up the hill from Guápulo.

He caught a bus to the capital - but I don't know if he came south from Colombia or north from Peru.

I'll bet she caught a boat to Quayaquil and then hitched her way northeast to the capital.

Here, look at this photo of his "Atlas" impersonation. It looks like he's holding up that big brass globe on the monument.

He wants to straddle the center of the world.

If he needs to get out of town, he might hike up the volcano. You could find him on either "Child" or "Old Person."

I only know that he's headed near San Antonio.

She told someone to meet her at a sculpture of Jesus that's carved into a tree?

She told me she wants to take lasso lessons from an authentic chagra.  Somehow before this is over I'm guessing she'll be the one who's hogtied.

She said she'd blend in with the quiteños, but with her accent I'm sure she'll stick out.

I told her if she needs to go to ground, she should book a room at Alvaro's caves.

She could be lurking around the Monastery of San Diego. Or was it the Monastery of San Francisco? No, that's a different part of town.

She asked a lot of questions about where to find a few works by Manuel Chili.

He asked a lot of questions about where to find a few works by Manuel Chili.

I told him if he needs to set his watch, he could swing by the solar chronometer at the Museo Solar Inti Ñan.

He was practicing his monologue so he could angle for an audition at the Teatro Sucre.

Your friend there is a big fan of János "Blind" Bottyán. What Bottyán lacked in depth perception, he brought in sheer guts.

He might be keeping lookout from the oldest observatory in South America. Well, the oldest one of modern times anyway.

He told me he wants to take lasso lessons from an authentic chagra.  Somehow before this is over I'm guessing he'll be the one who's hogtied.

He might try to camp at the Reserva Geobotánica Pululahua.

She might try to camp at the Reserva Geobotánica Pululahua.

Panama City, Panama

She was coming into town via the Muelle Fiscal.

Go straight to Plaza Cinco de Mayo.  Look for the shiftiest character who isn't in Congress.

Look for her on a shoplifting spree along Avenida Central, by the Parque Santa Ana.

She's meeting somebody at the Parque Bolívar - but which Parque Bolívar?

You'll find her standing by a park, outside the Iglesia de San Francisco.

Yeah, I know where she went. That town rocks! Remember that sick show they had outside the Vatican Embassy?

Oh yeah, I know her type.  Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue. Model citizen, zero discipline.

She's in Central America, right by a waterway between the Pacific and the Atlantic.

I told her the name of a café in the neighborhood of La Exposición where she could get the best seco in town.

He told me he had a plan.

He was whispering, so I might have misheard - but I think he had a lock for some guy named Pedro Miguel.

He's sailing through a canal. But where?

She wanted to rent a boat, but she said it could be no bigger than 950 feet long and 106 feet wide.

She said she's leaving the city to sail to an "island of flowers"?

She told me she had a plan.

She had to see a man.

She's sailing through a canal. But which one?

She's on an island whose name means "many fish." Maybe she's fishing?

I know where she went. We were just talking about the famous flat arch - and how it got a whole lot flatter in 2003.

Here, she dropped this photo of a siege of herons outside the President's palace.

Here, he dropped this photo of a siege of herons outside the President's palace.

She was whispering, so I might have misheard - but I think she had a lock for some guy named Pedro Miguel.

She wanted to rent a boat, but she said it could be no bigger than 950 feet long and 106 feet wide.

He could be picking up knick-knacks at the National Artisans Market, by the ruins of the old city.

He told me he wanted to follow in the strokes of Richard Halliburton.  So I leant him 36 cents and wished him godspeed.

She told me she wanted to follow in the strokes of Richard Halliburton.  So I lent her 36 cents and wished her godspeed.

You might find her brushing up on her Kuna dances at Mi Pueblito.

He's headed to the old Santo Domingo convent, to scour a museum of religious art.

She was last seen dashing along the Titi Monkey Trail!

She told me she wants to hit the Interoceanic Canal Museum, and learn how to open locks.

He told me he wants to hit the Interoceanic Canal Museum, and learn how to open locks.

He planned to sneak in through the Gaillard Cut.

She planned to sneak in through the Gaillard Cut.

I know where he went. We were just talking about the famous flat arch - and how it got a whole lot flatter in 2003.

I know where she went. We were just talking about the famous flat arch - and how it got a whole lot flatter in 2003.

She said she's looking for an altar made entirely of gold.
She bragged that Henry Morgan may have missed this treasure-but she wouldn't.
Though it's seen better days, she really wanted to visit the Club de Clases y Tropas.

He said he's looking for an altar made entirely of gold.
He bragged that Henry Morgan may have missed this treasure-but he wouldn't.
Though it's seen better days, he really wanted to visit the Club de Clases y Tropas.

Havana, Cuba

She dropped this photo of a building that looks like the Capitol in Washington, but it's too tall. And everyone smoking Cuban cigars.

You'll find her at a cathedral where Christopher Columbus once slept. And I'm talking about the big sleep.

She's planning a rendezvous in a place called Cathedral Square.

He's standing somewhere along Calle Enna. You won't be able to miss him.

I told him if he gets a chance, he has to catch a concert at the Plaza de San Francisco.

You'll find him at a cathedral where Christopher Columbus once slept. And I'm talking about the big sleep.

He was planning a rendezvous at the giant statue of Christ by Casablanca.

She was planning a rendezvous at the giant statue of Christ by Casablanca.

I told him if he gets a chance, he has to catch a concert at the Plaza de San Francisco.

He's planning a rendezvous in a place called Cathedral Square.

Here, she sent me a postcard from a lovely fisherman's village. Not much to see in the picture though - just the old man and the sea.

She mentioned she was looking for a really good virgin daiquiri.

I told her not to forget to go out to the back yard and see Granma.

Here, she dropped a photo of a wax figure in camo. I could swear I've seen him on a dorm room wall somewhere.

You could catch her prowling along the bishop's street.

Here, look at this postcard your suspect dropped. It's a bronze weathervane with a beautiful woman holding a cross and an olive branch. Where would you find something like that?

Take a look - here's a photo where he's sitting on a bench by a sculpture of John Lennon. But where are Lennon's glasses?

I told her she could find a 25-carat diamond just lying on the floor of the Capitol. Of course, I didn't tell her it was a replica.

I heard her plan a rendezvous by the Monument to the Victims of the Maine.

She told me she was getting tired of poking around museums, but that this one sounded pretty radical.

He told me he was getting tired of poking around museums, but that this one sounded pretty radical.

He mentioned something about picking up a full set of Suchel. No idea what he was talking about, but it smells like trouble.

She mentioned something about picking up a full set of Suchel. No idea what she was talking about, but it smells like trouble.

He did say he was going to be looking around a perfume museum. I wonder if they let you open the bottles?

She did say she was going to be looking around a perfume museum. I wonder if they let you open the bottles?

She mentioned she loves cars.  I told her where she could check out Che Guevara's old Chevy.

He mentioned he loves cars.  I told him where he could check out Che Guevara's old Chevy.

Mexico City, Mexico

Rumor has it she's crashing on-campus at Latin America's largest university.

My sources tell me that your henchwoman's hiding just outside the city, in San Ángel.

I overheard her on his phone, telling someone to meet her at Ángel de la Independencia and to bring lockpicks, gloves, "and some other thief stuff."

I heard your suspect talking about a zoo that has the only giant pandas to be born in captivity outside of China. Maybe it's something in the water, or the air.

You know, if you look out east of the city you'll see four peaks that are supposed to resemble a woman lying on her back.

You know, I did overhear him mention something about a pair of volcanoes that are named after starcrossed lovers.

Rumor has it the police almost caught him darting through the stalls at the Mercado de Antiguëdades de Cuauhtemoc.

Your suspect had a Jack Kerouac poem in 242 "choruses" that was named it for this city.

Did you know your target was a dyed-in-the-wool student radical? That was a while ago, but I think she still likes to prowl around the Leon Trotsky's old haunts.

Here, check out the message in this fortune cookie. It says, "You are going to a city in Central America." I think it's for you?

I would start looking for your friend at the Aztec sites in the Zócalo, in the Centro Histórico.

He was last spotted driving down the Paseo de la Reforma through Santa Fe.

I only overheard this: he's headed to an ancient Temple, to check out a massive stone relief.  But I don't know what's on it or where it is.

He mentioned something about scoping out a museum that curves around like a snail, and ends with a replica of the country's constitution. I dunno - why would you bother stealing a replica?

She mentioned something about scoping out a museum that curves around like a snail, and ends with a replica of the country's constitution. I dunno - why would you bother stealing a replica?

He didn't say much when he passed through here - only that he was going to see a woman whose face was painted with bells.

She didn't say much when she passed through here - only that she was going to see a woman whose face was painted with bells.

I know he was looking for a major artifact of the Mesoamerican period, but what and where, I'm not sure.

She was last spotted driving down the Paseo de la Reforma through Santa Fe.

I heard they spotted her picking at the Diego Rivera murals in the Palacio Nacional, to see if they might just peel off.

You may not know this, but she's a sucker for opera. You might find her checking out the conservatory where Plácido Domingo studied.

I heard she's headed to the cathedral that's across from the palace, to scope out its stupendous altar.

You know, as she passed by she mentioned something about visiting "the golden cave." But when I suggested she take a flashlight, she laughed at me.

You know, as he passed by he mentioned something about visiting "the golden cave." But when I suggested he take a flashlight, he laughed at me.

He mentioned he wanted to check out Helvia Martínez Verdayes's most famous modeling gig. I didn't know he was into fashion?

I heard him mention something about a castle at the grasshopper's hill?

I heard her mention something about a castle at the grasshopper's hill?

I would expect him to flee by bus, maybe out of Terminal Norte.

I heard he was going to pose as the fourth chair violinist in the Minería Symphony Orchestra.

I told her that Popocatépetl would make a great climb and a great hide-out, but she just kept asking, "What if it goes off?"

I understand she has a safehouse at the Torre Latinoamericana - a good pick, since it's already survived two major earthquakes.

She mentioned she wanted to check out Helvia Martínez Verdayes's most famous modeling gig. I didn't know she was into fashion?

I only overheard this: he's headed to an ancient Temple, to check out a massive stone relief.  But I don't know what's on it or where it is.

I only overheard this: she's headed to an ancient Temple, to check out a massive stone relief.  But I don't know what's on it or where it is.

He's an art fan, so I'm sure he's going to stop by the Blue House at one point or another.

He didn't say much when he passed through here - only that he was going to see a woman whose face was painted with bells.

I know he was looking for a major artifact of the Mesoamerican period, but what and where, I'm not sure.

She's an art fan, so I'm sure she's going to stop by the Blue House at one point or another.

I know she was looking for a major artifact of the Mesoamerican period, but what and where, I'm not sure.

Let's see, where is he - oh, I've been to this city. I met my first love on the Montaña Rusa at the La Feria Chapultepec Mágico. Things between us have been up and down ever since!

Let's see, where is she - oh, I've been to this city. I met my first love on the Montaña Rusa at the La Feria Chapultepec Mágico. Things between us have been up and down ever since!

I'll bet you'll find him hopelessly lost down in the "floating gardens" of  Xochimilco.

I'll bet you'll find her hopelessly lost down in the "floating gardens" of  Xochimilco.

The Rockefellers destroyed the original, but your perp was going to see Rivera's recreation of his mural "El Hombre, Controlador del Universo." So maybe you can catch your suspect at the Bellas Artes.

I heard he's hiding out in the borough of Álvaro Obregón.

I heard she's hiding out in the borough of Álvaro Obregón.

I heard he was going to watch the Red Devils play at Foro Sol.

I heard she was going to watch the Red Devils play at Foro Sol.

I know he had his eye on the Rufino Tamayo mural in the Museo Nacional de las Culturas.

I know she had her eye on the Rufino Tamayo mural in the Museo Nacional de las Culturas.

Your suspect is off blending in with the capitalinos, while you're wasting time talking to me? Start hoofing it! 
The suspect you're after is quite lazy. I heard he's scouring the Ciudadela for crafts, which he plans to pass off as stolen treasures. 

The suspect you're after is quite lazy. I heard she's scouring the Ciudadela for crafts, which she plans to pass off as stolen treasures. 

Buenos Aires, Argentina

She was carrying a one-country list of countries that stood up to Margaret Thatcher.  I know I would've surrendered.

I know she was heading for a capital city of a country that translates, roughly, to "Silverish."

She was headed to the site of the National Reorganization Process.  Like her, I too wonder if they ever reorganized it!

She was excited to cruise down Avenida General Paz. I hope she gets stuck in traffic.

Out of all the countries in South America, she seemed most interested in the Southwest.

She said where she was going, there was literally a river of silver!

He couldn't wait to eat parrillada like a porteño. I couldn't wait for her to leave.

He wasn't coy about wanting to visit the biggest city near Chivilcoy.

She seemed interested in all kinds of canes, be they sugar, elderly walking-aids, or holders of the NCAA's home winning streak record.

She was headed for the black market near the Plaza de Mayo.  Probably looking to make a bootleg sandwich.

She said she was going someplace first settled by the Spanish. After they conquered the people who were already there, of course.

I overheard her plotting to pull a heist in the Bencich Building.

He was headed for a land with a blue and white flag that had a sun on it.  He'll see a lot of them in the capitol.

He said if he couldn't score tickets to see this country's national football team play, things would get Messi.

She said if she couldn't score tickets to see this country's national football team play, things would get Messi.

All I know is, the country started with "A."  But she did say she was going to its capital. So I guess THAT's actually all I know.

One minute she was here, the next? Desaparecida.

She wanted to go to a country with penguins.  Preferably Spanish-speaking ones.

She seemed really interested in the capitols of countries that had banking crises between 1999 and 2002.  How morbid! And specific!

She had some interesting questions for me about a dead language called Cocoliche.

He said where he was going, there was literally a river of silver!

He was carrying a one-country list of countries that stood up to Margaret Thatcher.  I know I would've surrendered.

He said he knew of a cafe on Florida Street that sold the best empanadas.

She said he knew of a cafe on Florida Street that sold the best empanadas.

He asked for advice on getting closer to Uruguay.  I told him the most important thing was to share his feelings.

She asked for advice on getting closer to Uruguay.  I told her the most important thing was to share her feelings.

He bragged that he didn't need to do laundry, because he was headed to the site of the Dirty War.  I told him that was really inappropriate.

She bragged that she didn't need to do laundry, because she was headed to the site of the Dirty War.  I told her that was really inappropriate.

He was very interested in the bit about the British Clock Tower in our exhibit on the Falklands War.

She was very interested in the bit about the British Clock Tower in our exhibit on the Falklands War.

She was headed for a land with a blue and white flag that had a sun on it.  She'll see a lot of them in the capitol.

He was headed for a land with a blue and white flag that had a sun on it.  He'll see a lot of them in the capitol.

Santiago, Chile

He's paying tribute to a city named for Saint James and Extremadura. 

He was upfront about the fact that he's seen every episode of Alguien te mira, but I still don't trust a man who takes his travel tips from telenovelas. 

She's paying tribute to a city named for Saint James and Extremadura. 

She was upfront about the fact that she's seen every episode of Alguien te mira, but I still don't trust a woman who takes her travel tips from telenovelas. 

He probably won't be too chilly when he arrives in the capital. 

Well, he left here with a book of poetry--or perhaps I should say a book of anti-poetry.

She probably won't be too chilly when she arrives in the capital. 
Well, she left here with a book of poetry--or perhaps I should say a book of anti-poetry.

She's probably downtown, climbing a "small, rocky hill" to get the view Charles Darwin wrote home about.

He's probably downtown, climbing a "small, rocky hill" to get the view Charles Darwin wrote home about.

She told me "love is the mystery of water and a star." Of course she also told me her name was Neruda, and I'm pretty sure she pilfered that from someone else.

He told me "love is the mystery of water and a star." Of course he also told me his name was Neruda, and I'm pretty sure he pilfered that from someone else.

He was looking around for a summer palace there. I told him perhaps he should consider a different season. 
He's admiring the work of Carlo Rossi, and I don't mean the kind that comes in a jug. 
I'll bet he's taking advantage of South America's largest, most expensive metro system. 
He's paying tribute to a city named for Saint James and Extremadura. 

She was looking around for a summer palace there. I told her perhaps she should consider a different season. 
She's admiring the work of Carlo Rossi, and I don't mean the kind that comes in a jug. 
I'll bet she's taking advantage of South America's largest, most expensive metro system. 
She's paying tribute to a city named for Saint James and Extremadura. 

I'm almost positive she was going to Manhattan--or could she have said Sanhattan?
She might be outside the city riding with the huasos. 

I'm almost positive he was going to Manhattan--or could he have said Sanhattan?
He might be outside the city riding with the huasos. 

I can tell you she's catching up on the news there already. She left this copy of La Tercera in her room.

She was hoping to blend in, but with her attitude she'll never jibe with the sanguine santiaguinos.

I can tell you he's catching up on the news there already. He left this copy of La Tercera in her room.

He was hoping to blend in, but with his attitude he'll never jibe with the sanguine santiaguinos.

I'd look for him in Salvador Allende's museum.