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come across clues which are not on my list, can you please put them in the
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gender words like he, she, him, her, etc and just search for key words like
“Chick-bone Hill” or “Hobbit House”.
Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
I
overheard her telling an associate to meet her in front of the Pineapple
Building. She might be trying to squat there.
The city she's staying in may be named for Admiral Sir Fairfax, but his daughters spotted it first.
She told me the capital was for the birds. She's probably closer to the area where the BBC shot Attenborough in Paradise.
She might be visiting the shops in the Burns Philips Building. She lit up when I told her it survived a Japanese bombing.
The city she's staying in may be named for Admiral Sir Fairfax, but his daughters spotted it first.
She told me the capital was for the birds. She's probably closer to the area where the BBC shot Attenborough in Paradise.
She might be visiting the shops in the Burns Philips Building. She lit up when I told her it survived a Japanese bombing.
He told me
the capital was for the birds. He's probably closer to the area where the BBC
shot Attenborough in Paradise.
He might be visiting the shops in the Burns Philips Building. He lit up when I told her it survived a Japanese bombing.
He might be visiting the shops in the Burns Philips Building. He lit up when I told her it survived a Japanese bombing.
Sao Paulo,
Brazil
He said something about visiting a metropolis
on the Serra do Mar.
She said something about visiting a metropolis
on the Serra do Mar.
He mentioned that an Italian gallery owner
helped found the museum. That narrows it down, right?
He said something about stopping by Brooklin
to speak with his broker.
She said something about stopping by Brooklin
to speak with her broker.
I know he was searching for something
connected to Van Gogh's student.
All I heard is that he's headed to an art
museum that's just off the street.
She told me that while she was there, she was
going to visit Teimoso at the zoo. She said her parents never let her have a
caiman growing up and, well, look how she turned out.
He told me that while he was there, he was
going to visit Teimoso at the zoo. He said his parents never let him have a
caiman growing up and, well, look how he turned out.
Here, look at this picture. She thought she'd
scored a piece by Otavio and Gustavo, but it turns out it's just a gang tag.
Here, look at this picture. He thought he'd
scored a piece by Otavio and Gustavo, but it turns out it's just a gang tag.
He's a total plane nut. He mentioned he'd be
going down to the park to see the air force museum.
He said something about visiting a metropolis
on the Serra do Mar.
He said he was going to a park designed by
Roberto Burle Marx. But that could be
anywhere.
A friend of a cousin of a nephew of mine
caught him lurking past Brecheret's flag monument.
A friend of a cousin of a nephew of mine
caught her lurking past Brecheret's flag monument.
Here, he posted on Facebook that he's holed up
in a neighborhood that the Tupis would call "little snake."
Here, she posted on Facebook that she's holed
up in a neighborhood that the Tupis would call "little snake."
I did see her walking by, reading a copy of Bá
and Moon's "Daytripper."
I did see him walking by, reading a copy of Bá
and Moon's "Daytripper."
Rio de
Janeiro, Brazil
Here, I got this postcard from him. It says,
"So this is the Copacabana? I swear Manilow said it was somewhere
else."
Here, I got this postcard from her. It says,
"So this is the Copacabana? I swear Manilow said it was somewhere
else."
He told me Ipanema wasn't rich enough for him.
I told him to try Leblon.
Oh, he's a lucky henchman to get sent there. I
know this girl on the beach - when she walks she's like a samba that swings so cool
and sways so gentle.
Oh, she's a lucky henchwwoman to get sent
there. I know this girl on the beach - when she walks she's like a samba that
swings so cool and sways so gentle.
He mentioned he was going to Rua Pedro Lessa
to look for the latest Funk Carioca mixtapes.
She mentioned he was going to Rua Pedro Lessa
to look for the latest Funk Carioca mixtapes.
Last I saw him, he was packing a book by
Machado de Assis, as well as a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Grand
Larcenist's Soul."
Last I saw her, she was packing a book by
Machado de Assis, as well as a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Grand
Larcenist's Soul."
Your friend is probably up in Santa Teresa, in
Ronnie Biggs' old hiding place.
He said he was going to look for old vinyl by
some band called Os Mutantes.
She said he was going to look for old vinyl by
some band called Os Mutantes.
He was just telling me his favorite band
recorded "Bread and Circuses" - though I think that's a translation.
He definitely said he was going to the Formula
One Grand Prix. Well, a Formula One Grand Prix.
A friend of mine saw him trying to kayak the
Tietê River. His paddle appeared to be melting.
I heard him on the phone saying something
about a close scrape at Laranjinha.
She was just telling me his favorite band
recorded "Bread and Circuses" - though I think that's a translation.
She definitely said he was going to the
Formula One Grand Prix. Well, a Formula One Grand Prix.
A friend of mine saw her trying to kayak the
Tietê River. Her paddle appeared to be melting.
I heard her on the phone saying something
about a close scrape at Laranjinha.
You might find her at Burle Marx's park, right
by the bay.
She was headed to the Gávea district to
recruit some university students. Apparently recruitment is a big part of her
annual goals.
She told me she was going to see a statue that
was struck by lightning in 2008. "Not to be sacrilegious," she said,
"but what a sight that must've been!"
She mentioned she was heading to one of the
New Seven Wonders of the World.
I heard she made a dashing escape, dangling
from the bottom of the bondinho and then jumping off at the summit!
You know, your friend did say something about
attending a marriage at a chapel in the base of some statue. She said it was quite an honor!
He mentioned he was going to blend in with the
backpackers in Catete.
I'm not sure exactly where he went, but I did
get this collect call from Mata Machado.
If my guess is right, he went to the city with
the world's largest urban forest.
He said something about a rendezvous at the
Quinta, near the old imperial palace.
He mentioned he'd be killing time in
Cinelândia, while he awaited further instructions.
Your friend told me she was headed up the
mountain in Urca just to enjoy the view. But she was carrying a rather
high-powered spy telescope.
She said she might take a ferry out to Ilha de
Paquetá. If you catch a faster ferry, you could beat her there.
He said she might take a ferry out to Ilha de
Paquetá. If you catch a faster ferry, you could beat him there.
She stopped through the city, but last I
heard, she decided to hole up across the bay at Niterói.
Bogotá,
Colombia
The town she's in used to go by the name
Bacatá.
You might catch her at Expoartesanías, trying
to sell her charcoal sketches of the inside of a prison cell.
She's at a city whose motto goes, "2600
meters closer to the stars." La Paz is closer, though.
She dropped a photo of the peaks of Mt.
Monserrate and Mt. Guadalupe.
He said something about heading south to see a
five-colored river?
I suggested he check out the national musuem,
but he balked - he told me he makes a habit of steering clear of prisons.
I just know he's meeting someone at a history
museum, in a colonial house by a plaza.
He said something about going to a museum to
see Pablo Escobar's jacket?
I found a torn-off piece of his "to
do" list. Look at this line: "Museum - July 20." What's he doing
on that day?
I told her if she's hungry, she'll
find something in the Zona G.
I found a torn-off piece of her "to
do" list. Look at this line: "Museum - July 20." What's she
doing on that day?
I just know she's meeting someone at a history
museum, in a colonial house by a plaza.
He just walked by here humming the city's
anthem - you know, the one penned by Avendaño and Duque.
He said something about heading south to see a
five-colored river?
Money's tight, so you'll probably find her
crashing at the Platypus Hotel.
She was looking for a pre-Colonial device for
grinding coca leaves into paste. When I told her it didn't ring a bell, she
showed me a picture of it - printed on a coin!
He rode to a church somewhere outside the
city. They made him leave his horse behind - it kept licking the walls!
I only know that he's at a church dedicated to
the Patron Saint of Miners.
We were batting around ideas on where he
should go next, when he asked me to pass the salt. A lightbulb went off!
I told him if he's hungry, he'll find
something in the Zona G.
If he's in town for it, he can't miss Rock al
Parque. Bolívar would've been so proud!
I heard he checked into Hospital San Ignacio
with a stubbed toe and a bruised ego.
She's meeting her contact at the Centro
Comercial Santafé. Look for her hiding behind the trays at the food court.
He said he's "flying into El
Dorado"? Under the influence of
what, who knows.
Your friend was just in here. We were chatting about Fernando Botero - who
were his influences, what he fetches on the black market, and so on.
He sent me a postcard of a painting of the
Mona Lisa - but why is she so round and overweight?
She said he's "flying into El
Dorado"? Under the influence of
what, who knows.
She sent me a postcard of a painting of the
Mona Lisa - but why is she so round and overweight?
It looks like he cashed some checks at
Bancolombia. Trouble is, they weren't his checks!
It looks like she cashed some checks at
Bancolombia. Trouble is, they weren't her checks!
He's headed to the town founded by Gonzalo
Jiménez de Quesada.
She's headed to the town founded by Gonzalo
Jiménez de Quesada.
Reykjavik,
Iceland
I spotted a campaign sticker for "Best
Party 2010" on her luggage.
I can't tell you where she went. I swore I'd
keep Múm.
I can't tell you where he went. I swore I'd
keep Múm.
I saw her strolling by with a Halldór Laxness
novel under her arm.
I would look for her at the Winter Garden in
Perlan.
The city she's headed to is the world's
northernmost national capital. And you
better bet you can get that on a t-shirt!
The city he's headed to is the world's
northernmost national capital. And you
better bet you can get that on a t-shirt!
I wish I could be there when you track him
down - that'll be the biggest match that town has seen since Fischer and
Spassky.
He was planning a rendezvous by the statue of
Leifur Eiríksson, right by that big church.
She said something about "settling
in" with a nice book?
He said something about "settling
in" with a nice book?
She was hot on the trail of an old Norse
geneaological record. I'm not sure why - maybe she's looking for baby names?
He was hot on the trail of an old Norse
geneaological record. I'm not sure why - maybe he's looking for baby names?
The people of this city come from hardy literary
stock. How many people who hack a living out of the woods and shiver through a
20-hour night have time to sit down and write a book about it?
She was planning a rendezvous by the statue of
Leifur Eiríksson, right by that big church.
She wanted to check out the Saga Museum, but
she was scared it would take too long.
I did see her walk by wearing a Mugison
t-shirt.
It was one
of those "Land" places, somethingland, not Greenland, more like...
Freezingland? Is that a place?
If she's tired of the city, she might paddle out to Viðey.
From the heft of her down jacket I'm guessing she's going to be two degrees south of the Arctic Circle.
If she's tired of the city, she might paddle out to Viðey.
From the heft of her down jacket I'm guessing she's going to be two degrees south of the Arctic Circle.
He was planning a rendezvous by the statue of
Leifur Eiríksson, right by that big church.
He wanted to check out the Saga Museum, but he
was scared it would take too long.
I did see him walk by wearing a Mugison
t-shirt.
If he's
tired of the city, he might paddle out to Viðey.
From the heft of his down jacket I'm guessing he's going to be two degrees south of the Arctic Circle.
From the heft of his down jacket I'm guessing he's going to be two degrees south of the Arctic Circle.
He told me where he was skating, so I warned
him about the spot they thaw out for the birds. I guess they pump in geothermal
waters, just to heat up some geese. Takes all kinds, right?
She told me where she was skating, so I warned
her about the spot they thaw out for the birds. I guess they pump in geothermal
waters, just to heat up some geese. Takes all kinds, right?
He was planning a rendezvous by "the
Pond." Does that help?
She was planning a rendezvous by "the
Pond." Does that help?
You might find him taking the naturally warm
waters at the Blue Lagoon.
You might find her taking the naturally warm
waters at the Blue Lagoon.
Stockholm,
Sweden
You know, he mentioned he was going to check
out a ship from the 17th century. He told me it had sunk once, so what are the
odds it would happen again?
I never miss Eurovision, and for my
money? The greatest winner ever was
"Waterloo." And wow, those
outfits - wait, what was your question?
Your friend's scouring the city for souvenirs
of his four favorite musicians in the world: Agnetha, Björn, Benny, and
Anni-Frid.
Before he fell into a life of crime, your perp
was an amateur puppeteer. I'll bet he'll swing by the Marionettmuseet while
he's in town.
I did see your friend carrying a commemorative
towel from the 1912 Olympics.
She could be camping out covertly in the
Tyresta National Park.
She mentioned she was going to crash a big
banquet at Stadshuset. I'd go find her before security does!
He mentioned he was going to crash a big
banquet at Stadshuset. I'd go find him before security does!
She said something about wanting to see the
childhood home of ... Britt Ekland? Sorry, she's a little before my time.
She wanted to find someone to pull her around
town in Queen Kristina's coronation carriage.
Word is she has a rendezvous at the Fountain
of Molin in Kungsträdgården.
You might catch him in the park, waiting for a
glimpse of Crown Princess Victoria. Actually, I guess he's just plain stalking
her.
He mentioned he was going to visit the home of
a controversial playwright who didn't win a Nobel Prize. That doesn't really
narrow it down for you, does it?
I know this fellow's a theater buff. He was excited to hear that Miss Julie's back
in town.
Did you know the girl you're chasing is a
puppet scholar? She has a PhD in Marionettes and a Master's in Muppets.
Your friend said something about checking out
Meschke's collection?
You might catch her in the park, waiting for a
glimpse of Crown Princess Victoria. Actually, I guess she's just plain stalking
her.
I'll give you some free advice - she's headed
to a museum with a 4,000-piece collection. But be warned: there are strings
attached.
She mentioned the city she's headed to is
named for the timber-stock fences that steered traffic through its waterways.
You're in luck. It's not every day you pursue
someone to the birthplace of sledge hockey.
I know this lady's a theater buff. She was excited to hear that Miss Julie's
back in town.
You might catch him in the park, waiting for a
glimpse of Crown Princess Victoria. Actually, I guess he's just plain stalking
her.
Here, look at the photo he just posted on
Facebook. There's a fountain, and you can see an ocean god, his wife and nine
daughters, and some swans. Where could this be?
I heard he's planning a rendezvous at the
Butterfly House in Haga Park.
If I remember my history, your suspect is
going where old Birger Jarl built his fort at the mouth of Lake Mälaren.
Could be he's laying low in Gustav Vasa's castle
just outside the city.
She mentioned she'd be swinging by the
open-air museum on Djurgården. Traditional glass-blowing's a hobby of hers'.
He mentionedshe'd be swinging by the open-air
museum on Djurgården. Traditional glass-blowing's a hobby of his.
Did you know your target's a numismatist? She
might try to swipe something from the town where old King Olof Skötkonung
ordered the minting of the first coins in the country.
Did you know your target's a numismatist? He
might try to swipe something from the town where old King Olof Skötkonung
ordered the minting of the first coins in the country.
You might find him staying in the vicinity of
Sweden's oldest cathedral, Storkyrkan.
You might find her staying in the vicinity of
Sweden's oldest cathedral, Storkyrkan.
I overheard him telling someone he wouldn't go
to the royal necropolis at Riddarholmskyrkan. Said it sounded way too spooky.
I overheard her telling someone he wouldn't go
to the royal necropolis at Riddarholmskyrkan. Said it sounded way too spooky.
Apparently your suspect was a big fan of Greta
Garbo. Does that help?
There are so many islands in the archipelago,
she could be hiding in any of them. But you could start with Finnhamn - I think
she has a rich uncle with a second house there.
There are so many islands in the archipelago,
he could be hiding in any of them. But you could start with Finnhamn - I think
he has a rich uncle with a second house there.
You're in luck. It's not every day you pursue
someone to the birthplace of sledge hockey.
I'll give you some free advice - he's headed
to a museum with a 4,000-piece collection. But be warned: there are strings
attached.
I'll give you some free advice - she's headed
to a museum with a 4,000-piece collection. But be warned: there are strings
attached.
Did you know the guy you're chasing is a
puppet scholar? He has a PhD in Marionettes and a Master's in Muppets.
Did you know the gal you're chasing is a
puppet scholar? Sje has a PhD in Marionettes and a Master's in Muppets.
I know this fellow's a theater buff. He was excited to hear that Miss Julie's back
in town.
He mentioned he was going to visit the home of
a controversial playwright who didn't win a Nobel Prize. That doesn't really
narrow it down for you, does it?
Copenhagen,
Denmark
They have a giant jazz festival every year,
and it doesn't just featuring Danish artists.
Oh sure, I know where she went. I told her to
check out the University Library to see where it was hit by a British
cannonball in 1807.
He's definitely headed to Scandinavia. He even
packed his favorite pair of reindeer fur boots.
Your suspect said something about fleeing to
"Zealand"? Did he mean New
Zealand? Or maybe, I don't know, Old Zealand?
I know exactly where he is: the Inderhavnen,
looking for a boat where he can stowaway and escape.
I'll bet she hitched down Amagermotorvejen to
Brøndby Strand. She has a fætter there.
I know exactly where she is: the Inderhavnen,
looking for a boat where she can stowaway and escape.
Your suspect said something about fleeing to
"Zealand"? Did he mean New
Zealand? Or maybe, I don't know, Old Zealand?
He's definitely headed to Scandinavia. He even
packed his favorite pair of reindeer fur boots.
Rumor has it your suspect is camping out at a
public park called the Kongens Have.
As I understand it, the girl you're chasing
made a beeline for the statue of Den Lille Havfrue and bawled and bawled, 'til
she saw some cops and got spooked. Hey, we all have a soft spot somewhere.
The suspect went to the largest city in
Scandinavia.
It was very strange, he muttered something
under his breath about "asking old Jens what time it was in space, hur hur
hur."
I heard that he was scoping out the Louisiana
Museum of Modern Art.
This fellow you're following mentioned
checking out an amazing astronomical clock. The slowest gear takes 25,000 years
to turn!
He mentioned something about heading to the
city hall to check the time.
I know where she went, but not how she got there. Maybe she snuck into town on a cruise ship
docking at ... oh, what do they call the dock, I know the word means "long
line"?
She might be hiding in Christian IV's old fort
- you know, the creepy one in the shape of a pentagram.
I'll tell you, there's something rotten in the
country where your suspect went.
Your suspect dropped a copy of
"Hamlet." Did you know the character was inspired by the viking
Prince Amled of Jutland?
She's probably in Freetown Christiania,
although it kind of surprised me. Henchwomen and hippies usually don't mix.
They caught him lurking around the new section
of the library, the Black Diamond.
I know exactly where he is: the Inderhavnen,
looking for a boat where he can stowaway and escape.
Prison's too good for the likes of this
henchwoman. You should make her star in a Lars von Trier movie!
I heard that she was scoping out the Louisiana
Museum of Modern Art.
If I had to guess, he's probably hanging out
trying to blend with the crowd in Gammel Torv.
If I had to guess, she's probably hanging out
trying to blend with the crowd in Gammel Torv.
I heard that Interpol spotted your perp
lurking around Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek, getting grabby with the Degas.
Where'd she go - I know she said she was
headed for a Scandinavian capital. But oh, they have so many to choose from.
Where'd he go - I know he said he was headed
for a Scandinavian capital. But oh, they have so many to choose from.
Oh sure, I know where she went. I told her to
check out the University Library to see where it was hit by a British
cannonball in 1807.
Oh sure, I know where he went. I told him to
check out the University Library to see where it was hit by a British
cannonball in 1807.
You know, the name of the city you're heading
to translates as "merchants' harbor."
If
everything I've heard about your suspect is true, she deserves to be locked
away in a cramped wooden cage for 16 years. Maybe longer.
If
everything I've heard about your suspect is true, he deserves to be locked away
in a cramped wooden cage for 16 years. Maybe longer.
Dublin,
Ireland
She might duck out of town to visit Bram
Stoker's museum.
Phil Lynott was my idol; I'd love to go with
you and see his statue.
The name of this town is said to mean
"black pool," although now it goes by "town of the hurdled
ford." Either way, it's more fun
than it sounds.
She got all serious and asked me, "Do you
root for Bohemians or Shamrock Rovers? … Think before you answer."
He got all serious and asked me, "Do you
root for Bohemians or Shamrock Rovers? ... Think before you answer."
Act fast - she said she was going to race
through town and then catch a ferry east to Holyhead.
They spotted her running by Yeats' old place
and ducking into Wilde's.
He knows you're coming. He was terrified of
being "as stuck as that cat to that mouse in that tube of that
Christchurch organ."
Maybe I misheard him, but he said he was going
to ask Tara for a look at her brooch?
I heard him talking about checking out a
precious chalice, and seeing how much Kool-Aid he could pour into it.
He told me he was going to pay a visit to a
thief, a nun, a crusader, and someone else whose name he didn't catch.
I heard her talking about checking out a
precious chalice, and seeing how much Kool-Aid she could pour into it.
Maybe I misheard her, but she said she was
going to ask Tara for a look at her brooch?
Act fast - she said she was going to race
through town and then catch a ferry east to Holyhead.
She's hiding in a large building with plenty
of shadows. Be careful if you chance your arm looking for her.
He whispered something in his phone about
meeting at a building named after his favorite holiday.
She whispered something in her phone about
meeting at a building named after her favorite holiday.
I know where he went. The place has really classed up since they kicked the horses out of the nave.
He told me he was staying at Trinity. I warned him not to go under the Campanile when the bells ring, or he's in for bad luck.
I know where he went. The place has really classed up since they kicked the horses out of the nave.
He told me he was staying at Trinity. I warned him not to go under the Campanile when the bells ring, or he's in for bad luck.
He might duck out of town to visit Bram
Stoker's museum.
She told me she was going to pay a visit to a
thief, a nun, a crusader, and someone else whose name she didn't catch.
He told me he was going to pay a visit to a
thief, a nun, a crusader, and someone else whose name he didn't catch.
You might find her lurking outside the
"Taj MaHaughey."
You might find him lurking outside the
"Taj MaHaughey."
She's hiding in a large building with plenty
of shadows. Be careful if you chance your arm looking for her.
He's
hiding in a large building with plenty of shadows. Be careful if you chance
your arm looking for him.
She said she didn't know what a 121-meter
steel spire had to do with light, but she wanted to try climbing it anyway.
He said he didn't know what a 121-meter steel
spire had to do with light, but he wanted to try climbing it anyway.
The Hague,
Netherlands
She said she'd hobnob with the Hagenaars, but
she'll be lucky if the Hagenezen give her the time of day.
All I can tell you is, she's a giant fan of
Piet Mondrian.
She whispered something about a municipal
musuem - but where?
I just know one thing: she's always wanted to
study under Mirella Simoncini.
He tracked a bunch of clay in here. Where'd he
get that?
Here, he dropped this pic of the Golden
Carriage. I don't know - if I were the Queen I'd ask for something with a
little more horsepower.
He's headed to some hall to hear the Queen
speak?
Your suspect was eager to get a look at a real
live Hülleneinband, so I brought up the Koninklijke Bibliotheek.
He said he's walking around a hall in an old
hunting lodge, looking for some knights?
He's quite an art connoisseur - he asked me
question after question about Vermeer.
He wanted to steal an armful of tin-glazed
white-and-blue tiles.
I gave him a free ticket to see Raiders'99
play, but it just made him angry - he thought he missed the game!
He was eager to check out the art collection
of William V, but only 'cause orange is his favorite color.
He's probably at the United Nations court, to
see if they'll fix an international parking ticket.
Oh, I wish I could have gone with him. I've
never seen a Troonrede in person!
He told me he was searching for a girl with a
pearl earring. I asked if wearing two was a dealbreaker?
She told me she was searching for a girl with
a pearl earring. I asked if wearing two was a dealbreaker?
I heard he was going to the coast to celebrate
the first herring of the year.
She told me she was looking for a war palace.
I said, why not try something completely different?
I think she's at one of Andrew Carnegie's
buildings.
I think he's at one of Andrew Carnegie's
buildings.
I heard her say to someone, "Meet me at
the statue of Little John, by the pond."
Your friend's cocky - I heard he challenged
Raymond van Barneveld to a darts match.
She said she's staying at a place along Lange
Voorhout, but I'm skeptical.
She's casing the site of the diamond theft at
the Museon - you know, to pick up some pointers.
I heard she was going to the coast to
celebrate the first herring of the year.
He said he's hunting for a laughing boy at
Maurice's House. I'm guessing Maurice knows better knock-knock jokes than your
friend there.
I heard her say to someone, "Meet me at
the statue of Little John, by the pond."
Here, he dropped this pic of the Golden
Carriage. I don't know - if I were the Queen I'd ask for something with a
little more horsepower.
She said she's hunting for a laughing boy at
Maurice's House. I'm guessing Maurice knows better knock-knock jokes than your
friend there.
Heidelberg,
Germany
She was just here. She took a call from the Palatinate, asking
for an overdue library book?
She was just spotted crossing the Alte Brücke
over the Neckar.
She told me she's headed to "a royal
residence of the intellect." I told her she should double-check the
invitation.
She wants to backdate a birthday gift, and
she's looking for an envelope at the German Museum of Packaging.
I heard she's lurking around the campus of the
oldest university in Germany.
We were talking about my favorite Broadway
show, "The Student Prince." She told me she never gets past "The
Drinking Song."
Look for her somewhere up Saints' Mountain,
looking awkward and out of place.
She's hiding somewhere between the Gun Park
and the Thick Tower.
She's looking for a St. Michael's Basilica,
but I warned her there's not much left.
I heard she's lurking around the campus of the
oldest university in Germany.
She told me she's headed to "a royal
residence of the intellect." I told her she should double-check the
invitation.
She said something about visiting the site of
a temple to Mercury?
She's meeting someone at an ampitheater on top
of a holy mountain.
I told her to check out the Ebert Memorial,
but she gave me a "thumbs down."
I know she was looking for an 800-year-old
California juniper for her studio apartment.
She was planning to visit a very old man with
a sturdy jaw from Mauer?
I didn't see her whole itinerary, but she did
write something on there about a bonsai museum.
He was going to run by the Marstall, but he
doesn't like to be lectured.
She was going to run by the Marstall, but she
doesn't like to be lectured.
He's hiding somewhere between the Gun Park and
the Thick Tower.
I told him to check out the Ebert Memorial,
but he gave me a "thumbs down."
I heard he's lurking around the campus of the
oldest university in Germany.
He was just spotted crossing the Alte Brücke
over the Neckar.
You might find her chasing the Siberian Swan
Geese by the river in Bergheim.
You might find him chasing the Siberian Swan
Geese by the river in Bergheim.
She was just spotted riding the Bergbahn up to
the castle. Catch her before she rides again!
He was just spotted riding the Bergbahn up to
the castle. Catch him before he rides again!
Last I heard, she was near the town of Worms,
fishing around for a treasure of unsurpassed worth.
Last I heard, he was near the town of Worms,
fishing around for a treasure of unsurpassed worth.
She was off to "look through some stuff
Creuzer dug up."
He was off to "look through some stuff
Creuzer dug up."
Let's see,
where'd she go - she's in a platz somewhere? Definitely a platz.
Oh her? She's staying on the Kurfürsten-Anlage. Here, I'll write down the address.
Look for her in the Altstadt. Which Altstadt? Um, I guess you should try them all.
Oh her? She's staying on the Kurfürsten-Anlage. Here, I'll write down the address.
Look for her in the Altstadt. Which Altstadt? Um, I guess you should try them all.
Let's see,
where'd he go - he's in a platz somewhere? Definitely a platz.
Oh him? He's staying on the Kurfürsten-Anlage. Here, I'll write down the address.
Look for him in the Altstadt. Which Altstadt? Um, I guess you should try them all.
Oh him? He's staying on the Kurfürsten-Anlage. Here, I'll write down the address.
Look for him in the Altstadt. Which Altstadt? Um, I guess you should try them all.
Berlin,
Germany
You might find him digging around for old
Tangerine Dream vinyl.
He told me he always gets choked up at the
East Side Gallery.
His ears perked up when I mentioned the
Lustgarden.
Her ears perked up when I mentioned the
Lustgarden.
He said he likes to lurk around watching the
city, pretending he's Damiel. Or was it Cassiel?
I only know she's planning a rendezvous under
a Linden tree.
She asked me for directions to a statue of
Frederick. I have a great-uncle named Frederick, but he's not that well-known.
He asked me for directions to a statue of
Frederick. I have a great-uncle named Frederick, but he's not that well-known.
I heard her say she's heading down the street
to the old royal hunting grounds?
knew
that she's a huge MJ fan, so I suggested she stay at the Adlon.
He asked me if I knew where he could find an
Archaeopteryx fossil. As luck would have
it, I did.
She asked me if I knew where she could find an
Archaeopteryx fossil. As luck would have
it, I did.
He mentioned he wanted to get his picture
taken with Bobby at the Natural History Museum.
She mentioned she wanted to get her picture
taken with Bobby at the Natural History Museum.
She might get a bratwurst at the Arminius
Markthalle.
She wants to study some spy tricks at Stasi -
Die Ausstellung.
I heard she was slouching around the
Medizinhistorisches Museum, grabbing the exhibits and doing her Igor
impersonation.
I heard he was slouching around the
Medizinhistorisches Museum, grabbing the exhibits and doing his Igor impersonation.
He's in a city whose name is thought to mean
"swamp." But they've really cleaned the place up since then.
He said he likes to lurk around watching the
city, pretending he's Damiel. Or was it Cassiel?
I heard
the guards had to pull her off the Mighty Wurlitzer
I asked her if she was going to see a famous composer's cembalo, but she said she had a weak stomach.
I asked her if she was going to see a famous composer's cembalo, but she said she had a weak stomach.
I heard
the guards had to pull him off the Mighty Wurlitzer
I asked him if he was going to see a famous composer's cembalo, but he said he had a weak stomach.
I asked him if he was going to see a famous composer's cembalo, but he said he had a weak stomach.
You might catch him spying on the federal
chancellor in the "washing machine."
You might catch her spying on the federal
chancellor in the "washing machine."
I knew that he's a huge MJ fan, so I suggested
he stay at the Adlon.
I knew that she's a huge MJ fan, so I
suggested she stay at the Adlon.
I know
there's an Egyptian treasure at the New Museum that caught his eye
I know
there's an Egyptian treasure at the New Museum that caught her eye
Astana,
Kazakhstan
He told me
all about his plans to infiltrate a triennial congress of world religious
leaders.
He's
attending an opera in the base of a pyramid?
She told
me all about his plans to infiltrate a triennial congress of world religious
leaders.
She's
attending an opera in the base of a pyramid?
She's
probably doing business in the Special Economic Zone.
We found an old map of the USSR in her room. Tselinograd was circled.
Word has it she's hiding out somewhere in the 'stans.
He's probably doing business in the Special Economic Zone.
We found an old map of the USSR in his room. Tselinograd was circled.
Word has it he's hiding out somewhere in the 'stans.
She asked me for a ticket to "the world's second coldest capital." I thought it was a strange request, but I guess it beats Ulaanbaatar!
The city she's going to was central in Khrushchev's Virgin Lands Campaign.
We found an old map of the USSR in her room. Tselinograd was circled.
Word has it she's hiding out somewhere in the 'stans.
He's probably doing business in the Special Economic Zone.
We found an old map of the USSR in his room. Tselinograd was circled.
Word has it he's hiding out somewhere in the 'stans.
She asked me for a ticket to "the world's second coldest capital." I thought it was a strange request, but I guess it beats Ulaanbaatar!
The city she's going to was central in Khrushchev's Virgin Lands Campaign.
He asked
me for a ticket to "the world's second coldest capital." I thought it
was a strange request, but I guess it beats Ulaanbaatar!
The city he's going to was central in Khrushchev's Virgin Lands Campaign.
The city he's going to was central in Khrushchev's Virgin Lands Campaign.
I heard she was out on the steppe looking for
evidence of UFOs, but she only encountered a circus!
I heard he was out on the steppe looking for
evidence of UFOs, but he only encountered a circus!
She has a
strange fascination with the Gulag, so she'll probably want to visit the site
of the ALZHIR camp to the southwest.
She's on the south side of the river, looking for a monument to the victims of Soviet repression.
She's on the south side of the river, looking for a monument to the victims of Soviet repression.
He has a
strange fascination with the Gulag, so he'll probably want to visit the site of
the ALZHIR camp to the southwest.
He's on
the south side of the river, looking for a monument to the victims of Soviet
repression.
Budapest,
Hungary
The airplane code on the corner of her ticket
read "BUD." Is she flying Air Bud?
The airplane code on the corner of his ticket
read "BUD." Is he flying Air Bud?
He's sacking out in a safehouse up in the Buda
Hills.
She wouldn't miss a chance to see them play
bandy at Városliget.
She just texted me - she was minding her own
business when a parade came by carrying somebody's mummified right hand!
Your friend there is a big fan of János
"Blind" Bottyán. What Bottyán lacked in depth perception, he brought
in sheer guts.
I know she's poking around looking for an old
mint. She didn't say the name, but there's a sign over the door that reads
"ALLAMI PENZVERO."
She said something about hiding in a church in
a cave?
I'll tell you what I told her: if anyone asks
you to celebrate Saint Gellert's day by getting in a barrel and rolling down a
hill? Don’t do it.
He said something about standing in a rotary,
flanked by four heroes.
Your friend there is a big fan of János
"Blind" Bottyán. What Bottyán lacked in depth perception, he brought
in sheer guts.
You want good luck while you're over there? Do
as I told your friend: Find the statue of the historian Anonymous, and rub his
pen.
I told him if he wants good luck, to do what
the students do: Head up by the Castle and rub the statue of Hadik's horse.
Just look for the shiny part, you can't miss it.
He said he was going to blend in with some
pilgrims who were headed to a tomb. I suggested that first, he take the belt
buckle off his hat.
I told him that if he swings by the Medical
Museum, to pay tribute to the good doctor by washing his hands on the way in.
He's probably going up Rose Hill. I'm guessing
it takes its name from its longest-running resident.
We were just talking about a mausoleum to a
man who captured the city and died right afterwards.
Here, she sent me this postcard of a statue of
a man on horseback. I could swear that looks like St. István!
He said he was going to see a fountain flanked
by three kids wrestling a fish. I suppose that would be a sight to see.
She's on that boulevard, the road that's named
for a big ring?
He's on that boulevard, the road that's named
for a big ring?
You'll find him lurking around Shipyard
Island.
You'll find her lurking around Shipyard
Island.
He's probably coming in by hydrofoil, heading
east from Bratislava.
She's probably coming in by hydrofoil, heading
east from Bratislava.
He just strolled by here whistling "The
Blue Danube."
She just strolled by here whistling "The
Blue Danube."
Salzburg,
Austria
She's hiding in some fortress, and she said
she'd be as safe as an Archbishop during a revolt while she's there.
She could be prowling around Tanzmeisterhaus,
looking for any scraps of music that got left behind. I didn't have the heart
to tell her the original house was destroyed in the war.
You'll probably find her the Golden Stube, but
she belongs in the Reckturm.
I told her to bring me back some Mozartkugel.
I know she's meeting someone in "the
garden von Erlach designed."
I know he's meeting someone in "the
garden von Erlach designed."
She said something about trying to snag a
spare cherub from the Angels Staircase?
He said something about trying to snag a spare
cherub from the Angels Staircase?
Oddly enough, his favorite song is
"Silent Night." I suggested he visit the village where its composer
was born.
He's in an Alpine town that's famous for its
salt - it's right there in the name.
She said she was going "unter" the
mountain to check the length of Emperor Barbarossa's beard.
I heard he's been hanging around
Residenzplatz, sniffing for gold.
He's meeting someone at Hans Makart's square.
She could be lurking around St.
Sebastian’s. I guess it's easier to
mingle with the upper crust when they can't run away from you.
He has a
rendezvous by the tomb of a great physician.
He could be lurking around St. Sebastian’s. I guess it's easier to mingle with the upper crust when they can't run away from you.
If you're in town during the festival, don't miss a chance to see Jedermann in the Square.
He could be lurking around St. Sebastian’s. I guess it's easier to mingle with the upper crust when they can't run away from you.
If you're in town during the festival, don't miss a chance to see Jedermann in the Square.
She's in an Alpine town that's famous for its
salt - it's right there in the name.
She said she's hot on the trail of a famous
person's skull. That's not how I'd pass my vacation, but to each her own.
I told her this is the birthplace of one of
the world's greatest composers, and her jaw dropped and she asked, "Herb
Alpert?"
He's in an Alpine town that's famous for its
salt - it's right there in the name.
I asked her to pick me up a souvenir of
Wolferl while she's in town. A big
fluffy wig, for example.
He was seen ducking through the farmhouses at
the Freilicht Museum.
You'll find her in a cheap hotel off the
Getreidegasse. The innkeeper has a
motto: "If it ain't baroque, don't fix it - the tourists won't even
notice."
You'll find him in a cheap hotel off the
Getreidegasse. The innkeeper has a
motto: "If it ain't baroque, don't fix it - the tourists won't even
notice."
I understand she's heading where the schnitzel
is high as an elephant's eyes.
I understand he's heading where the schnitzel
is high as an elephant's eyes.
She has a rendezvous by the tomb of a great
physician.
He has a rendezvous by the tomb of a great
physician.
If you're in town during the festival, don't
miss a chance to see Jedermann in the Square.
Paris,
France
He swore he'd make time to see "La
Gioconda," even if it seemed a little touristy.
Here's a clue for you - a note from her daily
planner about a lunch date at Jules Verne's.
She swore she'd make time to see "La
Gioconda," even if it seemed a little touristy.
She mentioned she was hoping to get a look at
Rodin's Balzac.
He mentioned he was going to Bruand's lock
museum. I told him that I'd heard it was
closed. I think somebody lost the key.
I would try watching out for him by Henri IV's
New Bridge.
He told me he was headed to where Frederick
Chopin's death mask was cast. I said I'd rather just try his stuff on iTunes
and see what I think.
I overheard him on his phone, telling someone
he was going to scope out a statue from the island of Milo?
Your friend has a sharp wit, but I warned him
to hold his tongue while he's over there.
He doesn't want to end up like Francis Seldon!
He mentioned he'd be heading to the Field of
Mars to get a better view of the city.
She said she was off to check out a comedy by
Jean-Baptiste Poquelin. I didn’t recognize the name, but I'm told he was
famous.
She mentioned she was going to climb up some
old pig-iron tower they built around the fin de siècle.
She mentioned she'd be heading to the Field of
Mars to get a better view of the city.
He mentioned he was going to climb up some old
pig-iron tower they built around the fin de siècle.
He told me he was going to head over to IRCAM
to pitch them on an amazing choral work for sixty henchmen banging on the bars
of their cells.
I overheard him planning a rendezvous:
"Face west with the Statue of Liberty and wait for my ship to sail
by."
She
mentioned she might head to the Marché aux Fleurs et Oiseaux. She said she was
looking for a stoolpigeon.
She didn't say exactly where she was going,
but she mentioned a river that used to be called Sicauna - a name that either
means "sacred source," or "weird cat!"
Where did she go … here, pass me one of those
madeleines and I'm sure I'll remember.
She's headed to a city that was named for a
Celtic tribe that used to live here.
You'll see some odd things in the city where
he went. I mean, who would think of turning
"The Firebird Suite" into a fountain? At least it should shoot
flames.
He told me he's headed to a major foodie
capital. I couldn't resist telling him that it's also the home of
pasteurization.
Your friend has a sharp wit, but I warned him
to hold his tongue while he's over there.
He doesn't want to end up like Francis Seldon!
She
dropped these instructions: "The white, blue, and red pipes are safe to
sneak through. Beware - green is water and yellow is electricity. Or, just try
the front door."
He dropped
these instructions: "The white, blue, and red pipes are safe to sneak
through. Beware - green is water and yellow is electricity. Or, just try the
front door."
You'll see some odd things in the city where he went. I mean, who would think of turning "The Firebird Suite" into a fountain? At least it should shoot flames.
You'll see some odd things in the city where he went. I mean, who would think of turning "The Firebird Suite" into a fountain? At least it should shoot flames.
I overheard him on his phone, telling someone
he was going to scope out a statue from the island of Milo?
He mentioned he'd be staying with a wealthy friend
in the Tuileries Quarter.
I know she was planning to come in by boat.
She called ahead to have someone check the Zouave and make sure the river
wasn't flooding.
She was sight-seeing near the catacombs when a
sign scared her off. It read (and I'm translating), "Stop! This is the
empire of death." I would turn around too!
She mentioned something about scoping out an
antique arquebus at the Hôtel de Guénégaud.
He mentioned something about scoping out an
antique arquebus at the Hôtel de Guénégaud.
Here, she left a copy of a reservation for a
hotel on the Rue Quincampoix.
Here, he left a copy of a reservation for a
hotel on the Rue Quincampoix.
I'm pretty sure he's holed up near the final
resting place of Napoleon. Fitting, since he's scared that this will be his
Waterloo.
I'm pretty sure she's holed up near the final
resting place of Napoleon. Fitting, since she's scared that this will be her
Waterloo.
He's headed to a city on the River Seine.
She's headed to a city on the River Seine.
I overheard him say on the phone, "We'll
always have..." but then I missed the actual city name.
I overheard her say on the phone, "We'll
always have..." but then I missed the actual city name.
He told me he was headed to where Frédéric
Chopin's death mask was cast. I said I'd rather just try his stuff on iTunes
and see what I think.
She told me she was headed to where Frédéric
Chopin's death mask was cast. I said I'd rather just try his stuff on iTunes
and see what I think.
Rome,
Italy
Rumor has it she's lurking near a mostra of
the Aqua Virgo.
I understand she was planning a rendezvous
by the Arch of Janus.
I just heard from your suspect. She told me
she put off his weekly bath so she could take it at Caracalla, and she was
very, very disappointed when she got there.
Here, look at this photo your friend dropped.
It's an old sculpture with a man's face - that's either an old pagan god, or
the bassist for Goblin.
She said something about a staircase that was
built to commemorate the end of the plague. Me, if I had to tend to a city full
of sick people, I would build an escalator.
I did hear her making a bet with someone:
"Why should I be scared to stick my hand in some old manhole cover?"
She was determined to see the Altar of Heaven,
even if she had to get there on her knees!
She mentioned she was checking out one of the
world's oldest lie detectors, just to see if she could beat it.
I heard she got lost stumbling up and down and
up and down Giuseppe Momos's double helix.
Your suspect wanted to see how fresh water
tasted when it flowed from over 400 km of aqueducts. I think they're a little
late.
I just heard from your suspect. He told me he
put off his weekly bath so he could take it at Caracalla, and he was very, very
disappointed when he got there.
I think she said she was headed for, what's
it, the fountain with the big pine cone on top of it.
I think he said he was headed for, what's it,
the fountain with the big pine cone on top of it.
All she said, in a hushed tone, was that she's
going to pay tribute to the master of giallo, or die in a pit of razor wire
trying.
Your friend said he'd be hiding underground in
an old temple by San Clemente.
Your friend said she'd be hiding underground
in an old temple by San Clemente.
He did say something about checking out
Bernardino Spada's museum.
All he said, in a hushed tone, was that he's
going to pay tribute to the master of giallo, or die in a pit of razor wire
trying.
She mentioned that if things got hairy, she
would duck into the Catacombs of St. Callixtus.
I understand she was planning a rendezvous
by the Arch of Janus.
She said something about checking out a
mysterious Mithraeum. I always thought those were mythical?
He said something about checking out a
mysterious Mithraeum. I always thought those were mythical?
Your suspect sailed to a city that's mostly
inland, but it just touches the Tyrrhenian Sea.
I told him to be sure to see Trajan's Column,
and he asked me which newspaper it's in.
I told her to be sure to see Trajan's Column,
and she asked me which newspaper it's in.
Maybe this is a clue: he was wearing an old
t-shirt from the 1960 Olympics.
Maybe this is a clue: she was wearing an old
t-shirt from the 1960 Olympics.
In the Pantheon of great world cities, you want the one
that's got the Pantheon
Athens,
Greece
Sure, I'll tell you where your girl went. Try
not to corrupt the youth while you're over there, okay?
Your suspect was talking about visiting three
ancient, public gymnasia, apparently to see if all the athletes still competed
while naked.
Your suspect came into town by taking a barge
through the Aegean, drifting past the islands, and then swimming the last 200
meters after they found her and threw her overboard.
Your suspect came into town by taking a barge
through the Aegean, drifting past the islands, and then swimming the last 200
meters after they found him and threw him overboard.
Last I heard, her rental car got towed. She tried to park in the city on an
odd-numbered date with an even-numbered plate. What was she thinking?
Last I heard, his rental car got towed. He tried to park in the city on an
odd-numbered date with an even-numbered plate. What was he thinking?
While you're in town, be sure to check out the
major archeological museum. The collection dates back almost 9,000 years. Granted, most of it didn't have to travel
far.
I understand she was going to sneak in through
the ancient port of Piraeus.
Your suspect dropped a postcard from the
Museum of Cycladic Art, which, as far as I can guess, is a museum of paintings
of bike races.
Sure, I'll tell you where your guy went. Try
not to corrupt the youth while you're over there, okay?
If you wanted to be a thespian, this would be
a pretty good place to study. Too bad Thespis ain't around to teach anymore.
Looks like you should head to the birthplace
of the Marathon. And the Spartathalon!
The city you're headed to is a major center of
modern rock. You've got R.E.M., the B-52s, Elephant 6, and - oh, sorry. I was
thinking of the one in Georgia.
Sure, I'll tell you where your guy went. Try
not to corrupt the youth while you're over there, okay?
They caught her lurking past the Tomb of the
Unknown Soldier.
Your henchwoman's headed to the capital of the
Hellenic Republic.
Word is she was chased through the National
Gardens by some well-belted guards.
While you're in town, be sure to check out the
major archeological museum. The collection dates back almost 9,000 years. Granted, most of it didn't have to travel
far.
I spotted him trying to look chic at a wine
bar in Psyrrí, reading a book in the local language. Of course he was holding
it upside down.
I spotted her trying to look chic at a wine
bar in Psyrrí, reading a book in the local language. Of course she was holding
it upside down.
If you wanted to be a thespian, this would be
a pretty good place to study. Too bad Thespis ain't around to teach anymore.
I'll bet the god of the sea's still peeved
about the time that this city snubbed him. Hope you don't get caught in a storm
while you're there.
The story goes that more than one god fought
over the right to be patron of the city where your suspect is headed.
Madrid,
Spain
I can tell you where to find this lady, but
you should move fast - she said she's already got a ticket on the AVE train to
Córdoba, or maybe Seville.
I can tell you where to find this fellow, but
you should move fast - he said he's already got a ticket on the AVE train to
Córdoba, or maybe Seville.
It was hard to read the telegram from over her
shoulder, but there was definitely a mention of a "gateway to the
sun."
Sure, I know where to find her. She mentioned
she'd be staying right by the Tío Pepe sign.
I know exactly where she went. She's a sucker
for cocido madrileño.
He didn't tell me the name of the
neighborhood, but he did say it was named after "dear little Manuela,
murdered by the French."
I can lead you to your friend here, but you
better move fast - he's days away from leaving town by train from Chamartín.
We didn't talk for long, but he mentioned that
he'd always wanted to see "the birthplace of _la movida_". Is that
some kind of sports car?
Well, I can tell you the city he went to is 70
km from Toledo.
I did hear this lady say she wanted to check
out Salvador Dalí's old college dorm room.
I did hear this man say he wanted to check out
Salvador Dalí's old college dorm room.
I told your friend if she's an art lover, she
has to see The Clothed Maja, as well as The Naked Maja.
I told your friend if he's an art lover, he
has to see The Clothed Maja, as well as The Naked Maja. He seemed a lot more
interested in the second one.
She was raving that she'd finally have a
chance to see her favorite Bosch in the flesh - or you know, whatever it's
painted on.
He was raving that he'd finally have a chance
to see his favorite Bosch in the flesh - or you know, whatever it's painted on.
Your friend mentioned he was going to the
city's old General Hospital to see a "woman in blue"?
Your friend mentioned she was going to the
city's old General Hospital to see a "woman in blue"?
If I were you, I'd make your way to the city
named the "place of many streams."
He was determined to get there in time for a
specific feast day, I know that much.
I'm not sure where he went, but he talked
about something precious connected to the patron saint of the lottery?
He told me he was headed to a monestary to see
a local miracle. It was a little like watching water turn into wine, but in
this case, he wanted to watch blood turn into ... blood?
He said he was planning to meet someone in a
traffic circle by a famous statue of a fertility goddess.
She said she was planning to meet someone in a
traffic circle by a famous statue of a fertility goddess.
I overheard him suggesting two rendezvous
points. The first was by a statue of
Neptune, and the other was right down the street.
I overheard her suggesting two rendezvous
points. The first was by a statue of
Neptune, and the other was right down the street.
Rumor has it he's staying at the ritziest
hotel in the city, down the hall from where a famous anarchist leader succumbed
to his wounds.
I remember him. He said he wanted to catch a
look at the king while he was in town, so I reminded him to go to Zarzuela
Palace, not the Royal Palace.
I'm not sure where she went, but she talked
about something precious connected to the patron saint of the lottery?
She was determined to get there in time for a
specific feast day, I know that much.
She told me she was headed to a monestary to
see a local miracle. It was a little like watching water turn into wine, but in
this case, she wanted to watch blood turn into ... blood?
She said she was planning to meet someone in a
traffic circle by a famous statue of a fertility goddess.
I think he's hiding out in El Rastro, by the
"Tanners' Riverbank."
He was determined to get there in time for a
specific feast day, I know that much.
I remember her. She said she wanted to catch a
look at the king while she was in town, so I reminded her to go to Zarzuela
Palace, not the Royal Palace.
I remember him. He said he wanted to catch a
look at the king while she was in town, so I reminded him to go to Zarzuela
Palace, not the Royal Palace.
Rumor has it he's staying at the ritziest
hotel in the city, down the hall from where a famous anarchist leader succumbed
to his wounds.
Rumor has it she's staying at the ritziest
hotel in the city, down the hall from where a famous anarchist leader succumbed
to his wounds.
I know where your suspect went, and he should
be there for a while - he bought season tickets at the Estadio Santiago
Bernabéu.
I know where your suspect went, and she should
be there for a while - she bought season tickets at the Estadio Santiago
Bernabéu.
I can lead you to your friend here, but you
better move fast - she's days away from leaving town by train from Chamartín.
Barcelona,
Spain
Last I heard she was at Els Quatre Gats. She
had a hunch Picasso might've carved his initials on one of the tables.
She sent me this cell phone photo of Antoni
Tàpies' wire sculpture Cloud and Chair. Eh, I prefer regular art. Like those
pictures of fruitbowls.
Yeah, I know her. I saw her once taking a drink from the Font
de Canaletes, and according to local legend, that means she'll be back there
soon.
She was trying to stowaway on one of those
double-decker boats, I think they're called 'swallows.'
I found this photo she took, of a sculpture of
a Chinese dragon hanging in front of a store.
Does this look familiar?
She sent me this postcard, from a palace she
visited. Above the entrance you can see
a sculpture of Sant Jordi fighting the Dragon.
The city you're looking for is filthy with great
20th century mosaics. Here, look at the one in this photo: they just stuck it
in the street, by this sculpture of a lizard.
Here, look at this postcard I got. Check out
the beautiful twin octagonal bell towers on this cathedral.
He was at town hall, posing for a picture by a
sculpture of three gypsy boys.
I saw her take Carrer de Jaume I to Plaça de
sant Jaume, and then duck back down Sant Honorat.
It's definitely a city that's hosted the
Olympics.
I know by the style of bathing suit she packed
that she went somewhere by the Mediterranean.
Sure, I know exactly where your perp went.
Here's a photo he took of himself pretending to ride Botero's "The
Cat."
I tipped him off to the restaurant with the
best escudella i carn d’olla in the city. So of course he ordered a
cheeseburger.
I tipped her off to the restaurant with the
best escudella i carn d'olla in the city. So of course she ordered a
cheeseburger.
You know, I heard they're redeveloping Las
Arenas to turn it from a bullring to a mixed-use space. Don't you think it
would still smell like bull?
He was at town hall, posing for a picture by a
sculpture of three gypsy boys.
Oh yeah, that's the guy who was stage-diving
at a Macaco concert.
He sent me this cell phone photo of Antoni
Tàpies' wire sculpture Cloud and Chair. Eh, I prefer regular art. Like those
pictures of fruitbowls.
A friend of mine saw him coming out of the
Drassanes stop, check out the Museu de l' Erotica, and then sneak out five
minutes later, blushing.
Maybe this is a clue. She e-mailed me this
picture of a fountain topped by a sculpture of a woman, holding an umbrella.
Maybe this is a clue. He e-mailed me this
picture of a fountain topped by a sculpture of a woman, holding an umbrella.
She said something about geocaching in Parc de
Collserola.
He said something about geocaching in Parc de
Collserola.
Sounds like she's down on her luck. Last I
heard she was in the cloisters of a cathedral, trying to steal bread from the
geese.
Sounds like he's down on her luck. Last I
heard he was in the cloisters of a cathedral, trying to steal bread from the
geese.
Where did he go ... I'm trying to think of it
but I've got a song stuck in my head, the one Luara Hayrapetyan sang at
Eurovision in 2009. Eh, it'll come to
me.
Where did she go ... I'm trying to think of it
but I've got a song stuck in my head, the one Luara Hayrapetyan sang at
Eurovision in 2009. Eh, it'll come to
me.
He's headed to
the site of the 1888 Universal Exposition.
She's headed to the site of the 1888 Universal Exposition.
I know by the style of bathing suit he packed
that he went somewhere by the Mediterranean.
I know by the style of bathing suit she packed
that he went somewhere by the Mediterranean.
It's definitely a city that's hosted the
Olympics.
She went
to the zoo to see Snowflake the gorilla. When they told her Snowflake
had... passed, oh, she cried and cried.
He went
to the zoo to see Snowflake the gorilla. When they told him Snowflake
had... passed, oh, he cried and cried.
Yeah, he
was trying to get treatment for his gout at the Hospital de la Santa Creu. I
had to break it to him that they don't treat patients anymore.
Yeah, she
was trying to get treatment for his gout at the Hospital de la Santa Creu. I
had to break it to her that they don't treat patients anymore.
London,
England
He told me he'd be passing secret messages
along the Whispering Gallery.
He could be hiding underground on the River
Fleet.
I only know that he was headed to some old
thing designed by Sir Christopher Wren.
What I wouldn't give to have caught a show at
the UFO Club in its heyday.
I know he's a sports fan. He told me the city
where he's going will be the first to host the Summer Olympics three times.
I told her I was walking across the Square one
day when I saw a tiny police station - just big enough for one person. If you had a cop on duty, where would you put
a prisoner?
I warned her that if she's in Silvertown and
sees the Barrier on the river go up, then she'd better put on her wellies.
I suggested he check out a replica of a great
ship that sailed around the world - I think it was called The Pelican.
If you have a problem of truly national
importance, just knock on the door at Number 10 and see if they can give you
some advice.
I'll tell you where he's going, using the old
Celtic name for the city's river: Lowonidonjon.
I told her where she could see "The
Rake's Progress." I just hope she
learns something from it.
I know she's staying someplace by the Thames.
She told me that one of their kings got
married to the widow next door - and she'd been married seven times before!
I told her if she ever needs a place for a
duel, she could always try Green Park.
He was really eager to go to the Coliseum -
and check out the revolving stage.
I warned him that if he's in Silvertown
and sees the Barrier on the river go up,
then he'd better put on his wellies.
She might be over at Peter Pan's hospital,
trying to steal candy from babies.
He might be over at Peter Pan's hospital,
trying to steal candy from babies.
She begged me, "Whatever happens, don't
let them throw me in The Clink!"
He begged me, "Whatever happens, don't
let them throw me in The Clink!"
Here, I showed him this charcoal wall rubbing
I made on my last trip. See? It's the
word "Jane," right here.
Here, I showed her this charcoal wall rubbing
I made on my last trip. See? It's the
word "Jane," right here.
I gave him a warning: if he spots seven black
birds flying out of the city, things are about to get dodgy.
I gave her a warning: if he spots seven black
birds flying out of the city, things are about to get dodgy.
You know, he mentioned the Krays were guests
at the first place he'd be visiting.
Maybe they'll book a room for him too?
You know, she mentioned the Krays were guests
at the first place she'd be visiting.
Maybe they'll book a room for her too?
Yes, I know exactly where she is! But what the
Dickens is she doing there?
Yes, I know exactly where he is! But what the
Dickens is he doing there?
She mentioned that where she's going, there's
a tower named after a meat extract. You're not exactly going to the culinary
capital of the world.
He mentioned that where he's going, there's a
tower named after a meat extract. You're not exactly going to the culinary
capital of the world.
Kiev,
Ukraine
He planned to encounter a weeping widow at 23
Lyuteranska Street.
She planned to encounter a weeping widow at 23
Lyuteranska Street.
I wish I could have gone with him! I've always
wanted to see where the Turbin family lived in The White Guard.
I wish I could have gone with her! I've always
wanted to see where the Turbin family lived in The White Guard.
You might
find her visiting the castle of a lionhearted king. Though something tells me
Richard I never lived there.
She's always been fascinated by the history of the Great Patriotic War
She's always been fascinated by the history of the Great Patriotic War
You might
find him visiting the castle of a lionhearted king. Though something tells me
Richard I never lived there.
He's always been fascinated by the history of the Great Patriotic War
He's always been fascinated by the history of the Great Patriotic War
She was either arriving at KBP or IEV, but now I can't
remember which
He was either arriving at KBP or IEV, but now I can't
remember which
She could be wandering around Maidan Nezalezhnost, looking
for a monument to Berehynia
He could be wandering around Maidan Nezalezhnost, looking for
a monument to Berehynia
Istanbul,
Turkey
If she's coming from Europe, look for her at
Sirkeci Gari.
She mentioned she was swinging by the capital
of the Byzantine Empire. Or did she say the capital of the Ottoman Empire?
He told me his great aunt had an old savings
account in Bankalar Caddesi that he was going to check up on.
She told me her greataunt had an old savings
account in Bankalar Caddesi that she was going to check up on.
He was going to rummage through an exhibit of
a great Ottoman general.
He left me a voice mail at around three
o'clock his time, and you can just hear a military band starting to play. Dig
that kettledrum!
I was just telling him how to find the best
kokoreç in the Balik Pazari.
I told her ever since that incident with the
sultan's daughter, tourists have been asked not to bring any asps. If you have
one, leave it ashore.
She said she might ride into the city from
Paris on the Orient Express. Oh, I hope there isn't a murder!
You might spot her keeping a lookout from a
tower in the river. Which river? I forgot to ask.
I heard her plan a rendezvous at the
Serpentine Column.
She said she was looking for a dashing new
fez, so I told her to stroll down Fesçiler and see what caught her eye.
She said she was headed somewhere
"grand" and "bizarre," or at least that's what I heard.
She told me her greataunt had an old savings
account in Bankalar Caddesi that she was going to check up on.
She might be staying in the old Pera
neighborhood.
Odds are you'll find him lurking around the
Harem.
He dropped this photo. I don't know where this
is, but it reminds me of an old Peter Ustinov movie.
He wanted to see if the palace was really like
Mozart made it sound.
I'll tell you where to find him: head into the
Egyptian Bazaar, and hang a left onto Mat Maker's Street.
I'll tell you where to find her: head into the
Egyptian Bazaar, and hang a left onto Mat Maker's Street.
Instead of sending her to all the same old
mosques in town, I told her to try the new one.
She'd heard of a palace where all the clocks
are stopped at five past nine, so she wanted to go and wind them all.
When she told me where she was going, I asked
her to pick up a few spices for me.
When he told me where he was going, I asked
him to pick up a few spices for me.
I hear your suspect was going to sail across
the Black Sea and then take a left on the Bosphorus to get to the city.
He was feeling a little down, so I told him to
check out the Blue Mosque.
He left me a voice mail at around three
o'clock his time, and you can just hear a military band starting to play. Dig
that kettledrum!
I'm sure he'll catch a Belediye game while
he's in town.
I'm sure she'll catch a Belediye game while
she's in town.
I was just telling her how to find the best
kokoreç in the Balik Pazari.
I was just telling him how to find the best
kokoreç in the Balik Pazari.
I heard her giving directions to someone:
"Start at the Milion, and walk two thousand paces due west."
I heard him giving directions to someone:
"Start at the Milion, and walk two thousand paces due west."
You might find him looking at kilims at the
Vakiflar Carpet Museum. Make sure you wipe your feet before you enter.
You might find her looking at kilims at the
Vakiflar Carpet Museum. Make sure you wipe your feet before you enter.
Dubai,
United Arab Emirates
She's an avid boat racer. I'll bet you'll find her competing in the
abra race on the Creek.
She said she's heading to a palm tree out in
the water?
She was whispering to her contact on the
phone: "Are you staying on the Golden Mile or out on a frond?"
You might find her trying to crash a party at
Sheikh Saeed's house.
I heard she's going there to shop - for a
month! She said it's an official city
event?
I told her she'd be in town for the shopping
festival, so she tried to bump her flight to the shoplifting festival.
I heard she's at a party, telling everyone
she's tight with the Al Maktoum family.
She said she was going to the "city of
gold." But which one?
He said he was going to the "city of
gold." But which one?
He asked a lot of questions about manmade
islands and how long they might last. I wonder if he's planning to visit one?
I asked where he's going and he simply said,
"The World."
He was going to swim from the United Kingdom
to North America, and then paddle back to Africa. I'm just telling you what he
told me.
I believe she went to the second-largest of
the United Arab Emirates.
They spotted her running past Ali bin Abi
Talib Mosque and into the souk.
He's taking in the view from At the Top. So
that means he's … far from the bottom?
He told me he's passing through the Perfume
Souq. I told him that a shower works, too
I heard he's going there to shop - for a
month! He said it's an official city
festival!
I heard she's going there to shop - for a
month! She said it's an official city
festival!
If he's there for the championships in
February and March, you'll probably find him at the Tennis Stadium.
If she's there for the championships in
February and March, you'll probably find her at the Tennis Stadium.
You might find him trying to crash a party at
Sheikh Saeed's house.
I told him he'd be in town for the shopping
festival, so he tried to bump his flight to the shoplifting festival.
He's holed up in a vacant apartment at the top
of a giant skyscraper.
She's holed up in a vacant apartment at the
top of a giant skyscraper.
She said something about scaling a replica of
a Hymenocallis.
He said something about scaling a replica of a
Hymenocallis.
He made a beeline to the Gold Souk. He's probably still there, asking for free
samples.
She made a beeline to the Gold Souk. She's probably still there, asking for free
samples.
Times are tight. You might catch him sleeping
in the stacks at Al Twar Public Library.
Times are tight. You might catch her sleeping
in the stacks at Al Twar Public Library.
You might find him camping out in the Jumeirah
Archaeological Site, looking to see if anything's left.
You might find her camping out in the Jumeirah
Archaeological Site, looking to see if anything's left.
She might sneak in by dhow and arrive at the
Wharfage.
He might sneak in by dhow and arrive at the
Wharfage.
I asked where she's going and she simply said,
"The World."
I asked where he's going and he simply said,
"The World."
Tel Aviv,
Israel
"She wanted me to help her stakeout the
Azrieli Center. But with the nice food court in there, I said, why not
steak-in?"
She kept saying she wanted a falafel, which is
an Israeli fried chick-pea sandwich. I
said if she eats enough of them she'll sure feel awful.
She was headed to a rave by the
Mediterranean. I always thought you
needed more than one Mediterranean for a rave.
She wanted to go somewhere known for its
influential high-tech industry. I told her to stay away from drugs.
She's headed to a Mediterranean city famous
for its beaches. That narrows it down, right?
I asked if she was into beach volleyball, and
she answered by furiously brandishing her Kadima paddle.
She asked if we had any crates large enough to
fit a fountain by Agam. I said no, and told her to try across the street at
Plazas, Public Squares, and Beyond.
Oh yeah, real demanding customer. Wouldn't
settle for one newspaper. Wanted to go to the headquarters of Ha'aretz, Maariv,
AND Yedioth Ahronot.
All I know is, he was headed to a Mediterranean
port.
He seemed determined to get to the Promised
Land, and I don't think he meant it as a metaphor.
He asked for directions to a White City where
he could go house hunting. Then he clarified: Bauhaus hunting.
He was unusually interested in intercontinental
land-bridges. I guessed he was a civil-tectonic engineer.
She wanted to see a basketball team with 5
European Championships, but was hoping to avoid Europe.
He wanted to see a basketball team with 5
European Championships, but was hoping to avoid Europe.
She said she wanted to go to study in a
kibbutz at the School for Overseas Students. I hope they have a short term,
because I doubt she'll be there long.
She said she was going somewhere she could
stroll like a Rothschild, but was worried the Mediterranean air would damage
her strolling hat.
She was unusually interested in
intercontinental land-bridges. I guessed she was a civil-tectonic engineer.
She said she was going to the Nachalat
Binyamin, and the Palmach Musuem--she sounded like she had something nasty
caught in her throat.
When she mentioned "Dizengoff," I
said, "What did you call me?" She took off down the street after
that.
She asked for directions to a White City where
she could go house hunting. Then she clarified: Bauhaus hunting.
She wanted somewhere to lay low for a season.
So I sold her tickets to a city whose name partly translates as
"Spring." Though from what I hear the Mediterranean weather's good
all year round.
Oh yeah, real demanding customer. Wouldn't
settle for one newspaper. Wanted to go to the headquarters of Ha'aretz, Maariv,
AND Yedioth Ahronot.
He wanted somewhere to lay low for a season.
So I sold him tickets to a city whose name partly translates as
"Spring." Though from what I hear the Mediterranean weather's good all
year round.
He wanted tickets to a National Theater that
could only be called "The Stage." Since I didn't understand, I
offered him orchestra seats to our performance of "Seussical."
She wanted tickets to a National Theater that
could only be called "The Stage." Since I didn't understand, I
offered her orchestra seats to our performance of "Seussical."
She was booked on a flight to Ben Gurion. The airport, not
the person.
He was booked on a flight to Ben Gurion. The airport, not the
person.
Jeddah,
Saudi Arabia
The city she's in was a big deal back when it
was part of the Hejaz province.
Odds are she's picking parrot fish at the market
in Al-Balad.
I noticed she had a copy of "Okaz"
tucked under her arm, opened to the sports page.
The city he's in was a big deal back when it
was part of the Hejaz province.
He went to the largest city of Mekkah Province
in Saudi Arabia.
I just heard him say, "Meet me by the
Giant Bicycle."
I overheard him giving directions to someone.
He said something about driving past the Henry Moore sculpture?
Last time I saw him, he was on the eve of
flying to the Grandmother City.
Here's all I overheard: "Hang a left by
the Joan Miró."
He just walked by here with an Arabic
phrasebook, and I could swear he was practicing a Hejazi dialect.
She just walked by here with an Arabic
phrasebook, and I could swear she was practicing a Hejazi dialect.
Look for him in the elevator at IDB Tower,
practicing his elevator pitch.
Look for her in the elevator at IDB Tower,
practicing his elevator pitch.
I just heard a snippet of his phone call:
"If you pass at least 312 meters overhead, you won't get wet."
I just heard a snippet of her phone call:
"If you pass at least 312 meters overhead, you won't get wet."
He's in the King's old palace - although now I
believe it's an archeology museum. Go see what you can dig up!
She's in the King's old palace - although now
I believe it's an archeology museum. Go see what you can dig up!
He said something about visiting a
superpowered water fountain? I know he brought his swimsuit.
She said something about visiting a
superpowered water fountain? I know she brought his swimsuit.
I'll bet he's at Ibn Sina National College for
Medical Studies, posing as a cadaver. I guess his other disguises took too much
effort.
I'll bet she's at Ibn Sina National College
for Medical Studies, posing as a cadaver. I guess her other disguises took too
much effort.
You'll find him posing as a senior
vice-president of a multinational concern, up on King Abdullah Street.
You'll find her posing as a senior
vice-president of a multinational concern, up on King Abdullah Street.
She just walked by here with an Arabic
phrasebook, and I could swear she was practicing a Hejazi dialect.
He just walked by here with an Arabic
phrasebook, and I could swearshe was practicing a Hejazi dialect.
She was asking me where she could find
silver-plated wedding slippers? Luckily
I knew just the museum.
He was asking me where he could find
silver-plated wedding slippers? Luckily
I knew just the museum.
He was
spotted swimming south across the Sharm of Salman.
She was
spotted swimming south across the Sharm of Salman.
He said
something about going to see the only Gordon Bunshaft building in Asia.
She said
something about going to see the only Gordon Bunshaft building in Asia.
Cairo,
Egypt
She told me if she gets in a bind, she'll try
to sneak out of town in Khedive Ismail's carriage.
When she told me where she's going, I
suggested she check out the Agricultural Museum. The "museum of bread" is a
can't-miss!
I don't know which city she went to, but I
heard her say she may head south of it to El-Jadida. And I know V.I.L.E. has a safehouse in the
Cité Portugaise.
She's staying near Amr's old "City of the
Tent."
He's staying near Amr's old "City of the
Tent."
She was going to meet someone at the mausoleum
of a Sultana, I know that much.
You might find her sliding down Joseph's Well
- you know, the Well of the Snail.
She's meeting someone at the Ghuriya to see
the Whirling Dervishes.
He's meeting someone at the Ghuriya to see the
Whirling Dervishes.
I heard him tell someone to meet him at the
mosque - "the one with the spiral minaret."
He said he was looking for a woman from Crete?
When I told him, "Try Crete," he waved me off in annoyance.
He might be at the Textile Museum - you know,
the one they put in Ismail's building.
She told me she was visiting the Canal, and I
asked her to sing an aria from "Aida" for me while she's there.
She's going to a museum. Does that narrow it
down?
She said she was about to complete her
collection of "Famous Death Masks" souvenir highball glasses.
I thought she said something about the Queen
Mother, but she said no - she meant the Queen Mummy.
Look for her by the Mameluke monuments on the
Street of the Coppersmiths.
You might catch her riding the only subway on
the continent.
He's going to a museum. Does that narrow it
down?
If she's in town for it, there's no way she'd
miss the big match between Al-Ahly and El Zamalek.
I suggested she see the tomb of Mohammed Ali,
but she told me she's not a boxing fan.
I suggested he see the tomb of Mohammed Ali,
but he told me he's not a boxing fan.
Look for her by the Mameluke monuments on the
Street of the Coppersmiths.
Look for him by the Mameluke monuments on the
Street of the Coppersmiths.
She told me she was going to visit the remains
of the "Tree of Pearls?"
He told me he was going to visit the remains
of the "Tree of Pearls?"
She was going to meet someone at the mausoleum
of a Sultana, I know that much.
He was going to meet someone at the mausoleum
of a Sultana, I know that much.
She told me she'll be hanging around an old
Coptic church.
He told me he'll be hanging around an old
Coptic church.
I heard she's climbing up to a "staircase
church?"
I heard he's climbing up to a "staircase
church?"
He could be holed up by the ruins of Fustat.
She could be holed up by the ruins of Fustat.
I thought he said something about the Queen
Mother, but he said no - he meant the Queen Mummy.
I thought she said something about the Queen
Mother, but she said no - she meant the Queen Mummy.
He said he was about to complete his
collection of "Famous Death Masks" souvenir highball glasses.
She said she was about to complete his
collection of "Famous Death Masks" souvenir highball glasses.
Look for him by the Mameluke monuments on the
Street of the Coppersmiths.
Look for her by the Mameluke monuments on the
Street of the Coppersmiths.
To help
him pass the time on his trip, I lent him a couple of books by Naguib Mahfouz.
To help
her pass the time on his trip, I lent her a couple of books by Naguib Mahfouz.
You might
find her sliding down Joseph's Well - you know, the Well of the Snail
He walked by humming "Ya Zalemni." When I asked him about it, he said he was going to a museum dedicated to its creator.
He walked by humming "Ya Zalemni." When I asked him about it, he said he was going to a museum dedicated to its creator.
You might
find him sliding down Joseph's Well - you know, the Well of the Snail
He walked by humming "Ya Zalemni." When I asked him about it, he said he was going to a museum dedicated to its creator.
He walked by humming "Ya Zalemni." When I asked him about it, he said he was going to a museum dedicated to its creator.
You might
find her sliding down Joseph's Well - you know, the Well of the Snail
He walked by humming "Ya Zalemni." When I asked her about it, she said she was going to a museum dedicated to its creator.
He walked by humming "Ya Zalemni." When I asked her about it, she said she was going to a museum dedicated to its creator.
Giza,
Egypt
He stopped by the Nile and caught a cab
southwest.
When he told me where he was going, I
suggested he brush up on his riddles.
She stopped by the Nile and caught a cab
southwest.
She swore she'd see each of the Seven Wonders
of the Ancient World. I had to break it to her that only one is still standing.
He scheduled a rendezvous by the resting place
of Wepemnofret.
They say the neighborhood he's in only took
off because Dahshur was full.
She mentioned she's a big fan of Tura
limestone. I told her where she could find about as much as she can stand.
He's looking for a 4,500-year old boat,
wooden, good for sunbathing. I had one in mind, but I warned him it's sort of
in drydock.
She said something about comparing the size of
the Queen's and King's chambers. Is she booking a hotel room?
I only know that she's headed to a great place
to rest.
She said something about a "stone
bench" on the Plateau?
I suspect she's poking around a mud-brick
tomb. She brought her mud-brick pickaxe
and everything.
She's off to what in ancient times was called
"kher neter."
She's looking for a 4,500-year old boat,
wooden, good for sunbathing. I had one in mind, but I warned her it's sort of
in drydock.
He mentioned something about getting a tip on
the whereabouts of a missing nose?
While she's in the neighborhood, she's sure to
catch El Tersana play.
While he's in the neighborhood, he's sure to
catch El Tersana play.
She said something about an ancient
"solar barge"? Does she mean
solar-powered? Because I thought boats used wind.
She's going to borrow a boat out in the
desert.
He swore he'd see each of the Seven Wonders of
the Ancient World. I had to break it to him that only one is still standing.
Casablanca,
Morocco
I'll tell you where to find him. Just head for the Chawiya plain in
Morocco. You can't miss it.
The popular name for the city where you're
headed is simply "Casa," or "Kaza."
He left this rather cryptic note: "Head
for the White House, in Africa." Isn't the White House in Washington,
D.C.?
If your suspect lingers there too long, he's
gonna regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest
of his life.
If your suspect lingers there too long, she's
gonna regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest
of her life.
He did say that on his way from the airport,
he was going to stop by Bouskoura. As he put it, "Sometimes you've gotta
stop and smell the Eucalyptus."
Here, he did drop a photo of this giant clock
tower looming over a medina.
It's a little known fact that your suspect's
scared of the dark. You might find her
sleeping by a lighthouse.
She did say that on her way from the airport,
she was going to stop by Bouskoura. As she put it, "Sometimes you've gotta
stop and smell the Eucalyptus."
You know, she did say something about
shlepping her sleeping bag to El Hank.
He didn't give me a name, but he told me this
town was notorious as a launching place of the Barbary Corsairs.
He mentioned that he's headed to a place that
used to be called Anfa.
Look for him in the smallest riad in the
largest city in the Maghreb.
Oh, you're getting close. I heard the cops
were onto her, so she ducked into Pasha's courthouse and pretended to file
papers until they went away.
I'm pretty sure your suspect's planning a
rendezvous with a ship. She might be up
on the sqala keeping an eye on the seas.
Here, I'll show you on this map. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all
the world, she probably walked into... this one.
He could have ducked out of the city to Gare
Routière Ouled Ziana and taken a bus to... well, anywhere. Don't lose him!
The popular name for the city where you're
headed is simply "Casa," or "Kaza."
He's been shopping every day at the Marche
Central, on Boulevard Muhammad 5. He
told me the turtle soup's fantastic, if you're in the mood for a slow meal.
She's been shopping every day at the Marche
Central, on Boulevard Muhammad 5. She
told me the turtle soup's fantastic, if you're in the mood for a slow meal.
The suspect wanted to see the shooting
locations of "The Man Who Would Be King" and "Lawrence of
Arabia."
He's headed for a city right near the Dadès
and Drâa Valleys.
It's a little known fact that your suspect's
scared of the dark. You might find him
sleeping by a lighthouse.
It's a little known fact that your suspect's
scared of the dark. You might find her
sleeping by a lighthouse.
Look for her in the smallest riad in the
largest city in the Maghreb.
Look for him in the smallest riad in the
largest city in the Maghreb.
I heard your henchwoman's holed up where the
Ave des FAR meets Rue Sidi Belyout.
I heard your henchman's holed up where the Ave
des FAR meets Rue Sidi Belyout.
I'm pretty sure your suspect's planning a
rendezvous with a ship. He might be up
on the sqala keeping an eye on the seas.
I'm pretty sure your suspect's planning a
rendezvous with a ship. She might be up
on the sqala keeping an eye on the seas.
He's been shopping every day at the Marche
Central, on Boulevard Muhammad 5. He
told me the turtle soup's fantastic, if you're in the mood for a slow meal.
She's been shopping every day at the Marche
Central, on Boulevard Muhammad 5. She
told me the turtle soup's fantastic, if you're in the mood for a slow meal.
Marrakesh,
Morocco
He mentioned he was going to spend the day in
Abd el Moumen's old orchard, and maybe sneak an apricot while he's there. He
strikes me as a bit of a klepto.
He could flee in any direction - from Bab el
Khemis, Bab Debbagh, Bab Aylen or even Bab Aghmet. You'd better move fast!
He told me he was going to see the koubba that
the king built for his mother. Such a good, good son.
He was going to look for the remains of a
remarkable woman: the daughter of a slave who at night, was said to transform
into a bird.... Was it a pigeon? Something like that.
Odds are he flew into RAK.
He went up the mountain and over the Tizi
n'Test Pass! Hurry and you could catch him - but check your brakes first.
She went up the mountain and over the Tizi
n'Test Pass! Hurry and you could catch her - but check your brakes first.
I know he's a fan of Kawkab, in the Botola
league. Maybe he'll show up to see them?
I think I know where they went, but who would
have imagined that one of the most precious public spaces in that city owes a
debt to Yves Saint Laurent? Even the cacti have a je ne sais quoi.
I know she's a fan of Kawkab, in the Botola
league. Maybe she'll show up to see them?
She was looking forward to exploring a square
in the heart of the city, bumping into guerrab and Barbary apes and coming
face-to-snout with a cooked lamb's head.
He was looking forward to exploring a square
in the heart of the city, bumping into guerrab and Barbary apes and coming
face-to-snout with a cooked lamb's head.
She mentioned something about the square where
the dead assemble - although it always looked pretty alive to me.
I told her the best place to find snake
charmers. She told me that she's a little more of a snake harmer, herself.
She got in trouble recently, playing hide and
seek with some kids in the Saadian tombs.
I know he's a fan of Kawkab, in the Botola
league. Maybe he'll show up to see them?
I think I know where they went, but who would
have imagined that one of the most precious public spaces in that city owes a
debt to Yves Saint Laurent? Even the cacti have a je ne sais quoi
He's near a building where the booksellers
used to ply their wares. In fact, it takes its name from the Arabic for
"librarian", al-Koutoubiyyin.
She's near a building where the booksellers
used to ply their wares. In fact, it takes its name from the Arabic for
"librarian", al-Koutoubiyyin.
He's meeting someone near a mosque. Well, near
the new mosque. The old one was torn down when they realized it wasn't facing
Mecca. What can you do - it's not like
the builders had a GPS back then.
She's meeting someone near a mosque. Well,
near the new mosque. The old one was torn down when they realized it wasn't
facing Mecca. What can you do - it's not
like the builders had a GPS back then.
She was looking forward to exploring a square
in the heart of the city, bumping into guerrab and Barbary apes and coming
face-to-snout with a cooked lamb's head.
She told me she'd be visiting the beautiful
gardens of the Almoravid sultans. There's a ruin of a Saadian palace where she
might be hiding.
He told me he'd be visiting the beautiful
gardens of the Almoravid sultans. There's a ruin of a Saadian palace where he
might be hiding.
You'll find her playing her version of
"Dueling Banjos" on the ginbris at Abdelatif Instruments.
You'll find him playing him version of
"Dueling Banjos" on the ginbris at Abdelatif Instruments.
She decided to duck through Bab el Makhzen,
after I told her it's not just for sultans anymore.
He decided to duck through Bab el Makhzen,
after I told him it's not just for sultans anymore.
She's
headed to a city that's perched by the High Atlas mountains.
He's
headed to a city that's perched by the High Atlas mountains.
I
suggested she walk past the Medersa Ben Youssef, but she told me she's had an
aversion to schools ever since a note-passing offense sent her down the path to
a life of ill-doing.
I
suggested he walk past the Medersa Ben Youssef, but he told me he's had an
aversion to schools ever since a note-passing offense sent him down the path to
a life of ill-doing.
Lagos,
Nigeria
She mentioned something about kayaking down
the creek to Snake Island.
She told me she's headed for 'Las Gidi.' I told her to stop trying to sound hip and
call it by its real name.
She's holed up in a megacity on the Gulf of
Guinea.
Wole Soyinka, the first African to win the
Nobel for Literature, once taught in this city. Your friend here was going to
look up his books, but a spy thriller grabbed her first.
Well, I did see her carrying around a beach
towel with "Eleko" written on it.
She's going to a city that takes its name from
the word for 'lagoon.'
Well, I know that the name of the suburb where
she's staying translates to 'three shore.'
Last time I ran into her, she passed along
this terrific recipe for pepper soup she picked up at a chop bar.
I know your suspect is headed for a major port
in West Africa. Does that narrow it
down?
Let's see, she did mention something about
sailing away in a tin can. Or did she
say she was sailing to Tin Can?
She mentioned she was headed for "a
papa." Whose papa, I wonder?
She burns easy, she hates the heat - why did
they send her to set up a safehouse in Maroko?
She said she'd be busy, but she swore she'd
make time to see the Dodan Warriors play.
Last I heard, he was racing to Victoria Island
from the mainland. Well, racing as fast as you can in the "go-slow."
Word on the street is that he's holed up in a
megacity by the Bight of Benin. And if you find out what a 'bight' is, tell me!
Here, your friend dropped this scrap of stationery.
I think this is a city seal - look, it shows a shield divided in red, yellow,
and blue, with palm trees on either side.
Oh sure, I know where he's going. He's headed
to Èkó.
I heard a spy satellite spotted him stuck in
traffic on the Badagari Expressway.
Unfortunately the police couldn't move any faster than he did, and he
got away.
I got this e-mail from her, about an exciting
business opportunity to help the Minister Finance retrieve a lost inheritance
worth $12 million.... I think I need a new spam filter.
Here, your friend dropped this scrap of
stationery. I think this is a city seal - look, it shows a shield divided in
red, yellow, and blue, with palm trees on either side.
I spotted her haggling with the vendors at
Mile 12 market. Most of the time she wound up paying more than they asked to
start with.
I spotted him haggling with the vendors at
Mile 12 market. Most of the time he wound up paying more than they asked to
start with.
Where'd she go? Well, she said something about
how she was dying to catch Lagbaja play at Motherlan'.
Hmm, where'd he go? The only clue I have is this letter with a
return address at Abraham Adesaya Estate.
Hmm, where'd she go? The only clue I have is this letter with a
return address at Abraham Adesaya Estate.
He was looking for a bust of Taiwo made from
melted-down pennies.
She was looking for a bust of Taiwo made from
melted-down pennies.
My friend in Interpol tells me he's been
spotted outside Iga Idunganran, seeking an audience with the Oba.
My friend in Interpol tells me she's been
spotted outside Iga Idunganran, seeking an audience with the Oba.
Kigali,
Rwanda
She told me she wanted a guide, but when I
offered to hire her one she said, "No, I'm looking for 'The Guide,'
Muhabura. The one next to 'the little pile of rocks.'"
He told me he wanted a guide, but when I
offered to hire him one he said, "No, I'm looking for 'The Guide,'
Muhabura. The one next to 'the little pile of rocks.'"
I heard he tried to use the pool at the Cercle
Sportif, but they wouldn't let him in.
I heard she tried to use the pool at the
Cercle Sportif, but they wouldn't let her in.
The way he was dressed? He had some sort of
Bryan Brown “Gorillas in the Mist” thing going.”
All I can tell you is that he’s at a memorial
site, either the Nyanza-Kicukiro or Rebero.
Either he’s visiting the setting of a Gil
Courtemanche novel or enjoying a Sunday at the pool. In fact, he may be doing
both.
From what I hear, she’s going to a country
that has a thousand hills and a million smiles. I’d look for her in its largest
city.
He asked me for a ticket to Bugesera
International Airport, but when I told him it didn’t have any flights yet he
just walked away.
He bragged to me that his contact there was an
extra in “Shooting Dogs.”
He came in here asking to exchange some money
for three “silverbacks.” It took me a minute to realize he wanted 15,000 FRw.
He could be southeast of the city picking up
some imigongo pieces—that is, if cow dung is his idea of art!
He did mention that he wanted to take a class
at Jean Damascene Ntawukuriryayo’s alma mater.
He didn’t say much about his destination, but
everyone who goes there visits the Gisozi Memorial.
He might be east of the city in the game lodge
of the Parc National de l’Akagera.
He walked through here singing “A karam ata”
at the top of his lungs. I know it’s a
public park, but c’mon man! Have some respect.
He was hoping to do a collaboration with Meddy
and The Ben while he was there, but word has it they’re on the lam too!
He was worried about his Kinyarwanda, but I
assured him he’d be able to get by in English or French.
Here, I found this copy of “Shake Hands with
the Devil” in her room after she left.
It’s not exactly light reading, so it may be a hint.
He’s at another hotel by now. A hotel in Rwanda,
to be more specific.
He’s cruising up Avenur de la Justice on a
mototaxi.
He’s in the city where Paul Resesabagina
earned his U.S. Presidential Medal of Freedom.
He’s paying his respects at Dian Fossey’s
tomb. Of course, then he’ll probably try to bag a golden monkey near the
volcanoes—he’s not exactly a conservationist.
He’s probably lounging by the pool at Milles
Collines with the other expats.
He’s seeking refuge at the site of the
massacre perpetrated by “those who work together.”
He’s shopping at Caplaki for some Congolese
tribal masks.
I pointed him in the direction of Rue
Kalisimbi, where he can get a fair price on woven baskets from the artisans
cooperative.
I’d look for her in a landlocked country in
Eastern Africa.
I’d look for him slightly off the beatn
path. In fact, he might be trekking
gorillas in Volcanoes National Park.
I’d start by looking for him outside the
city. There’s a fantastic view from
Kajumbura Hill.
If he didn’t take his malaria pills, he may
wind up in treatment at KHI.
If he gets into the community spirit, he might
spend his umuganda planting trees in Nyarugenge. All the shops will be closed anyway.
If he’s in the mood for live music, he might
be at the Centre D’Echanges Culturels Franco-Rwandais.
If you get too close, he might sneak over the
volcanoes into Uganda.
I’m almost positive he said something about
Chinese flamingos. It was very strange. He also said something about their
spring rolls, which was even stranger.
Knowing you friend, he’s probably inhaling
groundnut stew and ugali at Africa Bite.
Not to be a buzzkill, but I can really only
describe his destination as the site of a devastating genocide.
Seems like your friend’s trying to get lost in
a crowd! He says he’s heading for the most densely populated city in the most
densely populated country in Afica.
He may not be religious, but I told him he
simply has to visit the altar at Ntarama Church.
He said he was going to stop by Librairie
Caritas to pick up a copy of “L’Etrager.” We only had it in English.
He told me he wanted a guide, but when I
offered to hire him one he said, “No, I’m looking for ‘The Guide,’ Muhabura.
The one next to ‘the little pole of rocks.’”
He was planning to smuggle a growler or two
out of the Bralirwa Brewery, but when he sees the free hospital the company
houses she may have a change of heart.
He’s having his New Cadillac done at Carwash,
but not before ordering a drink!
He’s in a capital city populated by Hutus,
Tutsis, and Twa.
He’s in the capital city of a republic that
shares its borders with Burundi.
He’s paying his respects at Dian Fossey’s
tomb. Of course then he’ll probably try to bag a golden monkey near the
volcanoes—she’s not exactly a conservationist.
He’s planning a rendezvous at the Belgian
Soldiers’ Monument, behind the marker with the most lines.
He’s stopping somewhere in the city at a store
that carries dancing pots?
The city he’s visiting is closely related to
Kampala and San Bernardino. As cities go, they’re essentially kin.
The hutus arrived in the area in the 11th
century. He’s going there right now.
The way he was dressed? He had some sort of
Sigourney Weaver “Gorillas in the Mist” thing going.
Word has it he’s in the Great Lakes region. Of
Africa, that is.
You’ll find him sipping Maraba coffee at the
Bourban Café.
Your friend must have some international
clout. I hear he has a personal audience with Paul Kagame.
The way she was dressed? She had some sort of
Bryan Brown “Gorillas in the Mist” thing going.”
All I can tell you is that she’s at a memorial
site, either the Nyanza-Kicukiro or Rebero.
Either she’s visiting the setting of a Gil
Courtemanche novel or enjoying a Sunday at the pool. In fact, she may be doing
both.
From what I hear, she’s going to a country
that has a thousand hills and a million smiles. I’d look for her in its largest
city.
She asked me for a ticket to Bugesera
International Airport, but when I told her it didn’t have any flights yet she
just walked away.
She bragged to me that her contact there was
an extra in “Shooting Dogs.”
She came in here asking to exchange some money
for three “silverbacks.” It took me a minute to realize she wanted 15,000 FRw.
She could be southeast of the city picking up
some imigongo pieces—that is, if cow dung is her idea of art!
She did mention that she wanted to take a
class at Jean Damascene Ntawukuriryayo’s alma mater.
She didn’t say much about her destination, but
everyone who goes there visits the Gisozi Memorial.
She might be east of the city in the game
lodge of the Parc National de l’Akagera.
She walked through here singing “A karam ata”
at the top of her lungs. I know it’s a
public park, but c’mon man! Have some respect.
She was hoping to do a collaboration with
Meddy and The Ben while she was there, but word has it they’re on the lam too!
She was worried about her Kinyarwanda, but I
assured her she’d be able to get by in English or French.
Here, I found this copy of “Shake Hands with
the Devil” in her room after she left.
It’s not exactly light reading, so it may be a hint.
She’s at another hotel by now. A hotel in
Rwanda, to be more specific.
She’s cruising up Avenur de la Justice on a
mototaxi.
She’s in the city where Paul Resesabagina
earned her U.S. Presidential Medal of Freedom.
She’s paying her respects at Dian Fossey’s
tomb. Of course, then she’ll probably try to bag a golden monkey near the
volcanoes—she’s not exactly a conservationist.
She’s probably lounging by the pool at Milles
Collines with the other expats.
She’s seeking refuge at the site of the
massacre perpetrated by “those who work together.”
She’s shopping at Caplaki for some Congolese
tribal masks.
I pointed her in the direction of Rue
Kalisimbi, where she can get a fair price on woven baskets from the artisans
cooperative.
I’d look for her in a landlocked country in
Eastern Africa.
I’d look for her slightly off the beatn
path. In fact, she might be trekking
gorillas in Volcanoes National Park.
I’d start by looking for her outside the
city. There’s a fantastic view from
Kajumbura Hill.
If she didn’t take her malaria pills, she may
wind up in treatment at KHI.
If she gets into the community spirit, she
might spend her umuganda planting trees in Nyarugenge. All the shops will be closed anyway.
If she’s in the mood for live music, she might
be at the Centre D’Echanges Culturels Franco-Rwandais.
If you get too close, she might sneak over the
volcanoes into Uganda.
I’m almost positive she said something about
Chinese flamingos. It was very strange. She also said something about their
spring rolls, which was even stranger.
Knowing you friend, she’s probably inhaling
groundnut stew and ugali at Africa Bite.
Not to be a buzzkill, but I can really only
describe her destination as the site of a devastating genocide.
Seems like your friend’s trying to get lost in
a crowd! She says she’s heading for the most densely populated city in the most
densely populated country in Afica.
She may not be religious, but I told her she
simply has to visit the altar at Ntarama Church.
She said she was going to stop by Librairie
Caritas to pick up a copy of “L’Etrager.” We only had it in English.
She told me she wanted a guide, but when I
offered to hire her one she said, “No, I’m looking for ‘The Guide,’ Muhabura.
The one next to ‘the little pole of rocks.’”
She was planning to smuggle a growler or two
out of the Bralirwa Brewery, but when she sees the free hospital the company
houses she may have a change of heart.
She’s having her New Cadillac done at Carwash,
but not before ordering a drink!
She’s in a capital city populated by Hutus,
Tutsis, and Twa.
She’s in the capital city of a republic that
shares its borders with Burundi.
She’s paying her respects at Dian Fossey’s
tomb. Of course then she’ll probably try to bag a golden monkey near the
volcanoes—she’s not exactly a conservationist.
She’s planning a rendezvous at the Belgian
Soldiers’ Monument, behind the marker with the most lines.
She’s stopping somewhere in the city at a
store that carries dancing pots?
The city she’s visiting is closely related to
Kampala and San Bernardino. As cities go, they’re essentially kin.
The hutus arrived in the area in the 11th
century. She’s going there right now.
The way she was dressed? She had some sort of
Sigourney Weaver “Gorillas in the Mist” thing going.
Word has it she’s in the Great Lakes region.
Of Africa, that is.
You’ll find her sipping Maraba coffee at the
Bourban Café.
Your friend must have some international
clout. I hear she has a personal audience with Paul Kagame.
Bamako, Mali
She's hoping to catch the International
Percussion Festival while she's there. She even had the skin of her djembe
restretched for the occasion!
He's hoping to catch the International
Percussion Festival while he's there. He even had the skin of her djembe
restretched for the occasion!
I must admit I'm a bit jealous of your friend
there. I've always wanted to see a jeli speaking through the tamani.
I heard she approached Baba Sissoko after a
Taman Khan performance and asked for a drum lesson.
I heard he approached Baba Sissoko after a
Taman Khan performance and asked for a drum lesson.
She's going to a botanical garden near Dar
Salam, off Avenue de la Liberte.
He's going to a botanical garden near Dar
Salam, off Avenue de la Liberte.
I told him about a great dinner spot there, in
the Hippodrome.
I told her about a great dinner spot there, in
the Hippodrome.
He was
trying to track down a rare Yamadu Bani Dunbia recording.
She was
trying to track down a rare Yamadu Bani Dunbia recording.
Nairobi,
Kenya
Hmm - well, I know she's a big fan of African
novelists. I spotted her brushing up for her trip with a novel by Meja Mwangi.
I heard your suspect quote Eric Dutton, who in
1926 called the city, "a slatternly creature, unfit to queen it over so
lovely a country." Tough words, but I'll say this: Dutton doesn't look so
hot today himself.
Well, her favorite wild animal is the hippo,
but she settled for going to the Langata Giraffe Centre.
If she's in town, she's going to want to catch
a Mathare United game. I would look for her there.
I gave her directions in the city, and told
her to take a left on Moi, Haile Selassie, a right on Pumwani, and when she
sees the police, turn herself in. She didn't appreciate that.
You know, he did say something about going to
a professional to get his nyatiti tuned.
This gentleman? Based on where he was going, I
assumed he'd be headed out on Safari.
I told him that while he was there, he should
try the local nyama coma. Eat enough and
it'll put you in a--oh, you heard that one already.
We didn't talk much, but he mentioned that he
was going to a museum at an old coffee farm?
We didn't talk much, but she mentioned that
she was going to a museum at an old coffee farm?
I heard he was over there scouting some new
talent among the Marathon runners.
He mentioned something about the writer who
first made him fall in love with Africa. Of course, he saw the movie, he didn't
read the book.
She mentioned something about the writer who
first made her fall in love with Africa. Of course, she saw the movie, she
didn't read the book.
He said he was planning to swing by the old
farmhouse of one of his favorite Danish Baronesses.
I hear he's mingling with the ex-pats in
Westlands.
I hear she's mingling with the ex-pats in
Westlands.
I don't know if this gives you a clue, but
your friend here mentioned she's a huge fan of benga.
You know, she did say something about going to
a professional to get her nyatiti tuned.
I know where I last saw her, but I think she
fled town to lay low in Mavoko, also known as Athi River.
She went to the city but she fled by train.
Now, I can't remember - did she go west to
Kisumu to catch a boat on Lake Victoria, or east to Mombasa to scram via
the Indian Ocean? Eh... either way, it was someplace wet.
I know where I last saw him, but I think he
fled town to lay low in Mavoko, also known as Athi River.
I gave him directions in the city, and told
him to take a left on Moi, Haile Selassie, a right on Pumwani, and when he sees
the police, turn himself in. He didn't appreciate that.
He went to the city but he fled by train. Now,
I can't remember - did he go west to
Kisumu to catch a boat on Lake Victoria, or east to Mombasa to scram via
the Indian Ocean? Eh... either way, it was someplace wet.
I know he said something about picking up some
used D.O. Misiani & Shirati Jazz records.
Hmm, I'm not sure where this fellow went, but
he said something about a green city in the sun?
I heard he was over there scouting some new
talent among the Marathon runners.
Hmm, I'm not sure where this fellow went, but
he said something about a green city in the sun?
We didn't talk much, but he mentioned that he
was going to a museum at an old coffee farm?
We didn't talk much, but she mentioned that
she was going to a museum at an old coffee farm?
Your
suspect wanted to see the monuments to the first president, Jomo Kenyatta
Cape Town,
South Africa
She swore she was going to go abseiling on her
kloofing trip to Kamikaze Canyon, but I don't think she has the guts.
I suggested he check out the Silvermine Nature
Reserve, but he said he was more interested in the mine, thanks.
I heard him on his cell phone. He was telling
someone to meet him in van Riebeeck's old vegetable garden.
I can tell you that she's headed to the oldest
European town in the country.
I don't know the name of the town where she's
staying, but she said it belongs to Simon?
She went to one of the country's three
capitals.
Does she like cricket? What am I saying, who
doesn't like cricket? I'll bet you'll
find her at a Cobras game, trying to sneak into the good seats.
He just said he was going "zef side"
to show off some next level beats. I didn't know what he meant and I'm pretty
sure he didn't either.
She just said she was going "zef
side" to show off some next level beats. I didn't know what she meant, and
I'm pretty sure she didn't, either
I overheard him planning a rendezvous by a
memorial that overlooks the path of the "Cape to Cairo"? Have you
ever heard of such a thing?
She told me she always wanted to ride a
quagga. I hated to tell her it's too late.
I know she was planning to snag a ghost frog
while she's in town.
I overheard her say on the phone that she was
"digging Brand doing 'African Sun.'"
I told him to see if he can catch the
Jazzathon, but he told me he had weightier matters to attend to, and pointed at
his loot bag.
He's going to the home of one of my personal
naval heroes. Some said he was just a nuisance, but his courage and dedication
kept morale up all through the war.
All I know is, he wanted to visit a statue of
a great dane, and leave it some nice bronze dog biscuits.
She's in a kind of melting pot for trees,
where species from around the world are planted side by side. She asked me how
I thought they could communicate with each other?
When she told me where she was hiking, I
warned her not to let the babboons get her tea.
I just heard from her. She was enjoying a nice
hike, but she couldn't shake the elephant's eye.
I overheard her planning a rendezvous by a
memorial that overlooks the path of the "Cape to Cairo"? Have you
ever heard of such a thing?
He's in a kind of melting pot for trees, where
species from around the world are planted side by side. He asked me how I
thought they could communicate with each other?
When he told me where he was hiking, I warned
him not to let the babboons get his tea.
I just heard from him. He was enjoying a nice
hike, but he couldn't shake the elephant's eye.
I overheard him planning a rendezvous by a
memorial that overlooks the path of the "Cape to Cairo"? Have you
ever heard of such a thing?
Here, he dropped this photo - now, I'm no
penguinologist, but I could swear this is a Jackass Penguin! But I'd have to
hear it to be sure.
Here, she dropped this photo - now, I'm no
penguinologist, but I could swear this is a Jackass Penguin! But I'd have to
hear it to be sure.
I can tell you that he's headed to the oldest
European town in the country.
I don't know the name of the town where he's
staying, but he said it belongs to Simon?
I can tell you that she's headed to the oldest
European town in the country.
I don't know the name of the town where she's
staying, but she said it belongs to Simon?
He's a rugby fan, right? He might try to catch
a Stormers game while he's in town.
She's a rugby fan, right? She might try to
catch a Stormers game while she's in town.
You might catch him passing through Trafalgar
Place in the City Bowl.
You might catch her passing through Trafalgar
Place in the City Bowl.
Someone tipped him off that Milnerton Flea
market's a good place for antiques.
Someone tipped her off that Milnerton Flea
market's a good place for antiques.
A friend
of mine saw her up on Signal Hill. She was asking someone for the time when a
gun went off - and she said, "Got it, thanks!"
A friend
of mine saw him up on Signal Hill. He was asking someone for the time when a
gun went off - and he said, "Got it, thanks!"
She mentioned something about hunting for
acorns from an endangered silver tree?
He mentioned something about hunting for
acorns from an endangered silver tree?
He wanted to try to get a ride on a BAe
Buccaneer, but he said all the thunder in the city was scaring him off.
She wanted to try to get a ride on a BAe
Buccaneer, but she said all the thunder in the city was scaring him off.
Johannesburg,
South Africa
Carmen sent him to check out Sol Kerzner's
resort, but he refused. Steven Van Zandt song's really stuck with him.
You know, although it's a landlocked city, it
sits on the source of two major rivers, the Limpopo and the Orange. What? You
want to know where your suspect went? I just told you!
She went to Hillbrow to catch a show at the
Windybrow, but in the end, she decided she was too low-brow.
I hear the city started booming when they
found gold in Langlaagte, in 1886. Your friend went there to see if they have
any left.
You're going to what was once a gold boom
town. In fact, this is where I penned my near-hit, "She Got the Goldmine,
I Got the Shaft 14."
Oh, this guy - he was shouting at his phone
the other day. Kept yelling about "some old fossil" and "who
cares anyway" and "why can't I go to the amusement park."
Your suspect played a few demo tracks for me,
and I had to wonder: how would they play in Pretoria?
I overheard her say that if the fuzz got
close, she would skip town and hide in a nature reserve near Heidelberg.
I overheard him say that if the fuzz got
close, he would skip town and hide in a nature reserve near Heidelberg.
I heard her say something about going to watch
the Lions scrum on the field. But I'm not sure she meant the animal.
I heard she's going to flee the city by bus. I
would check the terminal at Gandhi Square.
I think he was shopping at the Oriental Plaza
along Jeppe Street.
The city where your friend went has seen rapid
growth the past few decades. Just in 2002, it absorbed the South-Western
Townships.
Oh, this guy - he was shouting at his phone
the other day. Kept yelling about "some old fossil" and "who
cares anyway" and "why can't I go to the amusement park."
Yes, I overheard this lady say something about
"the cradle" while she was walking by. I asked her, "What
cradle?" and she said, "Our cradle.
All of ours. THE
cradle." It was not a little
creepy!
I heard he got his hand slapped for asking
about the "off-menu" items at the African Herbalist's Shop.
I heard she got her hand slapped for asking
about the "off-menu" items at the African Herbalist's Shop.
Yes, I overheard this fellow say something
about "the cradle" while he was walking by. I asked him, "What cradle?"
and he said, "Our cradle. All of
ours. THE cradle." It was not a little creepy!
Yes, I overheard this lady say something about
"the cradle" while she was walking by. I asked her, "What
cradle?" and she said, "Our cradle.
All of ours. THE cradle." It was not a little creepy!
I know where he is. I bet him $10 he couldn't
beat a cheetah in a fair race at De
Wildt.
I'm not sure where your friend went, but he
did say something about the "shaft of terror"?
He said he's going swimming by a Gold Reef?
The city where your suspect went has such a
rich, complex history - and I worry that all it's known for now is the
vuvuzela.
Where did she go... I remember thinking that
Miriam Makeba was born there.
Where did he go... I remember thinking that
Miriam Makeba was born there.
Moscow,
Russia
Your suspect mentioned they wanted to see if
the girls were really the type to make Paul McCartney sing and shout.
He's a sucker for spy stuff, and he told me he
wanted to tour "the organs of the VChk-OGPU-NKVD-MGB-KGB-MB."
He's staying by a building that used to house
an insurance company. But it's better known as the home of the secret police.
She called to tell me that the body of their
Premier is still on display in the Square for everyone to gawk at. And she
thinks there's something wrong with its ear!
I warned him if he hears cannon fire, he
shouldn't panic: maybe he's just walking by a concert hall.
I warned her if she hears cannon fire, she
shouldn't panic: maybe she's just walking by a concert hall.
I'll be honest, I really only know this city
for its world-famous Cat Circus.
He told me he'd be going past a bell that
weighs just over 200 tons. I bet him he couldn't ring it with his head!
If it's May Day, look for her in the Square.
She'll be wearing red, of course.
If it's May Day, look for him in the Square.
He'll be wearing red, of course.
I heard her planning a rendezvous at a radio
tower - but I don't know which one.
She left this photo here. This looks like a
tower, and I'm no architect but I'd swear that's a hyperboloid structure.
By the size of his rabbit fur hat, I expect
he's heading to Deeky Zapad.
I told her she could visit Pushkin's museum
and then head right across the street to Tolstoy's! But she just asked if I
could help her find a Cliff Notes museum.
She was asking for directions to see Dmitry
and Kuzma in the Square.
She was planning a rendezvous by "a
butcher" and "a Prince."
She
whispered that she'd sneak into the fortress by climing along the bottom of the
Trinity bridge.
If she gets in a bind, she can escape through the secret passage in the Secret Tower
I know she's going to a building that's the center of government. In fact, they have 47 past rulers just lying around the place, I think for inspiration.
I warned her if she hears cannon fire, she shouldn't panic: maybe she's just walking by a concert hall.
He whispered that he'd sneak into the fortress by climing along the bottom of the Trinity bridge.
If he gets in a bind, he can escape through the secret passage in the Secret Tower
I know he's going to a building that's the center of government. In fact, they have 47 past rulers just lying around the place, I think for inspiration.
I warned him if he hears cannon fire, he shouldn't panic: maybe he's just walking by a concert hall.
I'll bet you'll find her at a Red Army game at the CSKA Ice Palace.
She called to tell me that the body of their Premier is still on display in the Square for everyone to gawk at. And she thinks there's something wrong with its ear!
If she gets in a bind, she can escape through the secret passage in the Secret Tower
I know she's going to a building that's the center of government. In fact, they have 47 past rulers just lying around the place, I think for inspiration.
I warned her if she hears cannon fire, she shouldn't panic: maybe she's just walking by a concert hall.
He whispered that he'd sneak into the fortress by climing along the bottom of the Trinity bridge.
If he gets in a bind, he can escape through the secret passage in the Secret Tower
I know he's going to a building that's the center of government. In fact, they have 47 past rulers just lying around the place, I think for inspiration.
I warned him if he hears cannon fire, he shouldn't panic: maybe he's just walking by a concert hall.
I'll bet you'll find her at a Red Army game at the CSKA Ice Palace.
She called to tell me that the body of their Premier is still on display in the Square for everyone to gawk at. And she thinks there's something wrong with its ear!
I'll bet
you'll find him at a Red Army game at the CSKA Ice Palace.
He called to tell me that the body of their Premier is still on display in the Square for everyone to gawk at. And he thinks there's something wrong with its ear!
He called to tell me that the body of their Premier is still on display in the Square for everyone to gawk at. And he thinks there's something wrong with its ear!
St.
Petersburg, Russia
She was going somewhere with a festival for
white knights?
He was going somewhere with a festival for
white knights?
As soon as
he heard you were looking for him, he took to Catherine the Great's heels.
He assured me he would "neva" take a dip in the river there, on account of all the zinc.
As soon as she heard you were looking for her, she took to Catherine the Great's heels.
She assured me she would "neva" take a dip in the river there, on account of all the zinc.
You might spot her at the Big House, snooping around for internal documents.
He assured me he would "neva" take a dip in the river there, on account of all the zinc.
As soon as she heard you were looking for her, she took to Catherine the Great's heels.
She assured me she would "neva" take a dip in the river there, on account of all the zinc.
You might spot her at the Big House, snooping around for internal documents.
You might spot him at the Big House, snooping
around for internal documents.
She was looking around for a summer palace
there. I told her perhaps she should consider a different season.
He was looking around for a summer palace there.
I told him perhaps he should consider a different season.
Your
friend must be letting his nerves get the best of him--he only managed to pinch
a few rubles from the pawnbroker woman, and he hid those under a rock!
Your
friend must be letting her nerves get the best of her--she only managed to
pinch a few rubles from the pawnbroker woman, and he shid those under a rock!
She might be sitting down to a picnic of borscht and blini in
Tauride Garden.
He might be sitting down to a picnic of borscht and blini in
Tauride Garden.
Wellington,
New Zealand
You're looking for a capital in the roaring
forties.
I remember her. She told me she could get me
tickets to see Bret and Jemaine play a show, but she never came through. Hey, do you know any supersecret
organizations that could score a front-row seat?
She asked me if I knew where to find a 1743
Addington cricket bat. Luckily I knew just the place.
He was headed to the Hutt Valley. Watch your
back when you go after him, and avoid getting frozen in Carbonite.
He mentioned going to visit an island nation.
She said something about catching the
Firebirds in Basin Reserve?
She said something about uprooting a really
old rimu.
She said something about blending in with the
Kiwis.
He mentioned something about the ferry crash
of 1968.
He said he wanted to scope out what they'd dug
up of Plimmer's pet project.
I heard him say something about visiting an
Ark?
She had big plans to visit the southernmost
capital in the world. Sounds like she's a sucker for superlatives.
She mentioned that a lot of movies get filmed
where she was going, because it helps production stay down under budget. Get
it?
He told me not to tell his boss, but he was
hoping to sneak off and catch the "Lord of the Rings" tour.
She told me not to tell his boss, but she was
hoping to sneak off and catch the "Lord of the Rings" tour.
He tried to get a gig at the television studio
of Capital E.
She's planning to swing by a well-loved
fountain. I think she was planning to pour detergent into it.
I suggested she take a stroll through the Lady
Norwood Rose Garden. She promised to ask Lady Norwood before she plucked
anything.
He's planning to swing by a well-loved
fountain. I think he was planning to pour detergent into it.
I suggested he take a stroll through the Lady
Norwood Rose Garden. He promised to ask Lady Norwood before she plucked
anything.
She said something about a kinetic sculpture
on Cuba?
He said something about a kinetic sculpture on
Cuba?
You might see her up on Brooklyn Hill, tilting
at a windmill.
You might see him up on Brooklyn Hill, tilting
at a windmill.
I remember him. He told me he could get me
tickets to see Bret and Jemaine play a show, but he never came through. Hey, do you know any supersecret
organizations that could score a front-row seat?
I remember her. She told me she could get me
tickets to see Bret and Jemaine play a show, but she never came through. Hey, do you know any supersecret
organizations that could score a front-row seat?
I recommended the name of a city to her, and
she asked, "Is that where they make the rubber boots?"
I recommended the name of a city to him, and
he asked, "Is that where they make the rubber boots?"
She said
something about a kinetic sculpture on Cuba?
He said
something about a kinetic sculpture on Cuba?
Sydney,
Australia
I told her to try a game of chess in Hyde
Park. She said she didn't want the whole park to be able to watch her lose.
I told him to try a game of chess in Hyde
Park. He said he didn't want the whole park to be able to watch him lose.
I told him to catch a show at the
Conservatorium, or as they used to call it, "Greenway's folly."
She was looking for inspiration, so she took a
stroll across the Writers' Walk. And at the end of the walk, she wrote me this
postcard. Look, she spelled everything correctly!
When she told me where she was going, I told
her to give my regards to King Dick.
She said she was going there on business, but
she confided that she was trying to land a role in a Baz Luhrmann flick.
I told her to enjoy her trip, but to watch out
for funnel-web spiders. Well, the boy ones, anyway.
He must have snuck into the harbour right
between the "wedding cakes."
You might find him standing outside Fox
Studios, near Bondi Beach, with his headshots.
Here, she left behind her smartphone, with
this photo on it. It looks like a big glass pyramid? But I can barely tell
what's growing inside it ... .
I know she was going to look for the first
farm ever planted by the colonists. She
was hoping to dig up some sweet heirloom vegetables.
Here, look on Facebook - I just found this
photo of her standing by a sandstone statue of Lysicrates.
She told someone on her phone to meet her at
the "Palm Grove."
I heard her talk about trying to steal a
building with a roof that's made of steel, but billows like a sail. Neat!
I know he's a lifelong Roosters fan. You might
catch him at a home game.
Here, he left behind this photo of a building
by the water. Look at the roof on that place - the locals say it was inspired
by orange peels, but I don't see it.
I know he's a lifelong Roosters fan. You might
catch him at a home game.
Here, look on Facebook - I just found this
photo of him standing by a sandstone statue of Lysicrates.
He hates to wear a watch. I asked him how he'd
know the time, and he told me he was staying near a tower that drops a ball at
1 PM every day. So, once a day he'll be
on time for appointments.
I heard him say something about visiting an
old 19th century observatory?
I know he was going to swing by Pinchgut, to
see if Francis Morgan was still hanging around.
Sure, I
know where she went. She was just asking me which of the two revolving
restaurants she should try. I told her they both made me tablesick.
You might
find her getting the lay of the land standing right below a 35,000 gallon water
tank.
You might catch her driving away from downtown
over the Coat Hanger.
You might catch him driving away from downtown
over the Coat Hanger.
Here, she dropped this photo. It looks like a dead gum tree - no, it's a
sculpture of a tree. I wonder where this is?
Here, he dropped this photo. It looks like a dead gum tree - no, it's a
sculpture of a tree. I wonder where this is?
She said she'd be in Chinatown. Does that
narrow it down?
He said he'd be in Chinatown. Does that narrow
it down?
Here, he left behind this photo of a building
by the water. Look at the roof on that place - the locals say it was inspired
by orange peels, but I don't see it.
He was extremely vague about where he was
headed, but he did mention he was going to see a concert at the stadium where
Madonna shot her Girlie Show Tour DVD. Me, I dropped out after "Like a
Prayer."
He was looking for inspiration, so he took a stroll
across the Writers' Walk. And at the end of the walk, he wrote me this
postcard. Look, he spelled everything correctly!
She was looking for inspiration, so she took a
stroll across the Writers' Walk. And at the end of the walk, she wrote me this
postcard. Look, she spelled everything correctly!
She's
always had a deep appreciation for aboriginal art.
He's
always had a deep appreciation for aboriginal art.
He told me
he's the world's biggest AC/DC fan, so this wasn't a business trip so much as a
pilgrimage.
She told
me she's the world's biggest AC/DC fan, so this wasn't a business trip so much
as a pilgrimage.
I told her
to catch a show at the Conservatorium, or as they used to call it,
"Greenway's Folly."
I told him
to catch a show at the Conservatorium, or as they used to call it,
"Greenway's Folly."
Perth, Australia
She's a
huge fan of Edwardian Baroque, so I told her she simply has to stop by
"the Maj."
He's a huge fan of Edwardian Baroque, so I told him he simply has to stop by "the Maj."
I helped him find an exhibition of Shane Pickett's work.
He's a huge fan of Edwardian Baroque, so I told him he simply has to stop by "the Maj."
I helped him find an exhibition of Shane Pickett's work.
I helped
her find an exhibition of Shane Pickett's work.
He told me
he's headed to the capital of WA.
He said something about visiting a colony of swans along the river?
He said something about visiting a colony of swans along the river?
She told
me he's headed to the capital of WA.
She said something about visiting a colony of swans along the river?
She said something about visiting a colony of swans along the river?
The city he's in is straight out of a Pavement
song!
The city she's in is straight out of a
Pavement song!
He told me he was looking for "a groovy
scene" where he could take his surfboard and move? I was a little confused
at first, but I think I pointed him in the right direction?
She told me she was looking for "a groovy
scene" where she could take her surfboard and move? I was a little
confused at first, but I think I pointed her in the right direction?
He practically interrogated me about security
at the Mint. If you ask me, he's just trying to get his hands on some
Kalgoorlie gold.
She practically interrogated me about security
at the Mint. If you ask me, she's just trying to get her hands on some
Kalgoorlie gold.
Word has it she had to pay a $300 fine for
pocketing a quokka. Check the State Records Office if you don't believe me.
Word has it he had to pay a $300 fine for
pocketing a quokka. Check the State Records Office if you don't believe me.
